I actually feel a little stupid at the moment. I had something planned for a while now - basically a news blog that puts a comedic skew on current stories trending across the media. It was going to be broadly political but now I just feel like I'll be copying OANST by releasing it, also I'll probably get lazy and give up after about a month like I did with my Tumblr blog which quickly fell into the mists of internet failure. Nevertheless, I'd like to share something I wrote and get people's opinions. Did it make you laugh? Was the concept and execution good? Was the writing style an accurate depiction of an unbiased news source? Etcetera, basically I'm whoring for some constructive criticism.
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North Korea steps up it's whining
North Korea is once again in the news today having recently increased the volume of its propagandist dribble targeted at the USA, Japan, the UN and Abba.
Tensions across the Korean Peninsula have once again escalated as the North has issued a statement suggesting it is currently in the process of, 'developing a giant rubber band with which it will be able to fire a baked beans tin filled with uranium at the West Coast of America.
On Monday, Lee Key Bum, a spokesperson for the Institute of East Asian Affairs, explained that the UN should not necessarily rule out the possibility of a pre-emptive North Korean strike against military bases in Guam and Japan.
"The Democratic People's Republic really has a big nuclear bomb and we can definitely hit America with it if we want. I swear on me mum. Why do the western pig-dogs keep ignoring our threats?"
Shortly after, Bum was rushed away from the press conference foaming at the mouth whilst yelling 'death to America' at the top of his voice.
swear on me mum
International coverage of the developments in the east are currently failing to report impartially on events, instead promoting blind fanaticism against the entire population of Asia that would make the Daily Mail cringe.
One headline sported briefly on the Fox News Network website said: "Kim Jong-Un threatens to 'destroy entire pranet with rery big bomb rat rill kill everyron'".
The UN imposed sanctions on the Hermit Kingdom on the 12th February restricting trade. Top economists at LSE have suggested that the North now has a GDP value estimated at around seven rice grains, a turnip and a boiler suit.
Kim Jong-Un personally issued a statement on the 25th March assuring the population that everything was fine and that he had recently acquired the ability to spontaneously create pizza from thin air from a vision sent to him by his father, Kim Jong-Il who is currently rotting on public display in the Pyongryangyangalangadangkumasan Mausoleum.
Currently, we are unsure as to what the North's next move is but hopefully they'll hurry up and do something stupid because there's fuck all going on in the rest of the world at the moment.
