Bump.

I saw a "Best of Jane Rutter" CD yesterday.

Hohohohoho~

Three tomatoes are walking across the desert. Which one's the cowboy?
None of them. They're all redskins.

A man goes into a pub and orders some Adenosine triphosphate. The Barman says "That'll be 80p"

A thousand Internets to you if you get this.

I'm guessing it's something to do with the number of Phosphorus atoms in Adenosine triphosphate.

What's the difference between Barrack Obama and JFK?



Nothing.



Yet.

An Englishman, Welshman and a Pakistani were in the hospital ward waiting for their children to be born. A doctor emerges and says, "Congratulations, you've all bore a healthy boy each. However, we lost the name tags for each. So, you'll have to assume which baby is yours."

The Englishman goes in first and comes out with a tan-skinned baby; clearly the Pakistani child. "Hey! That's my son!" the Pakistani yells.
"I know," replied the Englishman, "But one of the two babies inside is Welsh, and I'm not taking any chances!"

That doesn't make any sense; there is one very big difference right now in that Obama is alive and JFK is dead. If you're implying that Obama (whose first name only has one 'r' by the way) is going to be assassinated, you're both two years late to the humour party and mixed up. Either change the question to "What's the similarity..." or change the answer to "Everything... For now"

The Pope gets shot on his visit to the UK and is rushed to hospital. On the way to the operating theater he whispers to the nurse, "Am I in heaven?" The nurse says "No we're just taking a shortcut through the children's ward."

Ridg3, you got some sick jokes. Love 'em.

Why'd The chicken cross the road?

Cause he was gay

How dare you associate Scrubs with that atrocity of a joke. It's people like you that need hung, drawn and quartered.

Erm, What?

You see, I knew we would never get along, mainly because of your avatar.

Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?

to get to the same side.

I think we all know this joke, but this is very important for me.

Well, Micheal Jackson is dead.
Oh well. Now that he is, they are going to melt him down (Since he is mostly Plastic) Into Legos, So kids can Finally play with him for a change.

Words do not describe how late that is.

I love you too

One day, a man running a pet store was putting up a new sign when he felt something gently tug on his pants leg. He looked down and saw an adorable little girl, who looked shy, but expectant. In the tiniest, softest little voice, she said, "Excuse me sir, but I was wondering, do you have any really little, tiny rabbits?"

The man smiled warmly and crouched down to her level. He gestured to the rabbit pens and replied, "Of course, sweetheart! Now, would you be interested in the little tiny black-furred rabbits, the little tiny white-and-brown patched rabbits, or the little tiny cream-coloured rabbits?"

The girl returned his smile with a grin, leaned in closer, and whispered,

"I don't think my Python really gives a shit."

What you get when you cut a tuba in half?

A oneba

A Catholic priest is just walking out of his church for lunch when a man runs up to him. His eyes are wild, his hair straggly and he looks like he's been through a hell of a lot.
'Father,' he gasps, 'Last night I commited several blasphemous sex acts with a teenage virgin, her sister and their mother!'
'Well,' says the priest, 'That's certainly an "interesting" story, but why are you telling me? I just got replaced in the confessions box by another priest.'
'Are you kidding? I'm telling everybody!'

Heh, after three re-reads I get it

I read it 6 times and still don't get it.

I read it once and said "meh".

Would you kindly explain the joke to me?

He's excited that he fucked a couple sister's and their mom.

See, that's what I thought it was on first reading. Then reading down I found that someone 'got it', at which point I densely analyzed it for ten minutes to find something to get.

Oh, I see. Now I get it.

Train Com: We are sorry for that bumpy ride, some selfish gits threw themselves in front of the train, and due to cut backs we cannot finish this announce-

Is that a joke?

If you didn't laugh, try and picture it as if Andy Parsons was saying it.

Is that a joke?

The executioners at Breendonk concentration camp were so stupid. They had no imagination. For instance, they could have made their victims look at themselves in the mirror.

No Ziggy, that's just, no, no!

Hypocrite.

i killed a man.

Put a gun upto his head?

pulled the trigger, now he's dead.

Mother! Life had just begun!

Now I've gone and blown it all away!


Best 1000th post ever.

i enjoyed the ride.