This Is Serious!
It may, in fact, make you delirious.
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Crazy People That Happen To Me V
Posted 02-20-2009 at 07:42 AM by OANST
About six or seven years ago I was working for a home improvement company which paid me to walk door to door setting up appointments for sales reps to come out and do estimates. We would go to all sorts of different areas to do this. Some were very nice. Some were very not.
One day, I was working on a street that was filled with beautiful homes. Most of them were two story colonials, and they were all kept immaculate. Every single house but the one on the corner. This home was dilapidated and apparently came with it's very own dregs of society, as there were five disheveled and dirty looking people sitting on the porch and the lawn.
Now, I never skip a house. I go to every home no matter what it looks like. It's impossible to know what a person's situation is just from looking at them. It's always possible that they received some kind of settlement for something, and that this allows them the luxury to live in their own filth.
So, I walk up to the group and start asking them about the homeowner. I soon find out that one of the guys with a mullet rents the home. I immediately lose interest and begin to leave. As I'm walking away, a very fit and quite good looking asian girl calls for me to wait. I stop, thinking that she may want some work done on her home, and she walks over to me.
My vision of her being pretty is completely shattered as soon as she opens her mouth. Her teeth, every fucking one of them, are completely black. She looks like she has been chewing on tar for about ten years. And then she starts talking.
For the first few sentences it's fine. She does talk to me about home improvement type things. But all of a sudden she changes the subject.
"Do you want me to suck your dick?", she asks.
I tell her that I'm working right now and that my boss will probably be coming around to pick me up soon. "It won't take long", says she.
"I have a girlfriend", I tell her.
"Well, I won't tell her", she says.
At this point I just tell her that I appreciate the offer but I just can't. I then walk away, expecting at any moment to hear the sound of the other crack heads running after me, with the intent of beating and robbing my person.
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