Rape Ape! Over 40 feet high!
Rape Ape! Just a little bit shy!
Rape Ape! What a super-strong guy!
It's great to rape apes!

I figure a First World Problems style blog is in order. This is a half rant/half call for assistance.

I have a PS3. It was originally my dad's, but he bequeathed it to me after realizing he only ever played it twice and I would get much better use out of it. For the brief time my dad had used it, he had set up his own user profile and PSN account.

Now, I've been playing on this PS3 for years completely unaware of the fact that I was playing everything on my dad's...

Too bad you're totally irrelevant now.

So some updates since my last depressing blog...

Last week mom swallowed her pride and drove down to the welfare office, which is located in one of those parts of town where you're liable to get shot in the face just for looking crossways. After a grueling hour in a filthy waiting room and plenty of paperwork, we managed to qualify for food stamps. Fifty bucks a week. That's for food only, no toiletries or other amenities.

We're not out of the woods yet, but this is...

So my serious blogs never really do too well on here (though arguably nobody's do), but I'm compelled to keep writing them. Not sure why. I guess just to ease some of the pressure on my buckling mental sluices, or maybe I secretly hope one of you buttholes will say something profound that rights all my wrongs. Either way, here it is.

My mom is miserable. Every day is a struggle for her and she frequently tells me that she does not want to live anymore.

These days...

Happy Christmas Columbus Day.

And a Happy New Year.

Folks who are subscribed to my Facebook feed may have already seen this story.

But for the rest of you...

Tonight at my night job (ice cream man), we had a customer that was completely fucking bent. He wandered in like a zombie, his coat on backwards and upside-down, his pants soaked with what I can only guess was urine, hair in his face, barely able to stand. If he wasn't so young, and his clothes weren't designer label, I would have assumed he was just another meandering...

How many fucks will be given on this day?