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I am a Potato

Posted 08-27-2015 at 06:18 AM by Phylum
Maybe that's an exaggeration. It's not like I can't get up and move around. I'm moving a lot better than I was a few weeks ago. I can make my bed without getting breathless, don't get stressed out about making a cup of tea etc. It's more that I'm struggling to do anything. I still can't manage sitting up all day. Walking is fucking exhausting. I've completely dropped uni for this semester now, and I really just wish I could walk for hours and hours every day. If I could I definitely would. I've been trying to work on my coding, and do some video editing, but my god it's so hard to focus and concentrate and actually get anything productive done. I've been scheduling my days, breaking them up into 20-30 minute chunks that I can actually digest, but it doesn't take much to push myself too far and basically knock myself out for the rest of the day. Even fucking around playing video games is too hard and stressful most of the time. Most days I get 1-2 productive hours. It feels dirty. I've never been this unproductive for so long before.

I've been stuck at home for the last 2 months. Leaving the house is a real experience. Very uncomfortable, unstable and can tire me out for a few days after. I wish I had space to invite people over, or the energy to clean up and make space. Nothing against my parents but for the last 3 years I've been stuck at home with them so fucking much it's getting pretty unbearable. I want to see my friends :c

But I have totally dropped uni now, as I said. Hopefully I'll start actually recovering soon. I know this will pass, but after 2 months it's starting to feel like an eternity. I just want to do things, feel productive. Fuck.
Total Comments 5


Varrok's Avatar
I like potatoes.

That means you're a cool person, by my standards.
Posted 08-27-2015 at 06:57 AM by Varrok

Phylum's Avatar
pls no drink me polski
Posted 08-27-2015 at 04:31 PM by Phylum

Nate's Avatar
Excuse my ignorance, but aren't there drugs to help at least the symptoms of chronic fatigue?
Posted 08-27-2015 at 09:47 PM by Nate

Job McYossie's Avatar
I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this to this degree. I hope you start getting more recovery.
Posted 08-27-2015 at 11:14 PM by Job McYossie

Phylum's Avatar
I'm on multivitamins! CFS is one of those things where different people get treated differently. The most common medical treatment is anti-depressants and they only helped me with the depression.

I know of some experimental pill that my old composition teacher took for CFS, and some special therapies that another person I know has tried, but there's no guaranteed-fix thing. Those cases were respectively much longer running (30+ years) and more severe than mine though.
Posted 08-28-2015 at 02:22 AM by Phylum


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