So uni is pretty awesome really. I can sit in a room and play flute all day. I can justify going out to 4 hours of concerts last night. I'm finally doing what I've always wanted.

It's interesting. It's stressful. I have a really great teacher, and she started out giving me lots to do to push me, and see what I'm capable of. We were aiming for one study per week, but that's never happened. I had a bit of a technical issue, which basically meant that in the last few weeks I've had to...

Ok so things have been chugging along nicely with that girl, apart from the fact I haven't got her to commit to seeing me one-on-one for the last month. She's generally unresponsive, for example saying she'll check to see if I could come over today and never saying anything. So I kind of got a bit pissed off, and sent her a disgruntled message. I told her:

"I've been trying to get this happening for over a month and it's been like talking to a brick wall
If something's wrong...

:3

Didn't do it all as a shot like everyone wanted me to, but that would have been a bit much. It was easily more than a shot-glass worth. Maybe more like two, but maybe not.

Relaxing a bit more at parties. It's fun. Uni starts soon, so everything's pretty exciting right now.

Probably going to talk to that girl again too, because we're still kind of hanging out and stuff. She's probably going to say no but I don't even care anymore. We kind of left things...

Clocking in at #989 on Dinnerbone's "list of 1000 most popular minecraft skins..."



What do you know. I've never seen that one before.

Also it's 1am and I can't sleep. This is becoming more of a thing lately. Some nights it can take up to 2 hours for me to fall asleep. Even then I'm prone to waking up lots. Tonight I've just given up. I waste the whole day feeling...

I missed an "o".

Seriously wanting an AusC compiler that only accepts variables with the word cunt in them.

Not really.

So I went to a friend's house yesterday. We hung out, and watched 4 James Bond films. It was pretty cool. I ended up staying for around 12 hours.

The problem is that this fried is the girl from my past few blogs. The one that I'm totally crazy about. The one that I just can't get out of my head.

So the day I got back from Europe I went to an 18th for a while, because I'd promised I'd be there. The entire time I stayed (which was only around...

Ok, so quick catch up for anyone who missed my last 2 blogs:

Last time on Phylum's blog...
There's a girl at school that I'm crazy about. Things were all good, so I picked a nice time and told her how I felt (she actually kind of instigated the conversation). She said she had feelings for me, but also for another girl in our year. She agreed that we should go on a trial date, just to see how it goes. A few days later she said she probably couldn't take it seriously, and after...

I had my valedictory (posh graduation) tonight. I'm almost done with school. Today our year level gathered, and sat around for ages while everyone got pieces of paper, special awards and whatnot. It was heart-wrenching, tear-jerking and generally fantastic. We have a good year, even if I don't know most of the >100 kids. We all laughed together in the 2009 -> 2013 photos of everyone, and we all really enjoyed the night.

I spent most of the night sitting with This One Girl, whispering...

It was my 5 year anniversary here on Thursday.

I joined this place at the end of primary school. I was young, bright eyed and ready to take on the world. I had friends, career goals and the energy to be constantly pushing myself.

I'm typing this with 4.5 weeks of school lessons left, plus a few weeks of exams. Everything wrapping up. My university audition is on Tuesday next week, and I'm confident that I can play everything well for it.

I'm tired. Tired...

I can't handle things the way they are any more. School is too stressful. I've felt dreadful all week knowing how far behind I am after being unwell. I've been feeling sick again. I'm going back to the doctor again again again again tomorrow, but I doubt that will change anything. I'm starting to think this is all in my head. I'm starting to think this is all me.

Trying to stay close to my friends hurts right now. They're all I have, but none of them seem to care about me much. At...