My grandma passed away

I haven't cried since it happened yet. I did a bit earlier today after I visited her and saw how she was. When I visited her in hospital last week she was her usual chirpy self, making smart comments and smirking to herself, and then the day before yesterday she was finding it a bit difficult to talk, and today she could barely manage to wheeze anything out. It was liver cancer. She tried to say something about three times and couldn't get halfway through the sentence. I still don't know what the rest of it would've been. If she even recognised me I don't think she was really happy to see me; she even told a few people she wanted them to go away, which upset them as much as you would expect. At least she has a huge family who all love her, though. The saddest thing was that all the people in the rooms around her were alone. I guess in the end all we can really do in life is try to have enough people who care that we aren't alone at the end. Not sure what I'll wear to the funeral. I don't own a suit or anything black.