....and U.S. forces siezed Saddam and left him alone with PETA! (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) Then anrgy PETA members.....
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...fell down. they then got up and...
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........tortured Saddam with.......
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...baby crocs who bit their nipples, he screamed and Bush declared that...
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...........the U.S. would find the weapons of MASH Destruction even if he had to bite off all Saddam's........
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nose hairs. But we all knew that Saddam was Hitler in deguise who...
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...was really Alcar! (Not suprising) And because Saddam/Hitler/Alcar couldn't do anything in Iraq anymore, he decided to turn to banning inocent...
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sligs that so happens to be named Grig. So lone and behold John the Cow came back with a....
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........new soul! John's shaman friend, Bobaloo, reversed the demonic side of John and tried to put his normal soul back in, but something got mixed up in the nether realm and John now has the soul of Michael Jackson! Now Bobaloo and John are in search of Michael, so they can be switched back! Anyway, John keeps grabbing his crotch constantly and.......
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...and dropping babies out of windows. On the other side of the world Johns soul inhabiting michaels body goes on television and announces that...
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..........he is using all his moolah to buy the beef industry and stop slaughtering cows. He then told beef lovers to go find something else to eat! So, all of the sudden, vegatarians started buying Michael Jackson CD's like crazy! Then John's Soul inside Michael's body became richer that Bill Gates! Now.....
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...Bobaloo finally swiched them back, John was a normal cow again, and Micheal Jackson was as normal as he could be! As soon as Micheal was back in his body he decided to swich with someone again! That way when he starts to molest someone they woundn't think it's him! So he found his own Voodoo man named Hobbob that was going to turn into a cow again, because he want to impregnate a cow(He thinks they're sexy!) Anyway, as soon as the VooDoo ritual was done and Micheal was a cow again, a crazy person tried to...
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.........Kill Michael the cow, since beef suply was so short. Well, Michael did a few dance moves and in the end got his head sliced off and was eaten raw! Oh well. :fuzwink:
Anyway, John the cow collected all the money he made when he was in Michael's body and John is now the most wealthy cow in the world! John decided to take his cash and..... |
and build a meat processing plant called RuptureFarms. He got the idea from a video game he once played that was called, let me see here, ah yes Oddworld. So John build his meat processing plant because he started to have this major craveing for pork. But John couldn't find any pork in the area so he....
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...decided to settle for paramite, scrab, meech, and his personal favorite: Slurg Slushies! So he hired (Enslaved) a bunch of muds to run Rupture farms and make him all the Slurg Slushies he wants! So then he...
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.........decided to keep Rupture Farms up and running without any interference and invested in millions of chant suppresors. Every slig came standered with a chant suppresor on a leesch! Also....boom machines where armed with slig voice locks. With all this protection, the new Rupture Farms......
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...really tight security wise, so all the muds started to get deppressd and angry! So every slig they saw, they'd steal there gun, shoot the slig and...
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......rip off their loincloths! :eek: All the sligs ran away after that, so John had no choice but to.....
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...to kill everyone and eat them! So he grabbed a gun from a dead slig, shot everyone and threw them in the meat grinder while listening to the Hobbit on cassette.:eek: The Horror! Then he...
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.........was burried in a pile of rubble as Rupture Farms colapsed on him. Nobody knows if he's dead or alive, but we do that John the Cow is....
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...really sad that he listened to the Hobbit instead of taking the time to read the actual book. Anyway, the colapse of RF was all over the news, and rumors of John the Cows death were all over the media, so when finally John the cow crawled out of RF, he was covered in...
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slimy slig goop with cherrys on top!(:D YAY) This made John so happy with joy he skipped into a...
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...an on-comming semi-truck!:eek: He flew 1 mile into the air and was hit by an airplane! :eek: Then he fell and landed in the worlds biggest blender! :eek: Then he was...
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....brought back to life again as John the devil cow. This time he had a diabolical plan to cover the ozone in noxious fumes that he will spray from his mouth, anus and genitalia. The first step of the plan was....
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...to infect the world with the ebolia virus and kill everyone on the earth! But when he grabbed one of those outbreak monkeys, he acidentaly was infected with the virus himself! So, he decided to go to the nearest doughnut shop and buy some doughnuts! When he got there, he...
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......realized the nearby doughnut shop was closed down and replaced by a disease control center, so he decided to check up on his ebolia. Tests were run, and it turns out that the ebolia virus effects cows differently than humans and instead of death, causes noxious fumes to spray from mouth, anus and genitalia! Step 1 complete! So, John the Devil Cow killed everybody in the disease control center and moved on to Step 2, which is......
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...to resurect John the Angel cow and turn it into a vampire! So he did this, and when John the Vampire cow woke up, he decided that he didn't like eating people, he liked cows! So John the Devil cow was eaten by John the Vampire cow! Then John the Vampire cow...
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...realized that he was extremely confused but just shrugged his shoulders and...
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...went on a cow eating rampage! He ate 16 cows before Buffy slayed him! Then Buffy...
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......met Bobaloo, John's Shaman friend. Bobaloo was trying to help John become a living cow agian, but Buffy screwed things up! Bobaloo was ticked at first, but in a heated argument, Buffy and Bobaloo actually hit it off. They started dating and then finally got married. Everything was perfect until one day.....
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