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1.01 Year Anniversary of Arachnid Awareness

Posted 10-02-2011 at 09:30 PM by Dixanadu

Did you join in 2011? Read up.

That was September 2010, this is now October 2011 and the Morgan household is once again under threat from the relentless horde that is the spider.

Saturday night:

Came into my room, turned my light on. Shut down computer. Turned around. Sacre bleu! A massive spider! I froze in terror, fetched my dad to do away with the wretched fiend.

Sunday morning:

I wake up to a moderate sized spider opposite my bed. Proceeded to crush him with my C&C3: KW game case after two minutes of panicking.

Sunday evening:

Same species wandering on the wall in the kitchen. Fuck him.

Knocked him on the floor. Dog feasted.

Two hours later, a MONSTER of a cunt. I had to wake my dad to deal with him. Huge ones are just scary. (JG called me a coward on FB. Like he would know).

Today; my room. A huge cunt on the corner of my wall. Awkward angle; crushed him with the thin side of my C&C: KW case. That case has saved me twice. I played it today in thanks.

Two hours ago. ANOTHER ONE. I alert T-nex once it has been disposed of. She disapproves somewhat.

I just killed another one. It was on my god-damn Xbox! I waited until it wandered on the dresser for me to finish it off.

So yes, a much more severe arachnid problem compared to last year. I suspect their nest is in my room, however after much re-arranging, I have found no evidence to think so.

But still, fuck them. I can't sleep without thinking another of the cunts would creep up. I had to seek solace in a big bottle of vodka kept for emergencies (twas given to me two days ago, I see a perfect opportunity to crack it open and drown out my eight-legged sorrows).

Now, I'm tired, bored, a tad tipsy and scared.

Also JG, it's impolite to fuck off when I try to speak to you on Facebook!

I will allow Pilot to post an appropriate Poop.

Comments 32

Total Comments 32

Comments

	I've come to welcome our spider overlords. They kill the much more annoying bugs. I keep a tight regime though, once they get past a certain size, time to die. Also, I would check your ears for eggs.
	Posted 10-02-2011 at 09:38 PM by Daxter King

	I think when you have a nest of spiders, they aren't so great to have afterall
	Posted 10-02-2011 at 09:55 PM by T-nex

	Bugs? In Ireland (North and South), we have no bugs. THE SPIDERS FUCKING ATE THEM ALL. Also, T-nex. Shouldn't you be like...sleeping?
	Posted 10-02-2011 at 10:06 PM by Dixanadu

	It's ok people, I'm not as much of an asshole as he made me out to be It was 5:58 when he messaged me and I was sleeping, my phone was on and still signed into Facebook.
	Posted 10-02-2011 at 11:02 PM by JennyGenesis

	I was sleeping.. but I had to wake up at 8 and get ready for internship work.
	Posted 10-02-2011 at 11:12 PM by T-nex

	Yes, me and JG are having a convo about sexual exploits with emotion thrown in. T-nex is at the bacon factory.
	Posted 10-02-2011 at 11:32 PM by Dixanadu

	Just to have a point of reference: how big was the largest spider? They probably don't pray on you as much as bedbugs would. Probably. Those things can really turn you into an insomniac nervous wreck if you're not careful and get rid of them ASAP.
	Posted 10-02-2011 at 11:55 PM by dripik

	A rough estimate from tip of abdomen to the point of it's....well, pointy legs: 4.3 inches.
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 12:28 AM by Dixanadu

	The spiders we get here are twice as big as that.
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 01:25 AM by enchilado

	And then we talked about people who are dicks and then you vanished
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 02:26 AM by JennyGenesis

	I did not vanish! I mentioned something about your dick-head possibly attractive friends then you left. Bitch.
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 02:35 AM by Dixanadu

	I was just referring to 1 guy, and if you got my message, it said "No he's minging,but I meant I like him in a friend way"
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 02:53 AM by JennyGenesis

	We'll discuss this at a more prudent moment.
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 04:20 AM by Dixanadu

	I feel ashamed I didn't console you on fb when I saw this. Talk to me baby.
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 05:05 AM by STM

	I like the big ones. They don't spin webs everywhere, deal with pests and are large enough to be "proper animals" instead of just bugs. Worst that can be said is that they leave their shed skins around. I don't like pholcids. They just take the piss.
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 05:56 AM by Bullet Magnet

	Members of the pholcidae are harmless and unthreatening. You're talking about harvestmen!
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 07:01 AM by Dixanadu

If you live in the UK it's irrational to fear spiders, since none of them are aggressive toward humans or have deadly bites (unless they're the false widow ones which can actually leave you with a bee-sting-like bite if you're careless - worryingly they've tried twice to take up residence in my kitchen, the bastards).

I really don't understand why people kill them here instead of just picking them up with a glass tumbler and chucking them outside - There's really nothing to be afraid of. Even the false window takes some provoking before it will bite you.

I will say though, my house has an infestation of these buggers but even though they're a little annoying, I don't have the heart to evict them until they overwhelm my ceiling or start leaving too many cobwebs.

Our largest spider is the house spider, which once held the world record for being the world's fastest spider, grows up to 6 cms across (some say they grow up to 10 cms but I've never seen one that large out of the hundreds I've come across) and spins thick funnel-like sheet webs in the corners of your room when you're not looking.

People are scared of them because they're so damned huge, and the males wander long distances to find mates, so are found crawling just about anywhere - Although they're gentle and pose absolutely no threat to humans.

Posted 10-03-2011 at 07:12 AM by DarkHoodness

Members of the pholcidae are harmless and unthreatening.

You're talking about harvestmen!

I like harvestmen. I don't see them very often and they're always interesting when I do. But pholcids are ugly and messy and everywhere. They're responsible for all my cobwebs and they're always lugging around great huge rasberry-like egg sacks, which are a very depressing sight. It means thousands more are on the way.

There are so many species, but we only ever see the very few that turn up in our homes. In the wild they are extraordinarily hard to find, and not because they are rare.

Posted 10-03-2011 at 08:47 AM by Bullet Magnet

	Fucking spiders, but what is the difference between pholcidae and harvestmen 'spider'?
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 09:40 AM by STM

	Spiders are harmless. Hornets are bastards.
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 03:19 PM by Mac Sirloin

	Spiders are harmless. You're a pussy, Dicks.
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 03:29 PM by Sekto Springs

Fucking spiders, but what is the difference between pholcidae and harvestmen 'spider'?

For starters, they belong to entirely different orders of arachnid. Familia Pholcidae in Ordo Aranaea (spiders) and harvestmen in Ordo Opiliones (harvestman). Just look at their pictures. The number and relative length and thickness of the legs are the only apparent similarities. There are important similarities too, but they're technical. The differences seem obvious to me.

For starters, they look different. The cephalothorax and abdomen of the harvestman are broadly joined so they look like one single structure, in spiders like the pholcids they are joined by a narrow waist, and pholcids have a horrid bean-shaped abdomen quite distinct from the cephalothorax. Their legs attach to their bodies differently. pholcid spiders have four or three pairs of eyes, harvestmen have only a single pair (or none in some cave species) that cannot form images, so their second pair of legs double as antennae. Spiders breath through book lungs in their abdomen, but harvestmen have only a trachea for gaseous exchange.

Many harvestmen are very gregarious, some species forming dense groups of 70,000 or more. But as we've all seen, the only time you see two pholcids together is when one is eating the other.

Spiders produce silk, and their chelicerae are hollow fangs capable of delivering venom. Harvestmen produce no silk, and their chelicerae look like crab claws, none are venomous. Spiders, like most arachnids, are only capable of consuming liquid food. Harvestmen are unusual in being able to eat solids too.

Their behaviours are entirely different, and the way they hold themselves and move are quite different when you see them. The only similarity here is a shared tendency to rapidly bob up and down to confuse predators (pholcids are also known as vibrating spiders).

Posted 10-03-2011 at 03:33 PM by Bullet Magnet

	Riveting. (That wasn't sarcasm btw!!) 70,000 harvestmen...I think I would kill myself if I saw that.
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 03:48 PM by STM

	That's good to know. I can get them.
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 03:56 PM by Bullet Magnet

	: Spiders are harmless. You're a pussy, Dicks. Why don't you come here and say that? I mean... literally here. Come to my country and I'll introduce you to some redbacks and funnelwebs.
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 04:56 PM by Nate

	No BM, nooooooo.
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 05:31 PM by STM

	When was the last time one of those killed anyone, Nate? The eighties?
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 06:09 PM by Bullet Magnet

	Doesn't mean they're not harmless. Just that we've managed to find ways to counteract their potential harm.
	Posted 10-03-2011 at 08:17 PM by Nate

	Australia is home to trillions of things that can kill you.
	Posted 10-04-2011 at 12:35 AM by Dixanadu


	Posted 10-04-2011 at 12:55 AM by enchilado Updated 10-04-2011 at 12:59 AM by enchilado

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