Change
Posted 07-18-2013 at 03:45 AM by Phylum
Updated 01-15-2014 at 04:16 PM by Phylum
I can't handle things the way they are any more. School is too stressful. I've felt dreadful all week knowing how far behind I am after being unwell. I've been feeling sick again. I'm going back to the doctor again again again again tomorrow, but I doubt that will change anything. I'm starting to think this is all in my head. I'm starting to think this is all me.
Trying to stay close to my friends hurts right now. They're all I have, but none of them seem to care about me much. At the end of the day I'm sad and lonely. All day, every day. Sometimes even when I'm with my friends I feel dejected. It's not worth the effort right now.
Music is good. Music is the only thing that makes me happy. Everything else is getting in the way of that right now. I need everything else to be good at music. I don't know what to do.
I want to hurt someone. I want someone to feel as bad as I do. I want to scream and yell. I want to bury myself away and never face any of this again. I'm scared of how I feel.
I need help, but I don't know where to get it. I need change.