Depressed?

Getting a job tends to do the trick.

I don't have a car and public transport sucks. When I cycle I follow the rules of the road, but motorists think I shouldn't be on the roads, I have close calls each time I cycle a short distance, and after several incidents, I refuse to accept that anymore and have decided that my life isn't worth it. It's one of the few things that make me livid.

It's hard to find a job around here that I can actually get to, aside from that cash-in-hand weekend job I have for one day a week. But I know that if I really can't find anything I'll have to bite the bullet and risk my life each time. I want to avoid that if I can though.

In my experience, keeping busy and not thinking about why you're feeling like shit to begin with is a good way to stay positive. I know the feeling you're talking about and like you I also know the cause. Recently I've been thinking of talking to someone about it though because it can't really hurt and to be honest, I feel the need to talk to someone about it even though I don't want to admit it (even to myself).

But yeah, keep busy. Be it gaming, a hobby, a job, hanging out with friends. Just don't get caught alone in a boredom moment because those WILL catch you off guard and wreck you for a few hours if you let it.

The thing about that though is that it can go both ways - Sure, you can sink time into something to keep you distracted from your reality, but if that thing doesn't mean much, then you'll also end up feeling bad about sinking time into a pointless endeavour.

I guess that's why I spend a long time playing Minecraft and Warcraft, I just wish they were more meaningful, so I'm sad about that too... But they're so fun! Augh! Maybe I should look for something else that's both fun and means something, but I can't seem to find anything like that.

Talking to someone who'll listen to you about your problems is a good way to help come to terms with things - And if it doesn't do that then at least will get stuff off your chest. Doesn't make the problems go away and I'm still sad, but it does help me a little.

Um...

You can't fight depression with a stagnant lifestyle mixed with escapism. It's just a bad mix.

I've been diagnosed with 'severe' depression in the past year, but the problem had been around long before that. It just intensified after Zoe, and got to the point that I was self medicating/sabotaging and in a pretty bad downward spiral. Sleeping a lot, then not sleeping. Unable to focus, lackluster about life in general. Barely talking, even to Dorian. Zombie like. Finally Dorian, my mom, and those close to us had enough, and as a result I have started seeing a therapist once a month. It seemed like a waste of time and money to me at first, but then I realized that I could completely unload on/with her, tell her all of the things I was holding back from Dorian because I didn't want to drag Dorian down to the place I was. It helps, and it helps a lot.

All I've ever heard my friends say when I've needed an ear to bend or a shoulder to lean on [and I'm immediately apologetic afterwards] is "don't sweat it man, that's what friends are for". But you know what? Having someone who's outside of it all, who's totally impartial to your life, makes a tremendous fucking difference. So find a therapist. Seriously.

This is so stupid I can't even believe you're serious. At the same time, I was in the exact same place you were. I knew what the fuck was making me sad, and I knew that I was sad, so why go to a Doctor? But like you, I couldn't find closure. I tried everything I could, and nothing worked. So I fell into a slump, which is where you seem to be. The slump turned into a god damned canyon. Don't let it get that deep. Just go to a doctor, go to a therapist, whatever, but don't think that you can treat and beat this on your own. If you're willing to ask for the help/advice of strangers on a forum you rarely post on, what's the harm in going to a doctor? Quit being stubborn and do what's best.

Nice response there, DI. :P

Which was my point, but as always I suck at putting points across.

I know where you're coming from by suggesting that I seek professional psychiatric treatment, and I can understand how I'd probably benefit from that. However, since I can still function enough to get my important tasks done (even though it's damned hard) and don't feel suicidal, I simply don't feel it's justified - Nor do I really have enough money to throw at that.

I'm just a bit upset, enough to want to reach out to near strangers to talk about it in the hope that someone will suggest something that will help me medicate myself - but it's not like I'm unfamiliar with the people here, I may not post here often but I do watch what's going on and chip in occasionally, and thanks to the Minecraft multiplayer I've gotten to know a few of the people here a lot better.

Even merely posting here seemed to help me a little bit, so you're right about it helping when someone impartial to your life listens to your problems. Maybe I'll consider professional help if I find that I can't function at all anymore or worse, but for now I don't think it's that serious. Thanks for taking the time to read what I've said and write a long and well-constructed reply though, I appreciate it.

Erm, I was going to say about Minecraft but you brought it up yourself so this post will make more sense:

How long do you play computer games for a day and how close before bed? Very little activity mixed with the amount of stress you put on your eyes is very bad for establishing a strong sleeping pattern. You need to cut right down and if it's mixed with other games cut down on those too.

This is coming from experience, I played PC games way too much and I still do really but I've started exercising and biking and it really help because of the amount of energy it uses up. If you want to push it a little go on an energy expending holiday. In England there are so many fantastic spots you could go and visit like the Cotswold's, go with some friends or alone, and just walk, the sights are so magical and awe inspiring and you'll be burning more energy than you realise.

http://www.transportcafe.co.uk/engli...hire_plain.jpg

This is Shropshire, I'd love to go there and just set about walking!

You don't need to tell me that - When I was stuck alone in Germany after my first relationship failed back in '09 I cycled a total of 752 kms around the area where I was staying according to the odometer on the bike I borrowed, over the 3 months I was stuck there. It helped me a lot, even though even back then I sometimes stayed awake all night slept during the day due to depression, during a period of 2 weeks when I was entirely alone there.

The trouble with where I live is that I can't really do that here, since there is no cycling infrastructure - Gotta cycle on the roads to get anywhere and I end up having close calls with ignorant motorists, which makes me livid and not want to cycle. I would love to travel more but I don't really have anyone to do that with, and it sucks doing it alone.

In September I plan to go hiking with friends on the Isle of Skye for 2 weeks, and I'm very much looking forward to that.

I'm not unfamiliar with the feeling of slacking and procrastinating. Lately I started feeling that I need to do something meaningful (that is, constructive, intellectually and/or physically enriching, or helpful to others) in order to feel good about myself. I think getting into a new hobby is a good way to start - it brings a neat break from the monotony of your usual schedule.

Me, for instance, just recently entered a Russian beginner language course. I have no particular plans with it (yet), but I'm interested in the language and its seemingly difficult alphabet, and the course so far proved to be quite fun. There's a lot of work with it, but for some reason, every time I get home from these courses, the first thing I do is doing the assignments for the next occasion. As I said, it's a nice break to do something completely new and to get acquainted with new people along the way. Also, I found out that Russian vocabulary is quite similar to English, and also to my native language, which keeps it entertaining.

So yeah, in short, break with tiresome habits, get to know new things, improve your skillset.

It didn't get better for me until I broke from every part of my past except my daughter. I quit my job, moved to a city I'd never even been to, and completely cut myself off from my family. Probably too drastic for most people, but I was desperate.

OANST: Oh, I didn't know you quit your job. What are you doing now?

Similar to what I was doing before. However, my boss wants me to relocate to Indiana and run their office there, which pays twice what I'm making now. I've made no decisions as of this time.

The problem is that I can't relate to this because my family are all fine and nothing big has happened to effect it since my Grandad died about 13 years ago.

If your depression is really bad, you've got to talk to someone about it. Not nessassary a Doctor though.