there's a lot of people online on the forums today for some reason and I'm loney.

So I did a bad thing recently. I don't wanna say what just straight up in a blog post 'cause anyone can read these. But anyway, I did a pretty bad thing to a friend and they hurt. And then he told all my other closest friends and now like, the 3 most important people in my life are just gone. None of them will talk to me. It feels so shitty and idk really how to handle it. I don't know how to process having the 3 people who I cared for more than any other suddenly, as if at the drop of a hat, hate...

So I'm sick. Very sick. I'm coughing hard all the time and producing mucus like crazy. I, just before leaving for work, take a dose of Delsym, and perhaps I slightly overfilled my cup because I felt like real shit and I work in foodservice. So I get to work, the meds are def working and I feel fine. I get in the back and start doing dishes and my boss comes back and gives me a bottle of Dayquil and says "here's a present." Trying not to be rude, I take a dose in front of him. Then, behold, I learn...

I just made THE MOST amazing fried egg ever.

Before you ask, yes, that is ramen, I highly reccomend putting a fried egg in your ramen. The noodles take in the egg flavor and the egg takes in the broth flavor it’s some goood shit GOOOOOD SHIT.

It had just the right amount of broth and black pepper flavor and the yolk was warm and gooey, but all the white was solid and cooked. The first bite was all whites, tasted like I expected, then I bit the yolk and it just melted...

I feel like everything I do hurts someone. Like, everything. Anytime I do something it offends someone, inconveniences someone, excludes someone, or just hurts someone. I always feel like everyone in my life is mad, annoyed, or sad because of me, and it's not like I do it on purpose. I just want to have a day where someone isn't hurt from me.

But it's not too bad I guess, there's this site that really helps you get your thoughts out.

Also I think I just got neg-repped...

Is like one of my favorite game series and I rarely get a time to talk about it because it's fandom consists of about 3 people and a cat. I got myself Simcity SNES as an early birthday present for myself and it's fantastic. It's much simpler than the other's in the series but it still maintains the name well.

Speaking of my birthday, it's coming up and I just don't feel excited like I used to. It's less than 10 days away and I'm not thinking "Wow I can't wait till the 17th" like I...

No not really. Well, maybe, still haven't gotten to play.

Last night I had a really strange dream. I finally got N'n'T on the computer, and it was awful. Like, unplayably so. The disappointment was extreme.

On a different note entirely, I will probably be starting hormones soon and that's helping me dig myself out of depression.

Every fucking time I try to have a close friend this happens. Every time. I get a group of friends and we start regularly hanging out and being awesome and my depression finally starts lifting and I start doing things and being healthy and not wasting away like the waste of life I usually am, but then just fucking out of no where they end up hating each other. It's almost always over stupid shit too. And then the group disbands. And I can't really be friends like I used to because all they do around...

So for christmas I got a huge graphics card.



It really makes things look impressive. I can run every game I have at 60 fps+ on max settings.

Normally I wouldn't post a blog this meaningless, but there needs to be less blogs on the front page of that one guy.

So I got fired from my job for taking 2 consecutive sick days in a row. Normally I work when sick, but I had a bad cough and I worked on the phone all day, so I wouldn't have been usful. I properly sent in messages to my boss each day to say I was sick, but I guess they don't care. I don't know how to feel. I mostly feel depressed though. This is the first time I have ever been fired. Thankfully, I am still a loser that lives in her parents house, so I wont be too worried about money, but it still...