I am incredibly ill
WARNING BLOG MAY CONTAIN GROSSOUT
So for the past five months now I've had this nasty chronic gut condition. Basically, I feel fine throughout the day and then I eat dinner. What happens next amounts to about five hours worth of pain and suffering with sprinkles of nausea and occasional diarrhea.
I've been to the doctor pretty much every week during this time, and besides 'Oh it's IBS', there's not much they co do in the way of heping me about it. I've tried just about every medication there is and none of them do anything. I'm pretty much at the end of my tether.
Also I shit blood. Like, a lot. Most of the time it's fresh blood, meaning my poop is irritating the skin that badly, but sometimes it's dry black blood. That terrifies me.
I've finally finally finally got an appointment for a full endoscopy this Saturday, and if they don't manage to find anything with that (I've had all manners of blood, urine and fecal tests) I just don't know what I'm going to do. It's bad enough this happening while I'm out of work, but what happens when I find a job? It's not like I can go on the sick either, as I have no medical evidence to prove I'm ill.
Also I'm really fed up of every new doctor I see smiling at me like I'm a retard and saying 'Do you think you might have IBS?' As if that actually means anything!
It gets worse (Though thankfully less gross) though.
A couple of weeks ago, I was snapping my fingers to the rhythm of music as I am wont to do, and then suddenly something just stung and I couldn't move the middle two fingers on my right hand in the ways I'd took for granted. Before long, both of my hands were suffering from this uncomfortable tight gripping feeling in my wrists, and they keep periodically tingling and sometimes going numb. I have paperwork to book an appointment to see if I've got carpal tunnel syndrome, but that's a terrifying thought. I'm 23. Who gets CTS on both hands at age 23?
So yeah. I'm ill, perpetually tired because I never get enough sleep, hungry because all I can eat for dinner without really wanting to throw up anymore is bread/toast and I can't really play any games or type at speed without being in pain.
Fuck my life.
