Rate this Entry

I've had enough now.

Posted 05-16-2014 at 09:11 AM by Scrabaniac

This is a serious blog entry, and i'm on my last legs at the moment. I am underweight, i always have been and its my natural build to be skinny. I don't necessarily have TOO much of a problem with it because i would rather be underweight than overweight. What is really getting to me is the fact that every day of my life, i get strangers in the streets, at my college and even customers at work tell me how thin i am and how 'i should see a doctor' or 'you are an eyesore'.. Yes, i genuinely get these comments from people i do not know and it is extremely hurtful.

2 Years ago today my sister found me hanging from the top of the staircase in my house and she cut me down. That was a really rough patch for me and it haunts me every day, so when people make these comments i think back to what pushed me to wanting to commit suicide. I really don't want to go back to that state, it was not only devastating for me, but for my family too, and it hasn't been the first time i had tried to commit suicide. I used to try poisoning myself with tablet overdoses, i did drugs at a harsh point too.

Literally nothing lets me gain weight, and i not talking about muscle i'm talking about general fat. I can eat twice the recommended daily intake of calories and still nothing, it's just the way i'm destined to be. I'm just sick and tired of hearing the same comments over and over every day of my life.

Can anybody relate to this? Has anybody ever had someone stop them in the streets just to tell them they look gross? I hate the generation i am in. Rant over.

Comments 20

Total Comments 20

Comments

	I'm like, supersuperslim. I was actively trying to gain some fat and it's impossible. I stopped caring.
	Posted 05-16-2014 at 10:34 AM by Varrok

	You could try eating high protein foods and high carbs, you could also try and eat foods/ maintain an exercise regimen that slow down your metabolism Honestly, I came to the US weighing 150lbs at 6ft and over four months later I'm 158lbs, just get some southern cooking in your life. :P
	Posted 05-16-2014 at 11:32 AM by STM Updated 05-16-2014 at 11:35 AM by STM

Well I didn't really experience anything similar, but I'm guessing what you need is to stick to those who care about you and just try to psychologically train yourself to just "Block" out the hurtful opinions and comments from others, if you look at it more logically, if that was true, then people who care about you would also agree that you're ugly but I'm guessing they don't (Unless they don't care enough) so just stick to them and screw anyone else.

I know it must be tiring and annoying for you, if not saddening, but I get that you've been experiencing this for a long while now, it doesn't make sense to get hurt by something by the same amount the more you get used to it, of course it might still hurt the same, but you should try not to react the same, at least not on the inside, cuz you should think about the fact that if you've survived it before, you have the ability to survive it now, possibly dealing with it in a better way emotionally than before.

It helps to Vent to those close to you.

Good luck.

Posted 05-16-2014 at 11:41 AM by abe619

It sounds like you just have really high metabolism. Just like you. I'm super skinny and I cannot put on, or lose weight. But I don't have a problem with it. Like what you said, I'd rather be underweight then overweight.

As for these comments, Who are these people? Who just stops in the street to judge you. Where the fuck do you live?! I just don't understand it. Why someone would do that? It's sick to be honest.

...The talk of suicide is really painful to hear about. Someone I knew, Who was in my class for 5 years. Committed suicide about 3 years ago, it was really awful...

But the way I see it. Suicide is them winning. So you've just got to stop them getting to you. You just have to cancel the people out. No point of it getting to you if you can't do anything about it. I know what I said is easier said then done. But it is seriously the best thing to do.

And if it is high metabolism, you'll eventually fill out naturally.

By all means Vent. Venting is amazing.

Posted 05-16-2014 at 03:43 PM by Crashpunk

	^ What Crashpunk said.
	Posted 05-16-2014 at 05:18 PM by abe619

I've been insanely underweight since I was about 13 and the only way I've been able to gain any weight what so ever is through building up muscle. I've gotten similar comments on my physique. I've had people constantly assume I had an eating disorder or something similar, and it's like uhhh no I eat like a fucking pig.

SUCH IS THE WOES of an extremely high metabolism. You may want to get your thyroid and adrenal glands checked if you're ever worried about your health due to your weight, but otherwise if you're desperate to gain weight you're just going to need to maintain your diet (possibly try not to eat as much as you usually do because your body may respond by slowing your metabolism) and bulk up those muscles.

Also socially: fuck people. Seriously. They're all judgmental assholes who don't take a person's history into consideration. You'd probably still be getting fucked up comments even if you were the most average average can get. As long as you're comfortable in your skin, there's no point in giving a damn about what other people think of you.

Posted 05-16-2014 at 06:09 PM by Slog Bait

Updated 05-16-2014 at 06:12 PM by Slog Bait

	I can relate to this. Ive always been super skinny but ive never had any bad comments about it. I see it as an advantage because i can eat all the junk I want and not get fat. And given where I work, I get through a lot of pizza
	Posted 05-17-2014 at 02:13 AM by JennyGenesis

	Why would you take offense to people telling you that you're skinny? Are you skinny? Yes? Okay. So what is there to be offended about? Grow some fucking balls. Jesus Christ.
	Posted 05-17-2014 at 06:57 AM by OANST

	OANST: I think it was less about the 'too thin' and more about the 'Go see a doctor' and 'You're an eyesore'. The latter in particular is just plain stupid. I like seeing skinny people. Naked.
	Posted 05-17-2014 at 07:26 AM by Nate

Yeah, I'm still not understanding why he's so upset. If he's upset about his weight, and wants to change it, sure, okay, there are things that can be done, but it sucks to feel like you don't have control over your body. Not to the extent that he's saying, but okay. But to be this upset because of things that strangers say to him.... When I was power walking, trying to lose weight, I would have people yell at me from their cars that I look like a faggot. It was fairly common. I didn't care. Why would I? What possible reason could I have to care about what they have to say about me?

Posted 05-17-2014 at 07:36 AM by OANST

	It's different for different people. Some are affected by the slightest thing someone says, some couldn't give a shit. You can't really have a go at him for being upset about it when everyone's individual experiences are personal and specific to them, if you get me.
	Posted 05-17-2014 at 08:37 AM by Nepsotic

	Right. And what I'm saying is that he should knock that off. His problem isn't that he's underweight. His problem is that he's overly sensitive.
	Posted 05-17-2014 at 08:44 AM by OANST

	Yeah but that's like someone calling you a massive faggot for being scared of roofs. "Why are you being such a pussy? Grow some balls." You fell off that roof, they didn't, so how could they know what's going through your head?
	Posted 05-17-2014 at 09:14 AM by Nepsotic Updated 05-17-2014 at 09:18 AM by Nepsotic

	Perhaps he is overly sensitive. But telling him to "grow some balls" is essentially telling him the exact things that have made him upset. In other words, your not helping.
	Posted 05-17-2014 at 02:39 PM by Crashpunk

Thanks for the support and advice guys, It does actually help. Its hard for me because i have been an outcast since i was in primary (pre) school, and have been bullied since i first started school. I know its nothing i can help, i spend a good few years of my infant ages in hospital, and i think that has had an impact. I have managed to deal with the criticism and harassment better over the years, i used to get kicked out of school for pushing my thumbs into other guys throats and getting into fights and kicked out of supermarkets and shops where strangers come up to me and tell me i need to see a doctor about my problem, so i retaliated.. all that crap. I need to build up the courage to join a Gym because i have the potential to build mass, it's just the process of maintaining it when i have very little time to myself at the moment. Thanks again for the advice guys, I know i don't know you all very well and visa versa, but most of you seem genuine

Posted 05-18-2014 at 01:59 PM by Scrabaniac

	I'm glad you took it that way. That really is my strange way of being supportive. I don't think that validating your feelings on this would be helpful to you, because then you'll think that your extreme reaction to it is justified. You'll be happier once you realize that it isn't, and maybe, possibly look into anti-depressants, if you haven't already.
	Posted 05-19-2014 at 07:08 AM by OANST

Also, it wouldn't bother me if someone called me a massive faggot for being afraid of roofs. I just don't care what people think about me. I've been told that's a problem that I have, but I've never really looked at it that way.

And I'm only afraid of really steep roofs that don't have valleys for me to wedge myself into, and have old shingles. I'm not crazy about replicating that slide off the roof. That shit was scary.

Posted 05-19-2014 at 07:22 AM by OANST

	You're a massive faggot. massive in "fat" sense
	Posted 05-19-2014 at 08:41 AM by Varrok Updated 05-19-2014 at 08:49 AM by Varrok

	I'm not fat anymore! I'm also not as skinny as I was last year. Girlfriend feeds me too well, and I'm now back on the diet.
	Posted 05-19-2014 at 10:07 AM by OANST

	Fucking American food.
	Posted 05-19-2014 at 12:45 PM by STM

Recent Blog Entries by Scrabaniac

Video Game Music Update (04-11-2016)
Composing Game Music (02-15-2016)
Video Game Music (05-12-2015)
Freshers (07-29-2014)
*Sighs* (07-21-2014)


< > 2024
Su	Mo	Tu	We	Th	Fr	Sa
20	21	22	23	24	25	26
27	28	29	30	31	1	2
3	4	5	6	7	8	9
10	11	12	13	14	15	16
17	18	19	20	21	22	23
24	25	26	27	28	29	30