This will be an annual thing.

I will continually observe blogs to judge if they are 'sad'. Blogs that are in the literal sense, sad, will not be included. These will include:

1. A blog that explains the member's loss of a family member/friend/family pet
2. A blog that explains the member's depression or conflict of belief
3. A blog that explains a member's confusion with life, such as future undertakings or other shit, like sexual orientation.

So without further delay,...

I have learned of a disturbing fact this eve.

My dad is getting married to a woman who he has been on/off with in the past. However, he has changed (he literally fucking has, he cleaned my room top to bottom.)

Now... my dad is 54, said woman is 49, too old to get married is my considered argument. However, the woman has a child... who I absolutely fucking despise (Ridg3 can back me up on this... he threw him into a shop, I believe). If you believe, for a second, I would...

Wings of Fire and Dynamithix's birthdays were today. Four hours ago actually.

Such productive members deserved a birthday thread before I pulled it out of my destroyed anus.

Be ashamed of yourselves for forgetting this event, you cunts. Dyna and Wings birthday are on the same day, OMGWTF

Right fuck off, let me get drunk in peace.

If anyone doesn't know what the social fund is, it's a haven for the cunts of society to rob money from the government to fuel their disgusting habits.

Unfortunately, I was apart of this system for some time.

They sent me a letter saying, "Give us the £305.14 you owe us, or we'll throw your ass in court. You have two weeks kthnxbai."

Now, I have two weeks to gather gold while the count-down clock from 24 plays (with 4-split screens, each of which has...

Earlier, 'pon the 9pm-11pm rota (it's 5.07am as I write this), I decided to get drunk as a motherfucking shit yet again. This results in a five-day binge which is uncommon outside festivities (Halloween, Christmas etc...)

Anyway, I returned home not so long ago... as I walked up stairs (most of you are aware of my bone-deep hatred of arachnids) and I saw a spider on the wall, outside the bath room. Pumped full of alcohol, it has little limits on my fear factor so I literally fucking...

After receiving a recruitment package last week, and giving it some thought, I have followed guidelines and sent my application to the military.

Why?

Well, it sounds like a lot of fun. Plus, it'll give me things I so badly need. These include fitness (I have been recently pumping dumbells for a few weeks; I've noticed a change in my physique), social skills (I mostly say nothing. And when I do, it's some smart ass remark).

As you could imagine, my dad...

Did you join in 2011? Read up.

That was September 2010, this is now October 2011 and the Morgan household is once again under threat from the relentless horde that is the spider.

Saturday night:

Came into my room, turned my light on. Shut down computer. Turned around. Sacre bleu! A massive spider! I froze in terror, fetched my dad to do away with the wretched fiend.

Sunday morning:

I wake up to a moderate sized spider opposite...

Can we start another one or do they count as spam now?

And I mean start a thread, not do it on a blog.

So yeah, come on.

I had got up today, when I spoke to my dad, he asked me, "What were you doing early this morning?"

Well, I was sleeping naturally.

My dad had his friend over then, he was about to go upstairs, when he had witnessed me in my half-nakedness, on my hands and knees, blindly rummaging for something. He shouted to turn the light on, but I ignored him.

My brother came out of his room next and witnessed the event. After ten minutes of silent rummaging, I stood...

If anyone is remotely interested in watching Wimbledon... (even if not, do so just for this...)

The Russian doll, Sharapova, makes weird fucking noises each time she smacks the ball.

After weeks of doing it, no one has lampooned her for it.

Ever.

Go have a look. All I can hear right now is "UUUGHHH!!! UUUGGHGHH!!!! UUUUGGHHHH!!"