You look at a mirror. Yes. You're emo.

I wish I could count to infinity.

You see Chuck Norris count to infinity twice and feel even worse!

I wish there were some true RP servers on San Andreas:Multiplayer

Every server vanishes. You're the only noob.

I wish the world was square.

We all fall off one of the edges due to the abrupt change of the shape of the Earth. Not to mention the havoc this plays on the magnetic field and gravity...

I wish Craig Ferguson gets his citizenship soon.

Craig Ferguson gets told his citizenship is a complete no-no.

I wish I had a balaclava.

as you command, and you get shot by some paranoid parents who think you are going to mugg their kids.

I wish I had a fox plushie

KA-ZAM! You get a fox plushie. The plushie grows more intelligent as it sees, learning, and soon, it eats you alive while you're sleeping.

I wish I was SCOTTY DOO!

You turn into a westie scotty doggy! Aaaaaand can't change back into a human.

I wish I could smash glass with my mind.

You smash the mirror. Oh wait, that wasn't your mind...

I wish EVERYDAY WAS A PARTY WOO!

Nobody gets to sleep, parties get out of control with drink and drugs, we all go crazy, bladibladibla....

I wish someone would post in the RPG section.

The RPG section gets isolated forever, and burns to the ground.

I wish I could pull a gun on a fish.

Granted, you shot the fish and take it home for tea. Unfortunealty that fish was a fav nephew of the shark mob boss and he and his mob attack and eat you.

I wish I had a friend who was a Elite

You get so many LEET friends that you can't make out a word they say and eventually end up in the looney-bin.(:))

I wish I had the best darn computer ever and not this pile-o-junk...

Granted, it's so good it blasts you away from your seat whilst saying "astalavista, baby" and then it mumbles "i'll be back..."

I wish I had a cool looking mouse mat.

Granted, but it's made of real mice who mistake you for cheese and eat you.

I wish that I had the most amazing skateboarding skills. So great that I was better than the best there ever was.

Ya got yer wish. Your skills are so friggen awesome, that even the top-most 'boarders envy you...that is, envy you enough to slit your throat open so they can claim their title (and yet again, they would be at their throats too)

Gee...what do I wish for...e.e
Oh yes...I wish I had a new car, kind'a like the ones on Pimp My Ride. All new paint job, vinyl, rims, have a 360 in the back, and a Halo 3 air freshener that smells like a Brute's death X3

Granted but the air freshner reeks so bad you pass out, and drive at 120kmh into a shopping mall. You are later arrested.

I wish I had two friends which were Hunters and they beat up anyone who teased me.

Hmm...You got your wish...The Hunters love to attack the people that tease you, that they even begin to fight over WHEN they get to save you. The Hunters become jealous about it, they begin to attack one another. One dies, the other dies because of severe trauma to the head...yada-yada-ya...(sorry, that wasn't very good...had a hard time to come up with one...-_-)

Gee...I really wish I was a dragon...

Granted! Long story short, the world eats dragon burgers for weeks.

I wish my printer would never run out of ink.

[edit]Damnit, too slow... Uuh, the ink dries up and royally %$#@'s up yer printer.

I wish I could open a portal to Oddworld.

Granted, but the scrabs get, drag you out and eat you, then throw your bones into the sea where a seaex eats it and then chokes. The vykkers find the huge corpse of the searex and die of shock. Vykkers labs #8 crashes and blows up, buring a forest down where countless muds, and wildlife die.

I wish I was a mango

Poof! You're a mango! You sit in your tree and sunbathe. No one comes to pick you off your tree to eat you and you're happy. Until one day you hear a "snap", and you plummet ten feet to the ground. No major damage- you're good.

Then you rot. Bummer.

I wish technology didn't hate me.

Granted! Technology loves you! But now everything else you like hates you. Forever.

I wish EVERYONE WERE MY SLAVES.

Lucille bald and Pee wee lead a slave rebellion against you, and you are shunned to stay in your house while Pee wee and Lucille bald enjoy their fame and record in history.

I wish I could meet Lucille bald.

Unfortunately for you, he's been killed. *aims sniper rifle*

I wish I didn't have to go to bed.

You become an insomniac and die from lack of sleep.

I wish I wasn't an insomniac.

Granted, but you still die from old age and that...

I wish, no I REALLY wish that Abe's Oddysee was more glitchy...

Granted but it becomes so glicthy that its unplayerble

I wish the simpsons were real.

Granted, but they all rape you. MUHAHAHAHA-

I wish that Abe's Oddysee was glitchier than it already is, but only by a teeny weeny tiny winy midget sized amount. Beat that!

That teeny weeny tiny winy midget sized glitch makes you get crushes when you first land in Rupture Farms.

I wish I had a microphone.

Raping AGAIN!? Get some originality!

You get your microphone, but it (rapes you, lol) misses a component, therefore it is broken. A thief breaks into your house and steals it before you get the chance to complain to the seller.

I wish I... had ONE wish right now...

Granted, but it gets corrupted.

I wish I was faster.

Missed it again, eh? Tough luck...

You become so fast you (get raped) bump into a wall at the speed of 999 mph and splatter all around the street!

I wish that wish was uncorruptible...

You get bashed for being unfair.

I wish I had a giant chocolate sundae RIGHT NOW.

You get such a BIG sundae it melts too fast and drowns you!

I wish I had a cup of coffee NOT made by me.

You drank it. What? Poisoned?

I wish I had lumps of my pudding pops.

Granted, but they (lol rape you xD) get angry and eat you.

I wish I had chunky chicken wings.

You get them (and you rape yourself with it) but they fly away...

I wish I hadn't eaten so much right now...

Granted. You keep shrinking until you're nothing.

I wish I knew the name of this song.

Granted, but you forget which song it was. Then someone uh...rapes you.

I wish that cheese on toast tasted a bit nicer. But not as nice as chocolate and not as nasty as that wierd crap I got from the cafeteria at school.