Granted, you finally open that door you have always wanted to open. You open it and inside you find a...a...a...black hole and you get sucked in and teleported to Oddworld, and everyone says you look different. You meet Abe, but he is evil, and he possesses you then blows you up. Then a scrab eats your remains and you are dead. YOU ARE DEAD.

I wish for a cheesy scrab head!

The cheesy head is on a cheesy scrab. That eats you.

I wish I had more music on my mp3 player.

Granted. It has so much music it implodes upon playing a song and you are killed.

I wish I had some BOILER!

You are shot for randomness

I wish I worked in a gun shop.

You drop a gun and are shot in a freak accident.

I wish the sound on my speaker worked.....It just stopped making sound for no reason...

Granted, It works but its on full volume and you were listening too some loud rock music and you became deaf forever!

I wish I had an iRack which had 10 different colour settings and a cup of boiler.

Wish granted!
Unfortuantly bill gates notices this and in a matrix spin off microsoft and apple have a war with loads of computers and reality warping abuilities wihich is so cool that your eyes burn up in coolness.Then Bill gates finds you with your iRack and you are exicuted by Bill himself for being a heretic.

I wish that this thread got too 1000 posts

The thread gets locked a 999 posts

I wish for nothing.

Granted, but you wished for nothing, and the whole universe is now nothing. You have effectively destroyed the universe, thus life never existing and nothing is ever there and nothing ever exists.

I wish for a hot shower.

Granted but the shower is too hot and you suffer serious 3rd degree burns

I wish for a nintendo wii.

You get a Nintendo Puu instead, and the place starts to smell like a toilet.

I wish I didn't have to go to school. *is looking forward to graduation in 2 years time*

Granted, but you got feral and attack people, you grow fangs and claws and get shipped off to a zoo.

I wish my children werent born dead.

What a dreadfully morbid child you are... Your family and friends are stricken with grief, and shun you for making such a wish.

I wish I had beef jerkey.

You choke on it.

I wish I knew who made Nate gay....Hmm, I probably already posted this before...Oh well...

You find out it was you!

I wish for a guitar.

But....I am a female!

It gets smashed when Chubfish sits on it.

I wish I had more free time.

Granted, but you may only spend it in a room with no oxygen in it. And then the guitar I sat on falls on your head and breaks your spine (I actually own a guitar...). Then I uh...throw your corspe into a volcano then spread your ashes into another volcano and spread the dust from that volcano onto a carpet, then hoover it up through a vacuum cleaner. After that, I toss the vacuum cleaner in the volcano and my job is done. For now.

I wish for a better guitar (my one is sorta wrecked in many ways by someone who I don't know of, guess who!).

Granted, but some hippies mugg you and nick your guitar and clothes, and shave your hair off.

I wish I had a guard dog called Fluffy.

Granted, but Fluffy is too fluffy, and when trying at attack someone it rams into you and you fall into a sewer.

I wish I could go out at day time.

Granted, but now you can't go out at night.

I wish... for... an Intern. Right here. So I can hug him.

Granted but he hugs you back... too hard you suffocate

I wish for a knife.

Granted! But you end up loosing it somewhere in the house, only to find it when you trip on a sweater and land on it. Pointy side up.

I wish I didn't procrastinate so much.

Granted, but it costs you £10000000000.00 too make that wish. and £20 for the knife. It's a good knife, strangah.

I wish for a better phone.

Granted you get the best next-gen phone but it costs £99999999999999999999 you become bankrupt and a tramp

I wish my name was jack krauser.

:pPeople laugh at you for having a funny name.

I wish I could be transported into W@RF.....MUAHAHA! VICTORY WILL BE MINE111!!!

You get splattered upon teleportation

i wish for a machete.

Granted, but its blunt, and then Zombies attack, and they eat you alive.

I wish I was a princess.

You are married off to an old man at a very young age and he rapes you. And he doesn't share his money with you, either.

I wish for a new pair of headphones.

:pOh come on, that's a little sick.

The headphones break.

I wish our characters could meet...:DI think Agent 80085 already met Ricardo though.

Each to their own <3

Not again!

Granted, Ricky meets Agent and he grabs her and... farts.

I wish my noodles weren't stale.