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This Is Serious!

It may, in fact, make you delirious.
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Posted 10-27-2010 at 09:21 AM by OANST
Updated 10-27-2010 at 09:26 AM by OANST
I had to write an ad for roofing laborers yesterday, and it occurred to me that there just wasn't enough prose in ads calling for manual labor. So, I wrote an alternate. It goes thus:

Oh, tar! Oh, asphalt! Oh, labor of thine!
The nails they do pierce
And bent crooked thy spine

The rungs they do shiver
as laden you ascend
Day's heat beats upon thee
My nose you offend

Call Kevin at (###) ###-####
Comments 16 Email Blog Entry
Total Comments 16

Comments
Bullet Magnet's Avatar
Did they go for it?
Posted 10-27-2010 at 10:03 AM by Bullet Magnet

OANST's Avatar
Amazingly, they didn't think it would draw a big response.

Philistines.
Posted 10-27-2010 at 10:08 AM by OANST

Bullet Magnet's Avatar
People don't like new things. They like things they like already.
Posted 10-27-2010 at 11:18 AM by Bullet Magnet

Wings of Fire's Avatar
That's so cool.
Posted 10-27-2010 at 11:56 AM by Wings of Fire

Daxter King's Avatar
Too many big words for the general populace.
Posted 10-27-2010 at 12:20 PM by Daxter King

Ridg3's Avatar
(###) ###-####

I phoned this... no answer.
Posted 10-27-2010 at 02:41 PM by Ridg3

Nate's Avatar
Try writing your next one as a limerick.
Posted 10-27-2010 at 05:02 PM by Nate

used:)'s Avatar
No, a haiku.
Posted 10-27-2010 at 08:23 PM by used:)

Splat's Avatar
If you want a wonderful job
And you're not a chav or a yob
Dial numbers below
To give us a go
And you'll earn a couple of bob


Someone needs to do a Shakespearean Sonnet.
Posted 10-28-2010 at 12:48 AM by Splat

enchilado's Avatar
The steaming vats of tar and asphalt lie
there waiting for a worker resolute.
Nobody knows who he might be, that's why
You must call us to see if you might suit.

Now jobs are scarce, and wages mostly grim -
grab chances when you have the chance, my friend.
It's no more likely to be you than him,
so call us now, it is toward your end!

A pair of smelly armpits is not such
a price to pay compared to that you're paid.
Hard labour pays a grand old price, it's much
more than you'll make in any other trade.

So dial today - (###) ###
####, to make some serious cash.
Posted 10-28-2010 at 03:39 AM by enchilado

MeechMunchie's Avatar
Is your roof lacking oomph?
Are your tiles defiled?
We'll be down with our tools and a prize-winning smile!

We'll look after your rafters
We're great to your slate
Asphalt is easy, Our service? It's great!

Babershop Singing Roofers: (###) ###
####
Posted 10-28-2010 at 04:55 AM by MeechMunchie

OANST's Avatar
Enchilado's was great.

MeechMunchie didn't realize that it's supposed to be an ad to hire roofers, not get roofing work. God.
Posted 10-28-2010 at 06:18 AM by OANST

MeechMunchie's Avatar
Forgive me. I just don't care that much about your life.
Posted 10-28-2010 at 11:01 AM by MeechMunchie

OANST's Avatar
What do you care about?
Posted 10-28-2010 at 11:35 AM by OANST

MeechMunchie's Avatar
Pleasing the Dark Lord Satan.
Posted 10-28-2010 at 01:26 PM by MeechMunchie

Splat's Avatar
Ench, that was awesome; worthy of the bard himself.
Posted 10-28-2010 at 01:29 PM by Splat

 

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