Descent

I know that feel. But, how can you feel apathetic towards everything yet also hate everything. That doesn't make sense.

I think this is the curse of Oddworld Forums. All of the adults (except Nate) seem to be a fucking mess. The last year and a half of my life has been a complete fuck fest while I just keep getting up every day and doing what I'm supposed to do in the hopes that things will get easier, but it has not so far. I guess what I'm saying is that I can't even begin to offer you advice, as my life is so fucked, you would be an idiot to follow any advice that I gave you.

I don't know, I think I'm just tired of everything.

And I'm sorry to hear that OANST. hmu if ever you feel like it.

Hey, I'm an adult too! At least the last time I checked.

Crashpunk is a pretty happy fellow too.

Nice song.

I'm technically not an adult and I'm already there. This place is cursed.

Everyone who doesn't live with their parents?

Fuck!

Can this be an actual thing though? Once you meet the criteria of moving out and reaching 18+ your life just goes to absolute shit.

You should all move in back to your parents or other relatives.

Pretty much. It fluctuates. You're still at the age where you remember being free to do whatever you want mostly, so you're in culture shock a bit right now, probably. I've just had an extremely hard couple of years.

Some things happened last year that I won't talk about, but then the wedding financially destroyed us. I thought I could handle getting it paid for, but I couldn't. Cars kept breaking down, business was bad, and then none of my family actually came to the wedding so we got a lot less money than expected. Filtering all my money to the wedding caused me to be late on my rent by a couple of weeks twice, which made my landlord decide to not renew our lease, no matter how much I tried to explain, and regardless of the fact that I was paid up. I got a big raise at work, and five days later the company downsized to the owner's basement, leaving me laid off. While I was searching for a new home. Two months before Brock was supposed to be born. For a good month and a half we were convinced that we would be living in a shelter with a newborn baby. Finally found someone willing to rent a house to someone who had only been with their current job for a very short period of time (We love the house. Much nicer and bigger than our previous house, so that was a good thing). More car troubles. New baby. Christmas. Still not back on our feet financially, but getting there, and now, yesterday, I got a report from a psychologist that has been testing Abbey for the past month that she has Asperger's, which is genetic, and since she is basically me when I was her age, I can be pretty sure that she got it from me. So, you know, between fits of crying because I managed to make my daughter's life really difficult just by being her father, I just go to work, and try, and try, and try.

I think I needed to get that out.

Nobody is happy and everything is on fire. Maybe civilization sin’t all it’s cracked up to be.

I don't understand that part. Do you have Asperger's? I can't say I've met you in real life, but you act completely normal to me.

Asperger's tends to even out in adulthood. Never having been diagnosed with it, I never considered it, but every criteria that they used to diagnose her with it was the same for me when I was her age. So, I don't know. Probably I have it.

Do you consider it might be like those situations, like when you google a disease or disorder and the symptoms look really similar to you, because they're too general to the point that almost everyone can identify with it?

I'm not prone to self diagnosing or hypochondria. No, I think it's probably accurate, and since my daughter and I both had the same symptoms it lends a bit more weight to the diagnosis in my mind, being a disorder that's passed on through genetics and all.

Edit: Which means that Brock will most likely be in the same boat.

I dunno. I don't feel very keen on the idea of genetical disorder that fixes itself over time.

And I was pretty antisocial (absent) as a kid. I don't think I had it, hell, I just was a kid, I just didn't care that much about others. As I am looking at wiki page of it, I bet there is a doctor who'd say I, and tons of other people I know, had the syndrome. This is weird and unreliable.

What I'm saying is, if she's acting like you were, and you're fine, she's fine.

Do I seem fine to you? I've tried to kill myself multiple times. I had to have Steph's family as my groomsmen because I have no friends. My family refuses to talk to me. I'm a fucking mess, but socially and mentally I'm probably better than I've ever been in my life.

I know when there is something wrong with my daughter. I'm not worried about myself. But I've known for years that she is struggling in ways that other kids don't have to struggle, and it's been heart breaking to watch.

My initial reaction was similar to yours. I looked for ways for it to not be true, but it's always been staring me in the face.

You seem pretty normal to me.

I wouldn't say people trying to kill themselves is an abnormal behavior. Not in modern society. I know literally tens of people who did try or seriously thought about it. Me too, both. It's an important lesson about knowing your limits, discovering your empathy to other people and the value of life itself. We're living like a neo-romantism, in romantism the most popular books had protagonists killing themselves. Some people don't need it, they just know they shouldn't kill themselves and stuff, and it's great that they know that! And, don't get me wrong, these thought are terrible and suicide is a terryfing concept and behavior. It's just that's not *really* uncommon. At least not where I live.

You have my empathy, but I think you should be cautious instead of worried. As far as I know, she's still quite young (she's like 12 now, ain't she?) and people develop at really various rates, including socially. Her current behavior doesn't have to mean anything about her future behavior.

I guess I'm an adult who doesn't live with their parents. Although I've been staying with them since Christmas - going back to my house in the city next week since I've been coasting for too long now. I've got a few issues, sure, but nothing as serious as you guys have. I've been unemployed since Christmas, which is a bit sucky, since work in my industry is irregular - particularly at a trainee level. But there's a pretty good chance I'll have work from July-December so I'm sort of just trying to figure out what to do in the meantime. With my parents I just lay about and help out if asked - take my younger brother to work and stuff. So getting back up to Belfast will force me to become an adult again.

Having no dependents and having a low cost of living really helps. So when I have to dole out £1000 on car repairs it isn't sinking me financially.

On one hand it's hard to relate to a lot of you guys since I've never experienced much beyond some general low mood or anxiety. But, you know, I sorta just hope things work out of the lot of you in the long run. My family is a bit of a fractured mess but it just left me a lot less sensitive I guess.

I mean 12 years ago I was visibly shaking watching Shaun of the Dead and now I can sit through like... the Descent, man! And hardly a peep!!

I live with my parents, have a pretty average job and great friends. But when it comes to the future. I have no idea what I'm doing. I have no plans or ideas. I just take life as it comes. Which I guess is a bad thing, but I'm not doing any harm yet so. Meh.

I am happy though. I don't have a real reason NOT to be really.

How about everyone stops telling OANST what to think about his daughter, as if they know more than the medical professionals who have actually met her? I think that might help.


I haven't got all of my shit together. But I lucked out to a great job and that makes everything else a fuckload smoother.


Incidentally, did STM delete the original body of this blog?

Yes I did. It was just a long pointless rant that I didn't want to have to look back on in later times.

I'm leaving this place then. The curse is real.

No Vexen don't go.

It's all your fault, guys! You just *had* to be so depressed.

Hope you feel bad about themselves now.

Oh wait. You do, that's the problem. In that case:

I hope you're happy about yourselves. No sarcasm here.

I'm confused.

Kurwa.

Nepsotic isn't the only goth around.

You must have seen those pictures of Brock that I posted on public forums wearing black lipstick.

Which one of you was wearing black lipstick?

It was me.