Blogs
 


  Oddworld Forums > Blogs > Imperialism At Its Finest
Fucking Relationships


This Is Serious!

It may, in fact, make you delirious.
Rate this Entry

Fucking Relationships

Posted 08-23-2013 at 06:29 AM by OANST
are pretty great. Almost all of the problems with our relationship that I went over in the last blog have been ironed out. Stephanie, and I keep finding ways to fix the problems that inevitably arise when two alpha personalities spend a lot of time together, and we keep fixing them in a way where we can understand each other, and keep them from coming up again.

We've decided to start house hunting, and I can't wait. I'm going to come home every day to the most beautiful person I've ever known in my life, and that makes me unbelievably happy. I loved April because of the life we had with our child, and how happy it made me to be part of a family. I love Stephanie because I love Stephanie, and no bipolar disorder, or ptsd on my part could make me feel less for her.

Now, let's start the stress of finding a house.
Comments 48 Email Blog Entry
Total Comments 48

Comments
Mac Sirloin's Avatar
Man it feels weird to be linking some smelly old man to Planned Parenthood, but have you considered Depo Provera, you inhuman trash? It could even be free depending on your/her insurance, you cheap jewy fuck. It's supposed to be incredibly effective at preventing demonic ape men like yourself from spraying your fungus-like semen everywhere to gestate and produce unanticipated offspring. despite being for women and thus ruining this incredible bundle of completely honest, no holds barred simile/analogy.
As a minor aside, congratulations on the relationship milestone and happy house hunting, shitler.

E: Well I sure took a great big shit on that discussion. sorry guys
Posted 08-23-2013 at 12:58 PM by Mac Sirloin
Updated 08-23-2013 at 01:08 PM by Mac Sirloin

MA's Avatar
good luck with the house hunting!

:
I PUSH HARDER!
HHEEEEEEEEEEEGH
Posted 08-23-2013 at 01:07 PM by MA

Jordan's Avatar
:
Goddamn, but I'm good at being mean. I PUSH HARDER!
so is that how you're getting those sperm in there? just push extra hard and force them in?
Posted 08-23-2013 at 01:27 PM by Jordan

Slog Bait's Avatar
When OANST has sex it's like one of those hentais where somehow the dick makes it past the cervix
Posted 08-23-2013 at 01:37 PM by Slog Bait

STM's Avatar
If you can't see your dick pressing against the stomach walls, it ain't deep enough.
Posted 08-23-2013 at 01:43 PM by STM

MA's Avatar
STM knows. he has a cervix.
Posted 08-23-2013 at 02:08 PM by MA

STM's Avatar
I've taken many a foot long in my time.
Posted 08-23-2013 at 02:12 PM by STM

Nate's Avatar
After your emoness on Facebook the other day, I was sure this was going to be a break-up blog.

I'm glad it isn't.
Posted 08-23-2013 at 05:23 PM by Nate

Bullet Magnet's Avatar
:
I really feel like the methods of birth control aren't nearly as reliable as they're stated to be.
They're pretty reliable when used properly. They aren't very often. In fact, "perfect use" and "actual use" are two different statistics, and "actual use" includes those times when people don't use them at all.
Posted 08-24-2013 at 11:21 AM by Bullet Magnet

MeechMunchie's Avatar
Yeah, everyone knows condoms have to be nailed to the side of your hut to be effective.
Posted 08-24-2013 at 12:14 PM by MeechMunchie

Bullet Magnet's Avatar
See? This is why MeechMunchie has never got pregnant.
Posted 08-24-2013 at 09:47 PM by Bullet Magnet

Slog Bait's Avatar
I'm proud of MM for knowing how to properly use birth control.
Posted 08-24-2013 at 09:55 PM by Slog Bait

Nate's Avatar
:
Yeah, everyone knows condoms have to be nailed to the side of your hut to be effective.
Yeah, that's true. On seeing a condom nailed to a wall, every woman I know would turn heel and go home. No chance of procreation there!
Posted 08-25-2013 at 02:15 AM by Nate

OANST's Avatar
NOT PREGNANT! That's a relief. She took a test yesterday, and got her period today. Happy happy.
Posted 08-26-2013 at 08:16 AM by OANST

STM's Avatar
Not yet. But as long as you have a penis, there's always a chance.

Your best bet is to lop it off with a little kitchen knife.
Posted 08-26-2013 at 09:55 AM by STM

OANST's Avatar
Can't I just use the nail clippers?
Posted 08-26-2013 at 11:08 AM by OANST

STM's Avatar
No, you want a clean cut. If you use the nail clippers you'll get a 'U' shaped one.
Posted 08-26-2013 at 12:27 PM by STM

OANST's Avatar
Damn. Makes sense.
Posted 08-26-2013 at 02:55 PM by OANST

 
1 2

Recent Blog Entries by OANST





 
 
- Oddworld Forums - -