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S'Peejay Dunkler part II: Girlfriend hater supreme
The second time I saw S'Peejay was earlier today, while I was hauling in some rotten books from the car that my mom recently deemed halfway-ownable (The books, not the car. I've jerkily and angrily humped that car before.) A chance glance out the front door after hearing some indistinct shouting revealed S'Peejay and a teenage white girl, anywhere from 16-18 (S'peejay is anywhere from 15 to 23. He's so fucking weird looking.) Girly Girlfriend was farting out of her mouth at my man Tha S'Peej about water quality and her wrapper skills (I think she was making fun of his 200% blackitude by playing a pun off of some candy bar she was throttling into her hobgoblin face). The main brain Dunkler took it in stride and simply responded by throwing his hands up into the air for a few seconds while giving her a horrific, wide eyed glare. She clammed up and his face split at his mouth to drench her in his pure truth: "I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU FUCKIN' SO MUCH! SPEZZA CAUSE YOU DON' GEDDIT. FUCKIN' HATE YOU!"
I was flabbergasted at the outrageous weirdness of it, and almost fall onto my ass in disbelief when he pulled a floral pink dog leash from his pocket and threw it onto the ground in front of her. She picked it up, held it for about half a minute, then burst into loud, honest tears. He put an arm on her shoulder, and in the most out of character, spastically weirdo-fucker utterance I've ever heard, dove into a Doctor Phil esque voice sampling and calmly, pleasantly told her he "really, truly hated her so much." And then he did that insane fucking run again and he was gone.
Unfortunately, I had left a milkshake on the front porch mere minutes before, so I decided to immediately venture out and retrieve it, and for the half of a fucking second that I couldn't see her through the leaves in a tree, she was gone. The crying cut short and she was just...not there.
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