I am a Potato

Maybe that's an exaggeration. It's not like I can't get up and move around. I'm moving a lot better than I was a few weeks ago. I can make my bed without getting breathless, don't get stressed out about making a cup of tea etc. It's more that I'm struggling to do anything. I still can't manage sitting up all day. Walking is fucking exhausting. I've completely dropped uni for this semester now, and I really just wish I could walk for hours and hours every day. If I could I definitely would. I've been trying to work on my coding, and do some video editing, but my god it's so hard to focus and concentrate and actually get anything productive done. I've been scheduling my days, breaking them up into 20-30 minute chunks that I can actually digest, but it doesn't take much to push myself too far and basically knock myself out for the rest of the day. Even fucking around playing video games is too hard and stressful most of the time. Most days I get 1-2 productive hours. It feels dirty. I've never been this unproductive for so long before.

I've been stuck at home for the last 2 months. Leaving the house is a real experience. Very uncomfortable, unstable and can tire me out for a few days after. I wish I had space to invite people over, or the energy to clean up and make space. Nothing against my parents but for the last 3 years I've been stuck at home with them so fucking much it's getting pretty unbearable. I want to see my friends :c

But I have totally dropped uni now, as I said. Hopefully I'll start actually recovering soon. I know this will pass, but after 2 months it's starting to feel like an eternity. I just want to do things, feel productive. Fuck.