I got engaged last week, for all you who aren't on my Fartbake, to the bestest girl in the world. Down on one knee and everything. And even though I'm only the baby age of 21 I don't think I've jumped in too early seeing as we were together for about three years and have been living together for the past 6-7 months.

So far, though, a wedding is not on the cards... at least not for a verrry long time. For the time being it's a promise that I'm committed to her and only her for as long...

My (professional) concert cherry of course.

I was moaning a while back that I haven't been to see any bands live and I really need to go out and actually see something, I mentioned as well that the bands I want to see before anything else were Cradle of Filth, Anathema, Alter Bridge or Devin Townsend Project. So you could imagine that a few short days of mentioning this here I happen to come across a Fartbook message saying that DTP is playing in Belfast. I was elated. First chance...

A tale of a young, talented unheard of musician and his discovery.

Now, I've been playing guitar for roughly eight years, that's right, eight years and no-one outside my immediate family and friends has ever heard me play because I'm that fucking good I don't want anyone else to sound like shit. But if I put all joking to one side, I honestly sound like how poo smells (I think) or does this happen to everyone? I don't say I'm good in fear that someone asks me to play and I'd sound...

They do fuck all and criticize you for not doing what they fucking want.

The story is that there's this company called Argos and one day they rang me up saying I was successful in the interview and I was offered a temporary position over the busiest period of the year. Long hours, good money? Yeah? No. Well, for the age I was, I was getting more than enough to do me as I was only seventeen at the time, but still kind of shit.

I was trained up as a picker and a picker...

When you feel a sneeze coming, what do you call it whenever you coax it out by rubbing the roof of your mouth with your tongue?

Well, I was sacked from my job recently (recently being my birthday (best birthday gift ever.)) And the exuberant feeling of having no job to occupy my time has long since faded so now I'm out trolling for non-existent minimum wage jobs. Fuck that shit, there has to be someone out there looking for someone with good grades and experience... nope, not the case at all. Even the glowing reference from my ex-manager was insufficient enough to land me a job.

St. Patrick's day just went...

What strange series of events occurred that allowed me to achieve this awesome number... just thought I'd share, that is all.

Guess what? They've managed to fuck up my pay... again!

I started working at the start of September, well, apparently not to the manager who did the induction, to her I don't start 'till the first of October. So all the hours that I have worked this month (roughly 80 odd hours) failed to register with the folks who manage the pay.

I know it was an error on her part when it came to filling out the dates and she apologized profusely for that, but I fail to see how the...

You know those people, the ones that are lucky enough to land a job in a time of recession and job loss and still have the audacity to complain about this job even though there would be a lot of unemployed people willing to take said job?




I'm one of those people.

Don't get me wrong though, I realize that I am lucky to have a job and I'm grateful having it, but Jesus Fucking H Christ do those cunts know how to take advantage of someone who just...

There seems to be an abnormal amount of viewers at the moment... 122.