University

So uni is pretty awesome really. I can sit in a room and play flute all day. I can justify going out to 4 hours of concerts last night. I'm finally doing what I've always wanted.

It's interesting. It's stressful. I have a really great teacher, and she started out giving me lots to do to push me, and see what I'm capable of. We were aiming for one study per week, but that's never happened. I had a bit of a technical issue, which basically meant that in the last few weeks I've had to all but totally relearn how to play flute. It was a bit of a shock to the system.

So yeah it's been a stressful start to the year. It's seriously stressful. I feel like every time I finish practicing I could have done more. I feel like I should always be doing more. I booked a practice room from 8:30-9:30pm last night, in between concerts because I just couldn't justify wasting that much time.

The people are really nice. Really really nice. Too nice. It's superficial. Apart from one or two people, I haven't met anyone new that I get along with. I feel mismatched. The other week I helped some maths and engineering students build a 4m tall Sierpinski sponge to celebrate his birthday, and I felt more at home in those 30 minutes than I have in 5 weeks of music. I knew this would happen, but I didn't realise how bad I would feel. I kind of want to start going to maths barbecues and stuff, but I just don't have the time.

Also after 5 weeks I'm already at a point where it's hard to talk about things that aren't music. It's totally consumed my life already.

I'm kind of loving it and hating it all at once. It's weird. I don't know how to feel about it. It can't be healthy to feel this stressed, but I can't help it. I was underprepared for my flute lesson on Thursday, and I feel like that's going to happen again this week. I can't let myself down like that again.

We're expected to do at least 4 hours of practice per day, which can be pretty hard some days. When you have classes from 8:30 -> 2pm without a break, then don't get home until after 3 it's just impossible. I need a break in there somewhere, and half falling asleep on the train doesn't cut it. I also have other work that doesn't involve flute playing that's getting pretty heavily neglected at this point.

So yeah. Hahaha.

In conclusion, here's a funky cellist I saw on Saturday night. He's actually a really awesome guy, and put on one of the most entertaining shows I've ever seen.