I'm used to the hour long phone conversations my gran starts. But since she found out about my A levels she has decided to be especially blunt.

The very second i pick the phone up:

"You know Tom, science and the lord's work go together".

Er ... and hello to you.

The stove blew up today.

There i was minding my own business, when suddenly i hear my mum walk into the kitchen, then i hear the words.

"I think we have a problem here".

Of course this aroused my concern, but it was nothing compared to the audiable "WHOOSH" that came later and dozens of swears coming from the kitchen. I go out, the kitchen is full. of. smoke (as is the hallway) and a damp teatowel lies on the grill pan alongside a few blackened sausages,...

An All nighter is something i've been meaning to do for a while.

I now expect you to begin willing me onwards through these long, dark, cold hours.

Out! Out! For coffee!!

Oh btw, in other news the hotel seems to have abandoned my application.

Today's news.

So i go to ju jitsu, same old same old. Grading is coming up so i am particullarly zealous tonight. I have made friends with a new guy, a guy who happens to be built like a brick shit house.

So we finnish the warm - up exercise and the the instructor tells us to get into pairs - since this guy is quite good at jitsu (not to mention very friendly) we go together. I am...

Watch out everyone! Shaman might be employed!

I'm two references and a birth certificate away from working in banqueting at an inner city hotel!

More on this story as it develops.

Well well well, i thought i was totally fucked, but according to a foreign man who approached me and some friends today, we can be saved by Jesus

Yeah i was pretty skeptical at first, but according to this man His friends didn't heed his warning and are now in hell shouting:
"Help i've been here for TWO BILLION YEARS,(yes he did indeed say that) give me one second of peace"!!

It was all going swimmingly untill somone i know began thorwing almost unblockable...

Now i am only hours away from drsssing up in an ancient night - shirt, putting on make up and making my hair look as though i have been electrocuted.

The reason? My buggering friend succeeded in recruiting me into an amateur dramatic musical of "Dracula", where i shall play a maniac known as "Boris Renfeild", Who bursts into song at rather inappropriate moments whenever someone mentions the name of a place he's been.

Tomorrow i the first dress rehersal and the show...

Started chattering to me on the bus home from college about ten minutes ago.

We covered: Dustbins, tractors, farming and milkmen. In that order.

Oh how my life has taken a slow but steady decent into randomness

I am also sat on a chair!

How ironic...

Going camping.

Don't give the forums away in a raffle or anything while i'm gone.

See ya.