My computer's fried itself into an endless boot cycle, and while I was initially worried that I might have caused this by poking about inside a little too enthusiastically, it turns out that my former "£900 gaming pc" was unaccountably fitted with a
motherboard so unreliable they don't make them any more.
Sadly I was only able to find exactly
one (reliable) motherboard with both a compatible CPU socket and form factor (where the screws go in). Still, at least there's someone not...