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Everybody Poops

Posted 12-19-2014 at 04:00 AM by Phylum
Not everybody is interrupted in their poops by large, horrid spiders. Luckily I saw it before it could come over and inject me with painful poisonous venom. I have better things to do than vomit all night.

fig1. Spot the spider



fig2. Here's the cunt



fig3. Doesn't look half as big dead



The cunt was about as long as that 20c piece filly stretched out. That's about twice the length that this species should be. I see cunts like this every few months. If they weren't so terrifying I'd capture them and take them to the museum. For Science!

Basically I have a sub-species of super mutant spiders living in my house so if I start developing super agility and fighting crime you can probably fill in the blanks.
Posted in Random Crap, Crap
Comments 14 Email Blog Entry
Total Comments 14

Comments

Varrok's Avatar
It doesn't look like a rather big cunt. You're just being a huge pussy
Posted 12-19-2014 at 05:44 AM by Varrok

Phylum's Avatar
It's not a huge spider, but there fuckers are scarier to me than any hand-sized huntsman. These are the guys that hide in your blankets, your sheets and your clothes. The ones that sit and wait, and pack a painful bite with some other potential bonuses like nausea and vomiting. Apparently the skin necrosis is an urban myth, but it's still one of the worse spiders around. Redbacks, which are more poisonous and deadly, don't even bother me as much as these dudes because they have much more predictable nesting places and are less likely to be inside to begin with, and even then don't like to walk around all over the place and hide in things. Redbacks == under your chair, white-tips == in the shirt you're halfway through putting on.

Also I challenge any Aussies to honestly say they've seen 20c-sized white tips before.
Posted 12-19-2014 at 06:25 AM by Phylum

Varrok's Avatar
Isn't there any way to repel them away from the bathroom? Like some sort of air spray or something...

To be honest spiders aren't a problem in my country, like, at all. All I encounter in my house (including basement) are a few cellar spiders (I think, I'm no expert), and they are completely harmless
Posted 12-19-2014 at 07:00 AM by Varrok

OANST's Avatar
I admit that I get a little freaked out when I sleep on the floor in my office, since my office has the occasional giant fucking centipede problem. I'm usually too tired to care all that much, though.
Posted 12-19-2014 at 08:26 AM by OANST

Varrok's Avatar
That's a different story, centipedes are gross

Do you still work all day and all of the night, OANST?
Posted 12-19-2014 at 08:53 AM by Varrok

Crashpunk's Avatar
Fuck spiders

Posted 12-19-2014 at 09:20 AM by Crashpunk

Job McYossie's Avatar
There is only one really poisonous spider around my area, so stuff like this just never happens.
Posted 12-19-2014 at 09:37 AM by Job McYossie

Slog Bait's Avatar
I love spiders

We have similar problems with the sneaky venomous arachnids running around where I live, but they're scorpions instead of spiders. The tinier the more dangerous
Posted 12-19-2014 at 12:06 PM by Slog Bait

Renney77's Avatar
I thought it was impressive how the towel looks purple from a distance but when you closed in it actually was an orange towel!!!
Must be an optical illusion involving the light.
Posted 12-19-2014 at 12:38 PM by Renney77

Phylum's Avatar
Plot twist: the towel is blue. The orange was just some weird effect that came from zooming in. I would have taken a better macro shot, but that would have meant getting in closer to it.
Posted 12-19-2014 at 01:31 PM by Phylum

Jordan's Avatar
I can't cope with spiders in Britain and they aren't even dangerous
Posted 12-20-2014 at 02:36 AM by Jordan

OANST's Avatar
Varrok: Yeah, but not every day. I catch around an hour to an hour and a half of sleep on my office floor when I work midnights.
Posted 12-20-2014 at 09:04 AM by OANST

Varrok's Avatar
I still can't comprehend how it's possible to sleep so little. I'm basically zombie with less than 7 hours of sleep every night

Ontopic:
Posted 12-21-2014 at 01:36 AM by Varrok

:
white-tips == in the shirt you're halfway through putting on.
Once again the correct course is to never change your clothes
Posted 12-24-2014 at 10:52 PM by Nemo

 

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