The last blog you expected

So I said something horrible, hateful and untrue to some guy because he kept making retarded jokes, vaguely directed at my mother.

To be precise I said "Well at least my mother doesn't live in (his country) and have to worry about radical (abrahamic religion) raping her to death."

What an awful thing to say.

All those 'egalitarian' posts, straight down the crapper. Not really. But straight down the crapper. Oh, woe.
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After a long stupid day at the wine store, I came home and talked to my mom about what was stressing me out. I talked myself down from 'pretending to quit' to fuck with a coworker who kind-of-but-not-really inconvenienced me, and logged onto the old facebook to chat with a buddy.

The last thing I expected was some pud whose first language isn't english to start making remarks (COMPLETELY unprompted) about my mother. I SNAPPED.
SNAP! LIKE THAT.

I went to this guy's profile, checked his last three posts. Boom, I know he's below middle management based on some memes he posted. Pow! He lives in a Muslim country. Zoop! His profile picture is a fucking donkey.

So commences an immense gridwork of despicable bitterness and pilot-lighted loathing at this character. This chump. How dare he. Where does he get off. Well I never.

"I never what?" I said.
"Duhhh..." I replied.
"Never...WHAT?" I insisted.
"Never got accused of not going far enough to be the meanest person in a telekinatic internet sky battle." I finished, and donned my meaty wizards cloak and stahlhelm.

So began an exchange neither unique nor interesting.

'Your mom' he said
'no, you're poor.' I retorted, retarded.
'well, you're mom again, but less clear and stupider this time.' He insinuated.
'Your language is mystifying and annoying. also, I don't finish hamburgers because I think saying I waste meat will piss off a vegetarian, which is what I perceive you to be. Furthermore, you have sex with donkeys.' I rampaged.
'well' he began 'americans are stupid, you american.' Sunglasses smiley face.
'which american?' I mince.
'you american.' He incorrectly asserted.
'I'm not american.' I indicated.
'americans are so IGNORANT to us INTELLIGENT FORIEGNERS(sp). ps im not accountable for my statements because I'm le tired ' -underslept donkeyman
'the fuck you aren't you little shit. cmere' - degenerate blogger

and so on. You saw what happened next above. Not my proudest moment.

Thanks for reading, pal.
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And now for part 2, two or three hours later.

So this progressed into an all-out flamewar where accusations of being a fat racist flew at me like angry bees.

Woah! I thought. I wasn't being racist! I was saying something horrible but I wasn't racisming!!!!!!!

The person I was arguing with had a name that was not Arab, to put it bluntly. It was south american. In my mind, this guy was some immigrant working in another country. A spooky...muslim country. So, I tried to be an asshole and scare him. The fact is, he probably WAS a Muslim, took one look at my statement and got pissed at the racist white guy heaving the argument into overdrive. Also I blocked him. lol I love doing that.

Anyway, this random woman called me out. BANG! "Mac Sirloin is a piece of shit." I have no idea who this woman is, and I never will. She was just fighting the good fight against racism, through facebook at midnight on a weekday.

Surprisingly...I didn't flip shit the way some of you might be thinking. I was calm, semi-polite. I was kind of befuddled and under the false impression that I could talk my way out. Fuck that noise, random strange woman was not having that shit. So she called me fat some more and I told her "I was doing this shit when I was 14 don't make the same mistakes." but she might have been some old broad, who knows.

All I know is this: don't join a facebook group just because it's an ironic pairing of the words 'dank' and 'meme' with something you're vaguely interested in. Shit WILL go down and you will get painted to be whatever ghoul people need you to be to get through another day.

Good riddance, and thanks for reading again champs. I'm distant but I do care about you guys.