I'm a bitter old man

Yeah just like Breaking Bad is a soap opera with meth.

Y'know Nep despite my many aggressive contrivances at your character, I really don't believe I know you all that well.

That being said I think I know how you feel, at least a little bit.

I found that I was in much the same boat as you a few years back. Listless but lazy, feeling creative but not as motivated as I'd like, feeling in so many ways that I'd become a bit of a curmudgeon despite my youth. And I was spiteful, very spiteful at many things that seem meaningless now.

The best support I can offer you as that eventually, you're just going to pick yourself up and make things better. You will, one day feel like 'enough is enough' and work to change some of the things that are affecting your happiness. I'm not going to tell you what those things are, because they're ultimately up to you, but I honestly think you're going to look back at feelings like this a few years into the future and appreciate the thoughtfulness it took to recognize something wasn't sitting right.

This is a bit of a contrivance itself, but go for a walk. Just let your legs carry you somewhere. Don't make any resolutions, don't presume to be starting or ending anything. Put some physical space between where you're feeling what you're feeling now and you, and see how you feel after you've returned.

I'm not the portrait of stability, geniality and raw, slutty sexuality you all think I am, but I know how to feel better when I'm in the slump, and I always start with a walk to the river and see where things take me from there. Don't jump in the river though. I lost a decent phone that way.

There aren't any rivers near where I live, but I guess I can take the dog out more often when I'm not being extra-lazy. Cheers, Mac.

Ok I said something to you today and said I wouldn't post, but you're sounding really similar to me so here goes. This is re therapy/medication/being who you are.

Last year I really just couldn't fucking cope. I was all over the place. It got to a point where one day I just couldn't go in to uni. I walked for a couple of hours, and sat in a park for a bit to write a note for my parents explaining what was going on in my head. It was probably the hardest thing I've ever done.

So the next day I went to my doctor. He put me on some meds and gave me the rest of the week off uni. It was a weird time on meds. I had similar concerns about being medicated and not being "me" any more. It's a problem lots of people have - it's a problem my dad's had being medicated for PTSD following being held up when he used to work in the bank. It's a consideration from the professionals, and the people around you. People still want you to be you, just a you who's better at life and coping with stuff.

For the first few weeks I was on something kind of strong, to see me through until the actual meds my doctor wanted me on kicked in. Those 2 weeks or so are a bit of a blur, I was really chilled out and a bit floaty. After that I felt a lot more grounded. Everything was the same, just... easier? Things weren't perfect, but I didn't feel hopelessly lost and like I was in such a shit hole that nothing could ever possibly be better again, to the point where my stomach would knot and I would roll around in bed all night feeling helpless. So eventually I ran out of those tablets, but the scary confusing daunting feeling of hopelessness didn't come back.

I still feel pretty shitty, because things are shitty with my health and complete void of a social life, but I don't feel hopeless about it any more.

My point is, if you don't want to go the therapy route (I know some people this has worked great for and some people it hasn't worked for at all), if things get too hard you can get drugged out as a temporary thing and you might just be able to sort some shit out in that time. It can be really hard to know where the line of needing help is, especially if you don't have people close to you that can notice, so if you think things get too bad then just say something to someone and get some help.

You're better off getting some help, or at least talking to someone, sooner rather than later. I wish I'd done it a year earlier at least. Everything just would have been so much better.

This might be bad advice. But you sound so much like me with this stuff that I feel like sharing my experience and thoughts might help. Chin up kid <3

Thanks man. I've been on antidepressants for a few months now and they upped the dosage after I OD'd on them, but I still don't feel any different. Or maybe I do and I just haven't noticed. I have mood dips maybe once every day where I just sort of can't cope. I walked out of college a couple of months ago, and I get a lot of shit for it but honestly I'm happier so that's a success imo.

I know what you mean though, now that I have something to look forward to, I don't feel hopeless, I just feel shit, and that's miles better. I really think the best option for me is to deal with it until I get out, and just keep taking these meds.
Cheers Phy, nice chatting with you.

My brother dropped out of sixth form for exactly the same reason. They pressure you to the point of stupidity. I hope that provides some relief from shitty feelings. <3

Yeah they really do, plus the course was dogshit, wasn't teaching me anything and I hated everybody there. Cheers fam

Sounds like my uni degree, minus all the people because it's remote. Edyucashun is for gays.

Nepsotic, is Sons of Anarchy your guilty pleasure?

No? It's just a pleasure (y)

The Hells Angels aren't pussies who keep talking.about their feelings!

I don't watch it for their feelings, I watch it for them shooting shit up and drowning people in baths of piss.

Yes, but they talk most of the time. Guess about what? Their feelings. Same thing for Game of Thrones, etc.

Yes, because believe it or not good characters have depth and a lot of time is devoted to development.

I think TV series of today are in fact soap for males.

No, WWE is a soap for men, and it's great.

Haha wwe haha John Cena haha meme

dank maymays

Nepsotic, have you finished Sons of Anarchy?

I'm on the final series