A. Because they don't understand God's true message.


Q. Love thy neighbor?

Thy neighbor keeps to him or her self. Screw him/her.

How come one of the keys on my keyboard broke?

A: Because it was tired of constantly being pressed.

Q: What is the worst book that has ever been published?

A: "Procreation for Dummies".

Q: Why can't we be friends?

A: Because friendship is for sqaures.

Q: Who is, without a doubt, the best James Bond villain?

A. ME! Muwhawhaw.
Q. What does purple taste like?

A: Philadelphia

Q: Who shot J.R?

A: His evil twin, R.J.

Q: What makes Odd Job Abe so odd?

A: His job.

Q: Why are most colleges so damn expensive?

A. Their cheapscapes.
Q. Dude where's my car?

I wasn't suppose to say this, but it drove away from home. :(

Where's the booty treasure, matey?

A: Say what now?

Q: Why couldn't I think of a statement instead of a question?

Because you dying in Mitsur's alternate reality story that is somewhat non-alternate caused you to have a brain lapse. Only a small one ya' know. ;)



Why is the rum gone?

Ask my friend Jack. He seems to drink it up a lot.

How come I don't bleed when I smash my head in the wall?

A: Because you're invulnerable. Isn't it obvious?

Q: Why do all midgets have Vienna sausage fingers?

Because they're small, so they're fingers are small like baby fingers which are pudgy. Isn't it obvious? :D

Am I the only one who has small feet?

You're the only midget around here so... yeah.




If I had a whip, a pistol, and a cool hat, would I be able to rescue children from being slaves in a temple dedicated to ripping people's hearts out and sacrificing them to some dark god with the magical power of these oddly shapen stones with three stripes on them?

Only with permission from the temple dedicated to ripping people's hearts out and sacrificing them to some dark god with the magical power of these oddly shapen stones with three stripes on them.

Do you know what I did last summer?

A: No. Nor do I ever want to know.

Q: If Richard Jeni were alive, what advice would he give you?

A. Stop being so totally awesome. It's pissing everyone off.


Q. How did I ever get to be so awesome? Was it genetics or am I just an anomoly?

A: Don't give in to your thoughts of killing everyone in your school.

Q: Why does school tire me out so much?

You don't take naps in school. Start complaining to the school board and make a proposal to give 20 minute nap sessions for every period.

United States of America; true or false?

A: Trick question. The answer is none of the above.

Q: Who is Guy Compton?

A. Ya Mum!
Q. How many stars are there?

A: A giant arsehole.

Q: Why does my heart beat when I'm alive?

A. Not sure but I'd be happy to remedy the situation.


Q. Do you feel lucky?

* yes i do.


* americans?

A: ...live in America.

Q: Are you a horrible person?

A. No, no, I'm terrible.
Q. 400 sumo wrestlers each carrying an m16. "VS" The united nations. Who wins?

A: Mel Brooks.

Q: Is sulphuric acid suitable as a drink?