Anyone who gets the above reference gets a sammich.
Anywho, I got fired. Two days before Christmas.
Why, you ask?
Because I had some sort of super-flu and a rather nasty IRI at the same time. I had a fever of 103.2 for ten hours straight. I was admitted to the hospital
where I fucking work[ed], and was there for almost two days.
The DON
* knew I was sick. The Administrator knew I was sick. They both came in to see how I was doing. Because of said illness, I missed a week and a half of work. It would have been more, but for fear of, yep, being fired, I came back even though the IRI was causing me to wheeze like some morbidly obese black woman in the midst of feeling the holy ghost on a sunday morning fried chicken fest.
This was early December. Something worth mentioning is that when I first started the job, I was late a lot. Not by hours, or even very many minutes. Just two minutes on day, three the next. It wasn't any every day thing, just often enough to earn me a write up. I chalked it up to new-job-jitters, and after the talking to I received, I hadn't been late.
Flash forward to two days before Christmas. I just got done pulling a double shift, and right when I was about to lay my weary head down for a solid five hours of sleep before I had to get up and do it all over again, my phone rings. It was the asshat administrator. He asks me if I can come in for a 'chat'. I oblige. I knock on his office door, and he motions for me to sit. He then hands me my last check, a notice of termination, and proceeds to explain that my nearly two weeks of absenteeism was totally unacceptable, and they had decided it was time we 'parted ways'.
He looked like he was waiting for me to beg for my job. I didn't. Instead, I said, "Merry fucking Christmas.", knocked over the stupid plastic Christmas tree he had in the corner, and blew a snot rocket the shade of dead grass onto his aquarium.
Have I looked for a new job yet? Fuck no.
*To avoid any stupid Mafia jokes, let's clarify that DON stands for Director of Nursing.
Am I moving to Washington State with my girlfriend in the next month or so? Fuck yes.
Also, we have a rabbit now. I'm not sure if I mentioned that or not. She's funny.
Her name is Floppy Puff Puff. In the last picture, she's licking my girlfriend's eye. Like I said, she's funny.
