How the eff do they drag me away if the plane already took off?

Granted, but the fruit becomes rotten, someone gets poisoned by it, his/her relatives go mad and toss you on the floor.

I wish I hadn't been tossed off that plane while it was in the air...

The plane is hijacked by horny Arabian horses that rape you.

I wish people would just admit my sig is the best.

Granted, and they demand you make them sigs like that, so much that your head explodes and you die.

I wish I didn't have to clean my house.

It eventually gets so dirty that pigs live in your house. One night they gang rape you.

I wish people would be more creative in general.

Granted. They stop using the "rape" wish corruption. Everyone is happy. The end.

I wish my back wasn't so screwed up.

It is raped up.

I wish people would be less creative.

Granted, but now people are so uncreative that they decide to rape you, in the old fasioned way.

I wish I wasnt so mean.

Granted, you're now so nice that people take you for a pushover, and you're scammed by 708 different salesmen.

I wish I didn't have those annoying floaters in my eye fluid.

Uhhhhh....They float away! And take your eyes with them!

I wish someone would reply to the Patrick's roleplay.....Yes, I have no life. I just sit and wait for messenges.

Granted, but they post when you don't really care about Patricks roleplay any more.

I wish I could kill everyone I look at. Apart from everyone I like.

You look at a mirror. Yes. You're emo.

I wish I could count to infinity.

You see Chuck Norris count to infinity twice and feel even worse!

I wish there were some true RP servers on San Andreas:Multiplayer

Every server vanishes. You're the only noob.

I wish the world was square.

We all fall off one of the edges due to the abrupt change of the shape of the Earth. Not to mention the havoc this plays on the magnetic field and gravity...

I wish Craig Ferguson gets his citizenship soon.

Craig Ferguson gets told his citizenship is a complete no-no.

I wish I had a balaclava.

as you command, and you get shot by some paranoid parents who think you are going to mugg their kids.

I wish I had a fox plushie

KA-ZAM! You get a fox plushie. The plushie grows more intelligent as it sees, learning, and soon, it eats you alive while you're sleeping.

I wish I was SCOTTY DOO!

You turn into a westie scotty doggy! Aaaaaand can't change back into a human.

I wish I could smash glass with my mind.

You smash the mirror. Oh wait, that wasn't your mind...

I wish EVERYDAY WAS A PARTY WOO!

Nobody gets to sleep, parties get out of control with drink and drugs, we all go crazy, bladibladibla....

I wish someone would post in the RPG section.

The RPG section gets isolated forever, and burns to the ground.

I wish I could pull a gun on a fish.

Granted, you shot the fish and take it home for tea. Unfortunealty that fish was a fav nephew of the shark mob boss and he and his mob attack and eat you.

I wish I had a friend who was a Elite

You get so many LEET friends that you can't make out a word they say and eventually end up in the looney-bin.(:))

I wish I had the best darn computer ever and not this pile-o-junk...

Granted, it's so good it blasts you away from your seat whilst saying "astalavista, baby" and then it mumbles "i'll be back..."

I wish I had a cool looking mouse mat.

Granted, but it's made of real mice who mistake you for cheese and eat you.

I wish that I had the most amazing skateboarding skills. So great that I was better than the best there ever was.

Ya got yer wish. Your skills are so friggen awesome, that even the top-most 'boarders envy you...that is, envy you enough to slit your throat open so they can claim their title (and yet again, they would be at their throats too)

Gee...what do I wish for...e.e
Oh yes...I wish I had a new car, kind'a like the ones on Pimp My Ride. All new paint job, vinyl, rims, have a 360 in the back, and a Halo 3 air freshener that smells like a Brute's death X3

Granted but the air freshner reeks so bad you pass out, and drive at 120kmh into a shopping mall. You are later arrested.

I wish I had two friends which were Hunters and they beat up anyone who teased me.

Hmm...You got your wish...The Hunters love to attack the people that tease you, that they even begin to fight over WHEN they get to save you. The Hunters become jealous about it, they begin to attack one another. One dies, the other dies because of severe trauma to the head...yada-yada-ya...(sorry, that wasn't very good...had a hard time to come up with one...-_-)

Gee...I really wish I was a dragon...

Granted! Long story short, the world eats dragon burgers for weeks.

I wish my printer would never run out of ink.

[edit]Damnit, too slow... Uuh, the ink dries up and royally %$#@'s up yer printer.

I wish I could open a portal to Oddworld.