For the first time in about a year, I'm actually feeling pretty happy. There are a couple things I think might have to do with it.

• I'm not drinking as much
• My religious confidence is fading
• I have a hobby other than masturbating and I'm actually not bad at it
• I'm going to be seeing my dad for the first time in seven years
• I'm not really giving fucks as much as I used to
• I upgraded to a smartphone
• I'm getting nosebleeds at work
• I made a sandwich

I don't know if things...

And this finally isn't a blog where I'm being depressed and mopey for no good reason.


This year started off really rough for me.

On the 1st, I managed to get really sick and panicky. A very high fever, extremely dry throat yet not thirsty, absolutely no willpower to eat, all of that.

But that ended pretty quickly, and I was feeling better by the next day. And you know what, I'm feeling good. Damn good. And I have no clue why.

A...

And I don't even remember most of it.

Well, most of the beginning. I'm pretty sure I remember a good amount of the ending.


...

So, some time ago, my mother came over to celebrate my birthday. Better late than never.

While she was here, she found three kittens outside, and managed to get them inside, since she's a bleeding heart animal lover. Don't get me wrong, I love animals too. I don't know what I'd do if some of my pets were hurt.

But for some reason, the cats outdoors always get a specific illness. I don't know what it is, though. For some reason, their eyes swell up, and then... Well,...

Took two of my pills. Laid in bed for two hours, couldn't sleep at all.

I shouldn't've done my real estate homework. I don't give a shit if it's do tomorrow, and it took an hour to do. I should've just gone to bed when I was tired. Now it's almost 5 AM and I have to be up soon to go to class.

I feel like I'm going to wake up and find out I'm the only person in this city. Like the town will just be covered in a fog, and I'll be forced to wander around, looking through...

Just as fine as she could be.

I leapt, I fell. Shit happens.

I'm human after all. Don't let me fall.

Fuck fear and all it entails. I've jumped off the proverbial cliff, now I've just got to either wait for the sudden stop, or hope for something soft to break my fall.

Stigmata martyrs, stigmata martyrs.

I once had an idea for an improv troupe named "Satyrical," where it'd be satire in the style of Greek comedies. But that's not at all related to what I wanted to talk about.

Long rant warning

Why am I incapable of letting go? Am I such a fucking wreck that I'm actually afraid of moving on?

Let me give you the skinny.
There was a girl I liked back in high school. We didn't really talk much. And...

But I'll never do anything I plan to do.

Just did a bit of weight lifting.

It's nothing much and it's probably not going to make a difference, but I felt like doing something.

Really looking forward to moving to the coast. Spent a four day weekend there last week. Loved it the entire time.

Took the tennis rackets up there so that me and my parents could play a bit. Wasn't expecting to play for long, and after a minute I realized that I had pretty much no skill with it, but I had fun throughout...