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Fucks

Posted 03-25-2010 at 03:29 PM by OddjobAbe
Last night, some little shit attempted to vandalise my phone cable. I thought I heard something at about 12:30 when I went for a drink, but I assumed that it was just the house creaking. Funnily enough (and I didn't realise this at the time), the noises stopped after I turned on the kitchen light, so I wonder if they saw the light and ran off.

They had broken the clips holding the cable to the wall, and had clearly tried to yank the cable out of the wall. Either they're little vandals, or they thought that it was a burglar alarm. I've replaced the clips (mainly to spite the bastards that damaged the old clips), and I'm staying up for a bit. I hope that they come back so that I can catch the bastards. I suspect that they were just youths who were mental invalids, likely armed with nothing great, so if they return, I plan on chasing them out with the old chainsaw like a fucking nutter. I don't care how terrible that sounds, it'll scare the little shits off. I've set up a well-concealed video camera so that I can see who did it if I sleep through it and so that I have some record of their appearance. They make me fucking sick, the bleeding shithouses.
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Total Comments 15

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Wil's Avatar
Clearly I'm missing out on the Sheffield fun times.
Posted 03-25-2010 at 03:58 PM by Wil

enchilado's Avatar
Hack 'em up wit dat chainsaw Oddjob
Posted 03-25-2010 at 05:31 PM by enchilado

MA's Avatar
little shits. you can't even have a bloody wire on the wall of your own house without some bastard ripping it out for fun or something more serious.

i hope you do catch them, and i you do, i hope you scare the living shit out of them with your chainsaw. then maybe they won't try such a stupid stunt again.

as bad as it is, i'm glad i'm not the only one with these cunts to deal with in such similar circumstances.
Posted 03-25-2010 at 05:42 PM by MA

enchilado's Avatar
My uncle is a genius electrician. Or he was, he's retired now AFAIK. I don't mean to boast, but if an electrician anywhere in New Zealand had a customer he couldn't help, he'd refer them to my uncle, and he'd fix it.

Anyway, he used to rig up a lot of stuff around his house. I don't remember what he did about shitty little vandals - I'm sure there was something - but I remember there used to be a pesky cat that came round and did stuff, don't remember what. Anyway he set up a hose and a motion sensor, and when the cat came by, it got a jet of water full in the face.

I'm sure he had something to deal with kids stealing his fruit, but I don't remember what... anyway, you should get a motion-sensor, and as soon as anything approaches the house it sounds a police siren

Or, if not, at least turns some lights on. And your video camera will get a nice, fully light picture of the blighters. Oh, and electric fences around your property come on. Lights all around the walls, y'know? And a megaphone that says they're surrounded. Spotlights shining in their eyes. Realistic remote-controlled helicopters. Blaring lights. Soldiers. All that sort of stuff.
Posted 03-25-2010 at 07:36 PM by enchilado

OddjobAbe's Avatar
For a while, I've been considering trying to rig up a searchlight with this old WWII siren that I have (incredibly loud). I bet it'd scare the living shit out of folk.

As for the incident, from what I can see, they've not been back. I didn't expect them back really, but it would have been nice to catch them.
Posted 03-25-2010 at 11:51 PM by OddjobAbe

enchilado's Avatar
A fucking WWII siren? Shit, man, rig it up right now. Fuck yes.
Posted 03-26-2010 at 03:13 AM by enchilado

MA's Avatar
i'm fairly sure that siren would sell/auction for a lot.
Posted 03-26-2010 at 05:15 AM by MA

OddjobAbe's Avatar
I also have a little generator that I have been told spies would use - they'd clamp it to a table or something and twist it, and it'd generate electricity. I've got loads of stuff that I'm never going to use in my workshop. They're all staying with me, too.
Posted 03-26-2010 at 07:39 AM by OddjobAbe
Updated 03-26-2010 at 04:00 PM by OddjobAbe

shaman's Avatar
:
I plan on chasing them out with the old chainsaw like a fucking nutter.
That will teach them never to go into Mr MGreggor's garden...
Posted 03-26-2010 at 10:23 AM by shaman

MeechMunchie's Avatar
I approved of that.

If they do come back, make sure you have a witty one-liner ready. Like 'I saw you last night' or 'Chainged your mind about the cable?'
Posted 03-26-2010 at 10:57 AM by MeechMunchie
Updated 03-27-2010 at 06:15 AM by MeechMunchie

MA's Avatar
or 'get the fuck off my property' (rev chainsaw).
only joking.
Posted 03-26-2010 at 11:11 AM by MA

MeechMunchie's Avatar
GEET OFF MOI LAND
Posted 03-26-2010 at 12:38 PM by MeechMunchie

You are badass
Posted 03-26-2010 at 03:56 PM by AlienMagi

MA's Avatar
what about his brother? eh? that's like getting a bacon and egg sandwich and only commenting on the bacon. tsk.
Posted 03-27-2010 at 04:52 AM by MA

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
:
I also have a little generator that I have been told spies would use - they'd clamp it to a table or something and twist it, and it'd generate electricity. I've got loads of stuff that I'm never going to use in my workshop. They're all staying with me, too.
I want that. I want it a lot.
Posted 03-27-2010 at 10:39 AM by Mac Sirloin

 

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