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Bad things happen... Sigh

Posted 06-10-2008 at 03:03 AM by T-nex

Yea... I dunno if I'm gonna be alot on owf alot more... Well maybe in these few days but otherwise I'll be gone on vacation for about
1½ month.

Anyway it's not that important, just some little news for any of you who care.

Another thing is.. I don't know why I'm sharing these here.. but I'm growing quite desperate. I tried talking to several people from my family and friends but none of them help.
This will probably lead to nowhere too.
But anyway here goes(A little note to all of you who don't like reading personal and slightly sexual things... its gonna contain this)... Sometimes I'm too naive and trust people out of a good heart. And sometimes that backfires... Well.. at least it did this time.

I know a guy from the education I'm at. We were really open to each other(only in a friend way.. to me anyway). We met a few times before and just did fun stuff together. he knew I have a bf, and that Im not interested in anything but friendship.
Anyway I helped him with something at his home. And since its summer here, it's quite light outside even when it's late. So at some point he tells me that its past 11(which meant that my last bus home had taken off), and suggested I spend the night there(blah blah, you can sense where this is going, right?).
Anyway as stupid as I am, I agreed. Normally I would take a cab home, but I was in need of my money and also I felt I could trust him.
So all goes well, we just carry on as normal and go to sleep....
THen at 5 am I wake up and feel his hands roaming everywhere they shouldn't roam. All my private parts and inside too... And went on like that for quite some time. me of course going into panic I pretend to sleep, as I have no idea how to react. I was too afraid to just yell at him to stop and fuck off. So later as some time he stopped, I "woke" up or pretended to, and wanted to go home. He kept chatting me up as normal though so at some point I just said screw it and left. And he kept following me, pretending not to know what happened.

So yea, it might not seem like a big thing to you guys... but I feel extremely violated... On the other hand I feel happy and lucky that It didn't end up worse. That he didn't do anything worse.
But still ever since I just feel like crying, scratching my skin off and hurting random people.

So does any of you guys have any advice please... maybe BM or something. I dunno.
But I seriously feel so sad all the time now. All I want is to trust people... But I'm feeling that openness is closing. but I don't wanna lose my trust.
Also, I'm sorry for burdening all of you with this sob-story. It doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Worse things happen to other people, right? But it really shocked me, and I can't get the event out of my hand. I'm starting to hate everything, and I don't want to.

So if any of you have any tips to share about forgetting this and getting over it, please share.

Comments 24

Total Comments 24

Comments

Confront him. He really, really needs to learn that what he did is wrong.

Personally, I'd also go to the police in order to really smack the lesson home. If that's not your style, you have to confront him. Take some friends along with you so that you're not alone. But he has to be told that it's not right otherwise he may do it again.

Also, if you let this slide and don't do anything about it, all that's going to happen is that you'll feel like shite. You'll be punishing yourself when it's him that did something wrong.

Posted 06-10-2008 at 03:23 AM by Nate

I would go to the police but I cant ... He'd probably use the fact that I'm so open against me... These things are shady, but it would probably also seem like its nothing too serious for them.

See I don't know if i should confront him or just pretend he's air. People tell me to ignore him totally and that he doesnt deserve my attention anymore. Which is true. But on the other hand I want to tell him what a perv he is and that he should seek counseling or something. I'm just really bad at confronting people though.

Posted 06-10-2008 at 03:29 AM by T-nex

	He was fondling you in your sleep. That's non-consentual sex. So it's up to you. But what Nate said is best - either confront him or go to the police. Alcar...
	Posted 06-10-2008 at 03:49 AM by Alcar

	Go with what Alcar or Nate said, or go all Hard Candy on his ass.
	Posted 06-10-2008 at 04:13 AM by Mac Sirloin

	What about both... x_x
	Posted 06-10-2008 at 04:24 AM by T-nex

	How about you warn him not to do it again, or you'll take action. If he's really your friend he'd be at least willing to respect your body and not take advantage of it.
	Posted 06-10-2008 at 05:03 AM by used:) Updated 06-10-2008 at 05:06 AM by used:)

	I don't know what do here. I feel sorry for you though. Go with Nate's idea. Or you could punch him in the face Marion-style
	Posted 06-10-2008 at 05:04 AM by Oddey

	Either you confront him or you just enjoy being molested the rest of your life. If you can't stand up for yourself no one else will.
	Posted 06-10-2008 at 05:52 AM by Venks

I gotta agree with what everyone else is saying. Don't feel bad because you feel that it wouldn't of happened if you weren't open to him, but how were you to know? It's not your fault.

If you trust your other friends too, tell them. You were taken advantage of - He violated you and disregarded your trust and respect. It is a big thing and it's not normally what guys do.

But yeah, stand up for yourself. Police are stupid and don't give a crap, so I wouldn't bother with them. Do what Nate said - Tell this dude that you know what he did, and then stop being friends with him even if he apologises, 'cause I wouldn't trust him again after this if I were you. If he really cares about his friends that much, that alone should teach him that what he did was wrong, at least.

Yay for being half-awake. :P But yeah, sorry to hear about what happened to you, and you have my sympathy too.

Posted 06-10-2008 at 06:35 AM by DarkHoodness

Either you confront him or you just enjoy being molested the rest of your life. If you can't stand up for yourself no one else will.

...You could of worded that a tad better, bu that's just me.

Anyways, I've been through something similar, and even if you have no proof whatsoever, they'll still listen and look around for evidence (In Scotland, anyways). Just DON'T blame yourself, as others said, you gave no consent and he violated your trust. Tell someone you trust, I suppose...Good luck.

Posted 06-10-2008 at 07:55 AM by Zozo the Zrilufet

Deja vu.

Confront him, tell him what he did was wrong, tell him you can't be his friend anymore and have at least one friend you implicitly trust there or close by for moral and physical assistance. If he makes any trouble go straight to the police and get his touchy feely ass where it belongs. He cannot use your openness against you, that would not hold up in court.

As for the whole crisis of faith don't worry over duly about it, some people in this world are nice and some are cunts. Although staying over at a mans house for the night is always a bit risky it should not be a problem unless the person in question is a sack of shit, turns out he was, you now have the power to try and stop him doing the same to anyone else in your position. Whether you use that power is up to you but I wish you luck regardless

Getting betrayed by someone you trust does hurt though, I am empathetic towards you cause as I have been a party in a situation very similar (READ: Practically identical) to this. All you can do is what you believe is right, but at the very least I go with the flow and advise confrontation.

Also take my advice and try not to get into a compromising situation again without a good friend there to support you.

Posted 06-10-2008 at 07:55 AM by Wings of Fire

" Getting betrayed by someone you trust does hurt though."

True... Seems to happen more often than not... But for some reason my naive trust stays. No idea why. So I've begun having a conscious voice telling me to be careful, as I just trust people by nature.
Maybe it's cos I'm so afraid of hurting people. Part of the reason I stayed was because I wouldn't want him to just feel rejected n stuff. Now it doesn't matter though.

Anyway thanks for the advice, I'm sure that I can and will use it.

Posted 06-10-2008 at 08:03 AM by T-nex

	I've had the same situation happen to me three times, T-nex, shush yo' mouth nigga jesus! Alcar...
	Posted 06-10-2008 at 09:15 AM by Alcar

	sigh What the fuck was going through that wankstain on the face of humanity's mind as he did it? I have the deepest sympathy for you T-Nex
	Posted 06-10-2008 at 09:17 AM by Laser

	Holy fuck! Call the cops! Don't let that weirdo get away! He'll just to that to someone else! =O
	Posted 06-10-2008 at 12:21 PM by Moosh da Outlaw

	Sadly there's no proof so the police can't do shit. Just keep your distance from him, let him know that you know what he was doing. Maybe not bluntly, but just cut him out of your life. Otherwise he might think he's gotten away with it. Ugh. Poor T-nex.
	Posted 06-10-2008 at 12:52 PM by Hobo

	My avatar makes everything better btw
	Posted 06-10-2008 at 12:52 PM by Hobo

	The funny thing is, if I found out that this happened to someone close to me, I'd go absolutetely batshit insane and cut his fingers open, pull the meat and bones out, spit in it, piss on it and wipe my ass with it for that septic wound tingle.
	Posted 06-10-2008 at 02:09 PM by Mac Sirloin

	Don't worry, Nikki. This was a terrible thing that happened, everyone would be as frustrated and angry as you are now if this happened to them. But this doesn't mean there aren't people out there you can trust. You know who I'm talking about...
	Posted 06-10-2008 at 06:18 PM by used:)

	I'm sorry I can't offer any advice, and I don't really know you, but that's really sad and makes me sad hugs for you (>'.')> I'd be your friend. I've been in a similar situation, I have pretty big problems with trust and generally interacting with people, and it's really bad when you feel like you've got nobody. I can't offer much other than sympathy, but I really do feel for you :/
	Posted 06-11-2008 at 12:59 AM by Leto

	Get revenge, that's what I did. Break their motherfucking hearts. Alcar...
	Posted 06-11-2008 at 04:34 AM by Alcar

	Cuddles Kick him in his private parts. He was illegal and naughty. - Rexy
	Posted 06-11-2008 at 06:21 AM by Rex Tirano

	Even if you don't end up convicting him in court or whatever, you'd still be listened to and the police would still try and ask around for witnesses/interrogation. Even if he doesn't get proven guilty, it could still be used as evidence if say, he does it again and gets reported.
	Posted 06-12-2008 at 11:17 AM by Zozo the Zrilufet

	Hm... Well I really dont like too many people knowing what happened... Im afraid unnecessary people will hear about this. But thanks everyone for all of your support. You have no idea how good it makes me feel.
	Posted 06-12-2008 at 02:27 PM by T-nex

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