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Bribery and How I Win Too.

Posted 05-03-2010 at 11:44 AM by OANST
I give Abbey five dollars for every book that she reads cover to cover without me helping her with a single word. If I have to help her then she is done for the night, and will have to try again the next night. Now, she already likes books, but this just gives a bigger incentive for her to spend her time investigating the many worlds available to her in books.

I asked her the other day what she was going to buy with the money that she's been saving from this. You know what she tells me? She wants to get the Boomer toy from Left 4 Dead. So after high fiving I explained to her that the toy is pretty expensive. She doesn't care. She'll just save her money, she says.

You kids don't know how awesome it is to have a 6 year old girl who wants to buy toys of obese, vomiting zombies.
Total Comments 45

Comments

dripik's Avatar
Ruth Handler, eat your heart out.
Posted 05-03-2010 at 12:23 PM by dripik

MA's Avatar
great stuff. book reading at her age that's nothing to do with school is pretty fucking decent.

out of interest, how many books has she read without any help? if you don't mind me asking.
Posted 05-03-2010 at 12:35 PM by MA

OANST's Avatar
Oh, I don't know. Enough to know that she's a GENIUS.
Posted 05-03-2010 at 12:38 PM by OANST

shaman's Avatar
I finished a book today.

Pay up.
Posted 05-03-2010 at 01:25 PM by shaman

Ridg3's Avatar
Give her The Shining...then you'll never have to pay.
Posted 05-03-2010 at 01:26 PM by Ridg3

Wings of Fire's Avatar
Because there are so many typos in a King book she'll never finish without help.
Posted 05-03-2010 at 01:30 PM by Wings of Fire

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
:
Oh, I don't know. Enough to know that she's a GENIUS.
Photobucket
Geniuses don't spend 50$ on tumor encrusted plush obese men.
Posted 05-03-2010 at 01:31 PM by Mac Sirloin

MA's Avatar
:
Because there are so many typos in a King book she'll never finish without help.
King's dicksleckzik
Posted 05-03-2010 at 01:32 PM by MA

OANST's Avatar
Some geniuses are tumor encrusted plush obese men. Shows how much you know.
Posted 05-03-2010 at 01:33 PM by OANST

T-nex's Avatar
Abbey is lucky.
Posted 05-03-2010 at 03:49 PM by T-nex

Strike Witch's Avatar
Just make sure she doesn't start grabbin' Pills.
Posted 05-03-2010 at 04:40 PM by Strike Witch

Nate's Avatar
FIVE DOLLARS?!

Back when I was a kid and we did the MS Readathon (wherein you find sponsors to pay you money for each book you read, the money going to MS research), my dad would pay me five or ten cents a book. Holy crap.
Posted 05-04-2010 at 04:06 AM by Nate

T-nex's Avatar
Kids nowadays... So spoiled. *shakes head*

But dad would just throw an encyclopedia in my lap and tell me to read it :-/ I never got the whole way through. It was so boring.
Posted 05-04-2010 at 04:46 AM by T-nex

MA's Avatar
:
Back when I was a kid and we did the MS Readathon (wherein you find sponsors to pay you money for each book you read, the money going to MS research), my dad would pay me five or ten cents a book.
i used to get a cuff around the head for every book i read.

i was top of the class, as you can tell.
Posted 05-04-2010 at 05:47 AM by MA

OANST's Avatar
Inflation, guys! You have to take inflation into account.

But really, though. What the fuck is she going to do with ten cents?

Also, I should put Abbey on you guys in Left 4 Dead. The kid loves griefing. She used to get really upset with me when I would do it. You could hear her all the way down the street screaming "Stop shooting Louis! Stop it!". Now I'll occasionally join a campaign on expert and just hand her the controller. Hilarity ensues.
Posted 05-04-2010 at 06:37 AM by OANST
Updated 05-04-2010 at 06:42 AM by OANST

Pilot's Avatar
You're teaching her to value money over her own interests and motivations. You should be ashamed.
Posted 05-04-2010 at 12:12 PM by Pilot

OANST's Avatar
I like to think of it as rewarding desired behavior, but whatever. See it how you like.
Posted 05-04-2010 at 12:29 PM by OANST

Pilot's Avatar
Money should always replace love.
Posted 05-04-2010 at 12:36 PM by Pilot

Wings of Fire's Avatar
Psychology does not work how Justin thinks it does.
Posted 05-04-2010 at 12:36 PM by Wings of Fire

Pilot's Avatar
Practice it.

I don't mean to carelessly criticise, but I can't help but remember how the friends I had growing up in elementary school whose parents paid them money in order to motivate them to do things- chores quite aside, literally paid them cash incentives in order to 'succeed' in school, sports, whatever, all turned out to be major assholish douchebags who value little else but money. None of them I know today would bother to do anything asked unless they were getting paid. It's just really sad. That's the source of my perspective.
Posted 05-04-2010 at 12:44 PM by Pilot

OANST's Avatar
I don't give her monetary rewards for doing school work. Sure, if she has a particularly exceptional week I will take her to Chuck E. Cheese or some such place, but those are surprises, not a tiered reward system.

And not to be one of those douchebags who wants to have something seen as being sacred, but fuck you for implying (joking or otherwise) that I throw money at my child to keep from having to deal with her. I work on homework with her for almost two hours every school night. Before we do that any daylight left available to us is spent either playing in the yard, or with me running along beside her as she rides her bike (which is fucking exhausting, I might add). On weekend evenings we make popcorn, turn the lights off, and watch movies. We are known by sight and name at the local nature center, where we spend a lot of time in a tunnel designed for kids to crawl through and learn about wildlife under rivers. A tunnel that I have to wriggle through on my belly. The idea that I retain a professional or even distant relationship with my child is so absurd that I don't see how I could be offended by it. And yet I am.

My parents gave me a dollar for every book that I read through to conclusion when I was a child, and I'm not cheap, stingy, or a douchebag. A cunt or a prick, maybe. But not a douchebag.

If you ever have a child, I'll be happy to offer you parenting advice, seeing as how I've had the years of experience and all.
Posted 05-04-2010 at 01:29 PM by OANST

Posted 05-04-2010 at 03:59 PM by Nemo

Pilot's Avatar
You ought to know I'm ribbing you; as if I have a right to get all up in your business and criticize your parenting from, at best, assumptions.

So don't get mad at me. Get even.
Posted 05-04-2010 at 05:40 PM by Pilot

Disgruntled Intern's Avatar
Aw, Pilot got bested, then he gots cared

I hot beeras, then I got tipsy.

still though oanst is good dad. $$$5 is too much money, but what the fuck, he's mr.money with quarters in his jacket. jingle jinglew daddio, run next to thaT BIKE YOU FUCKIGN BITTER BUFFALO BACKED SUNNAFSAS

marijuanaa cigaretes aoe
Posted 05-04-2010 at 11:05 PM by Disgruntled Intern

Pilot's Avatar
Your trolling is as predictable as the morning paper.
Posted 05-05-2010 at 12:39 AM by Pilot

Nate's Avatar
Whilst I don't agree with Pilot's contention that monetary reward turns kids in to douchebags, I have read plenty of stuff about bonuses in the workplace that imply that they're a fairly destructive influence.

If you take someone who gets pleasure out of doing their job well and offer them a bonus for doing it, pretty soon they'll only be doing it for the money and lose all sense of enjoyment in what they do. Then if you later take away the bonus (or if it's on a sliding scale, so that it becomes more difficult to earn the better they get), the person loses all motivation to do a good job.

So whilst I don't have any issues for offering cash for chores or homework, I'd hesitate before linking reading with any reward other than its own enjoyment. Probably a bit late now though.
Posted 05-05-2010 at 02:21 AM by Nate

Wings of Fire's Avatar
Children's_Minds_Do_Not_Work_Like_That
Posted 05-05-2010 at 02:44 AM by Wings of Fire

Pilot's Avatar
:
Probably a bit late now though.
Still appreciated late than never.
Posted 05-05-2010 at 09:36 AM by Pilot

T-nex's Avatar
My mom once offered money for chores. I still hated them.
Posted 05-05-2010 at 10:36 AM by T-nex

OANST's Avatar
Not to be snobby, but five dollars is nothing to me. I spend more than that on cigarettes every day.
Posted 05-05-2010 at 11:10 AM by OANST

 

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