What have you done wrong when your wife comes out of the kitchen and starts nagging you? Made the chain too long.
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Why doesn't the Pope live in South Africa?
Because you lost the game. |
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alright, so it's the difference betweem jews and egyptians. |
Or it's the difference between the Saudis and the Egyptians.
Besides, how can you compare a religious group with a country? It's like comparing apples with tractors. |
What's the difference between an apple and a tractor?
Goddamn everything. |
What's the difference between Ench and someone who makes obvious statements that add nothing to a discussion?
I'll let you guess the answer to that one. |
By what level will the spam-o-meter reach by 10 o'clock if this keeps up?
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It's not spam if it's a mod posting.
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Hey, what's bluish and crappy looking and haunts your forum browsing?
The Abe at the top of this page. All the little weeabes, too. |
Oh, damn. I thought it was me.
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Since when are you bluish?
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Uh... Thursday. Thursday the 28th of July, 2003.
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What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina?
Only one retarded thing came out of her vagina. |
HA.
God created Saturn, he liked it so he put a ring on it. I could have said Uranus, but I do have SOME class. |
What do you call three chavs in a ford going off a cliff?
A shame, the Ford has four seats. |
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My history tab drops over his face. The only thing he leers at over here is the help tab.
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http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/9394/34090945.png
See, he's looking upwards & sideways, secretively reading from behind. |
That fuck.
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Uum, what?
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That fuck.
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Oh, I see.
EDIT: Seriously though, I see that as either 'Crudely Drawn Abe is a bastard' or 'I agree with you, annoyed as I am' |
It's "crudely drawn Abe is a bastard", just to make things perfectly clear.
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Thankyou. I like your hat.
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Man goes into the doctors for a penis check up.
NURSE: I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating sir. MAN: Why? NURSE: Because i'm trying to examine you. ABM |
Cocaine is never a solution.
Unless of course, you dissolve it in water. |
woman tells her boyfriend "you make love like you decorate."
he says "what? slow with smooth strokes and professional finish?" "no," she replies. "more like the council: you just bang it up, leave a right mess and i have to finish the job myself." they just get worse where i am. |
Y'all hear about the earthquake in Chile?
I hear they're pretty shaken up about it. |
My friend hit Puberty today
Fuck me, some of the kids he hangs around with have got ridiculous names. |
f(x) walks into a restaurant and the manager says "sorry but we don't cater for functions"
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The new Microsoft advert shows a man using the 'private browsing' function of Internet Explorer to order his wife jewellery...
Yes, I'm sure that's what we're all using it for. |
AND NOW FOR A JOKE THAT ONLY SMART PEOPLE WILL GET.
What's the worst thing to put near a Tokomak? A Luddite |
Erm... did you mean a Tokamak?
All of which reminds me of the line from the Tripod song: Here is a joke for the very well read; Just like Thomas More, we give good head. |
I had a blind date once. Her name was http://img138.imageshack.us/img138/1058/img452.png
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Her name was Vjubie?
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no it was Julie :p, ur monitors not bumpy enough
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OH MY GOD THANK YOU ALL FOR BRINGING THIS BACK I COULDN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE!
Okay, so there's this lizard in Australia crawling around and he sees a Koala smoking pot in a tree. "Hey, what are you doing? Don't you only eat Eucalyptus or something?" asks the lizard "Naw, man, this shit is great, you got to have some." So the lizard takes a joint and they both start to get high, when all of the sudden the lizard gets really thirsty. "I'm gonna go get a drink and stuff," says the lizard drowsily before falling out of the tree in his quest for water. The lizard finds a watering hole and meets a crocodile. the crocodile is so surprised that the lizard's eyes are so red. "hey, are you okay?" asks the crocodile. "Yeah, I'm just smoking doobies with my friend the Koala." "The Koala smokes pot?" "yeah, man, I've never seen anything so strange." the lizard goes back to drinking. The crocodile wonders if the lizard is just hallucinating, so he goes over to the tree to see if there really is a koala smoking pot in the tree. "Hey, Koala, is that you?" asks the crocodile. The koala looks down and screams "HOLY SHIT DUDE HOW MUCH WATER DID YOU DRINK???" |
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