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Britney Spears

Posted 02-17-2014 at 01:44 AM by Phylum

Ok so things have been chugging along nicely with that girl, apart from the fact I haven't got her to commit to seeing me one-on-one for the last month. She's generally unresponsive, for example saying she'll check to see if I could come over today and never saying anything. So I kind of got a bit pissed off, and sent her a disgruntled message. I told her:

"I've been trying to get this happening for over a month and it's been like talking to a brick wall
If something's wrong then tell me
If you don't want to see me then tell me to fuck off"

Which was actually pretty good. She responded saying she isn't well today, and is just generally crappy half the time. She also appologised twice in 4 lines.

She struggles with her health. I know that. I was a dick to get paranoid about her not wanting to see me. I appologised. She appologised. We decided that I would keep pestering her about it, and she would do more to let me know what was going on, even if it was to tell me that she wasn't well enough to do stuff.

So this is where it gets interesting. I recounted this to one of my friends, who asked if I followed her Tumblr. I don't have Tumblr, so she showed me an interesting post from about 5 minutes after she saw my angry message.

"I think I just fucked shit up
Really really bad
Entirely by accident
Because I can’t talk properly
Fuck"

So I kind of decided to go balls to the wall and send her a message telling her that I'm still crazy about her, and asking if she still feels something for me and wants to go on a date some time. Over Facebook. Again. Oops.

Also fun fact, all 3 times one of us has told the other about our feelings it has been over Facebook.

So yeah basically blogging to stop myself from staring intently at the Facebook message notification icon for the next small eternity.

Posted in Random Crap, Crappy Crap, Crap

Comments 34

Total Comments 34

Comments

	Message marked as seen 5 minutes ago...
	Posted 02-17-2014 at 02:15 AM by Phylum

	10 minutes, getting to the upper limit of "typing a long and thoughtful reply" :/
	Posted 02-17-2014 at 02:21 AM by Phylum

	20 minutes, life officially sucks.
	Posted 02-17-2014 at 02:29 AM by Phylum

	Yikes. The "message seen xxx ago" is a horrible feeling.
	Posted 02-17-2014 at 02:30 AM by Jordan

	I often read messages/emails but wait until the next day to type my reply. Don't stress overlymuch.
	Posted 02-17-2014 at 02:36 AM by Nate

	"I'm not sure" Well, at least I haven't done anything to put her off of me in the last 3 months?
	Posted 02-17-2014 at 02:37 AM by Phylum

We had almost exactly the same conversation as last time. One of the things she said was "I'm not sure if a relationship with me would be a good idea". I'm worried that she's doubting herself in some way. When I tried digging at that, she just said that she doesn't think she could do it.

I kind of want to push it more. I left it 3 months ago and we've both gone nowhere. Ugh. I don't know what I should do.

Posted 02-17-2014 at 02:50 AM by Phylum

	I pushed the conversation a bit more, and she just seems genuinely confused, but still unwilling to do anything. She said she's going to try and work thins out in her mind (with a smiley), so as much as I said that I would give up if she said no this time I think I'll stick with this for just a bit longer...
	Posted 02-17-2014 at 03:50 AM by Phylum

	It's ultimately your decision, but there's a certain point where an extreme degree of uncertainty becomes an effective "no". Which is to say, if she's that freaked out by the concept of a relationship with you, it's probably not a good idea - even if she did eventually decide to give things a go.
	Posted 02-17-2014 at 05:27 AM by MeechMunchie

	You have to stop doing this if you want to have any chance with her. You are not helping your chances.
	Posted 02-17-2014 at 07:46 AM by OANST

	I'm no romantic expert, but the more you push it, especially with her being so uncertain, the more likely you are to push her away and even potentially lose her as a friend. Be careful. Be patient.
	Posted 02-17-2014 at 09:42 AM by Slog Bait

Maybe everyone else is just trying to be nice and save your feelings being hurt, but to save you a lot more anxiety I'm going to come out and suggest that by now, your chances are probably shot. It sounds like your passing the line between curious and creepy and I'm sure you don't want that.

I agree with OANST that you should stop, not so that you might still have a chance at a relationship with her but just so you can stay friends with her.

Posted 02-17-2014 at 10:36 AM by STM

	By push it I meant in that conversation. I'm not going to bring it up again. The ball is definitely in her court. She will probably do nothing with it.
	Posted 02-17-2014 at 01:56 PM by Phylum

	Are you willing to endure that?
	Posted 02-17-2014 at 05:02 PM by Slog Bait

	I think it's about time to give up on her. Believe me, I've tried several times changing people's minds about me. It never works. No matter how clear it is to me that we'd make a great couple, no matter how well I'm able to express it... once people make up their minds, it's pretty much impossible to change it.
	Posted 02-17-2014 at 06:35 PM by Nate

	Oh, I'm not going to try and change her mind. I guess I'm kind of giving up on it, it's just while she wants to leave it a bit in the air I'm going to have a hard time getting it off my mind. I'm starting uni on the 3rd of March. It'll be good to meet some new people.
	Posted 02-17-2014 at 09:19 PM by Phylum

	Wow. People are way too complicated for me. Or maybe just Phylum.
	Posted 02-17-2014 at 09:57 PM by Bullet Magnet

	Uni will help you a lot. The constant flow of new people will take your mind off it, even just a little. I know it's hard as hell right now but you have to make the effort to try and break away from her and the idea of a romantic relationship with her.
	Posted 02-17-2014 at 11:08 PM by Jordan

	: Wow. People are way too complicated for me. Or maybe just Phylum. The complexity of people is what drives me insane on a day to day basis
	Posted 02-17-2014 at 11:13 PM by Slog Bait

	Might I recommend Video games
	Posted 02-18-2014 at 12:25 AM by MeechMunchie

	Or y'know... being Single? It's worked for me. cries
	Posted 02-18-2014 at 10:37 AM by Crashpunk

Phylum, you're obsessive. I say that as a person who obviously experienced similar feelings of obsession. It's not healthy, and seeing as you have never really had a romantic relationship with this person, as opposed to my reaction to losing an eleven year one, I'd say that you need to seek psychiatric help, and medication. I'm not saying this to be a dick. I'm saying it because I understand how hard it is to let go of an idea once it starts to take over. You need to deal with this.

Posted 02-18-2014 at 10:47 AM by OANST

Oanst, it is impossible to get rid of the real feeling unless you are an insensible pudge. All the medication biases our neurosystem. It is better to avoid it, as they work as signal-weakers, signal-blockers. Psychological help is obsolete, as nowadays minds differ too much.

If you try to get over it, then the only way is to erase her from your environment. Delete her on Facebook, destroy her fotos, start avoiding thoughts about her. Getting socialized with new people shall only push you more into depression, as every new sensation is a little stress.

Finally, you must be 100% sure, that she is not into you. If your crush is THAT powerful, then there is a chance, as some chemistry attracts people.

Posted 02-18-2014 at 12:16 PM by gishygleb

Updated 02-18-2014 at 12:18 PM by gishygleb

	Oh look, Gish is a doctor now. And a good one at that. He said sarcastically.
	Posted 02-18-2014 at 12:27 PM by STM

	Think as you wish. That was plain speech.
	Posted 02-18-2014 at 12:28 PM by gishygleb

	: Finally, you must be 100% sure, that she is not into you. If your crush is THAT powerful, then there is a chance, as some chemistry attracts people. woah woah woah. you can't change someone's feelings for you, despite how much you may like them. it doesn't work like that.
	Posted 02-18-2014 at 01:34 PM by Jordan

Gonna be blunt here. From what I'm reading I get the idea she's not at all into you. Between not responding to your texts in a timely manner and saying she's not sure about dating you, it seems to me she's just trying not to offend you. Girls tend to do that a lot. If you choose to believe in such a thing, you're deep in the friendzone with no hope of getting out. If you're halfway begging her to date you then you know you're done for. It's not gonna happen.

You went balls in, asked her point blank to date you and her response was 'not sure'. That might as well be a no. Get over her and move on. If she does have some form of feelings for you you'll know soon enough once you back off a bit.

Posted 02-18-2014 at 02:47 PM by Havoc

	Cram it, you insensible pudge.
	Posted 02-18-2014 at 02:56 PM by MeechMunchie

	Woooh, Havoc you said something relevant and important! Are you feeling well?
	Posted 02-18-2014 at 07:02 PM by STM

Jordan, dear, I meant, there may be a chance, that she likes him back.

Getting over someone is painful. That is not as simple as it is said. And with that type of a person she is he would never know something unless he acts.

If you are friendzoned, then it is not the end. But you have to be cruel. Immediately escape her friendzone and start ignoring her in many ways. Start showing, that you are distant. Later, when some time passes, something may come up. But, really, escape that bitchzone, it is even more painful to be able to have someone loved near and not to be able to love them.

Suffering may fade away when the time passes.

Posted 02-18-2014 at 08:30 PM by gishygleb

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