Crazy People That Happen To Me

I have come to the conclusion that I am a magnet for people who are completely insane. They don't always have actual contact with me but they do always end up in the same room as me (typically the bathroom).

A couple weeks ago I took my daughter to see "The Tale of Despereaux". During the film I came to the realization that I would soon be shitting my pants if I didn't get myself to a restroom with the quickness. I go to the bathroom and enter the last stall. I spend a few minutes cleaning the toilet and then begin to do my foul, slippery business. As I am so engaged another man enters and goes to the urinal next to my stall. He is close enough that I can see his feet.

As he begins to urinate he starts moaning in an ungodly manner. It is loud and it is fucking obscene. He does this the entire time. Finally, he finishes up and makes his way to the sink. As he washes his hands he feels the need to count in french. "Un, deux, trois, quatre" he says. He then returns to the urinal and flushes it again. He returns to the sink and begins his litany against whatever demons may be haunting him a second time. "Un, deux, trois, quatre". He goes back to the fucking urinal again!

He rinses and repeats approximately four more times as I just sit there in my own stench feeling very confused.