Jerry the Mouth

I'd like to apologise, I know I already have a blog on the top 5 list, but I had to post this before I forget about it, it's fucking genius. Also, thanks for my birthday thread, you arseholes. I've made at least 4 birthday threads in the past and I don't even get the favour returned? It's on the 17th. REMEMBER NEXT TIME.

The Terrifying Tale of Jerry the Mouth

One day, Jerry-Davies Hertfordshire woke up in his bed to find that his front door key was missing. Not being able to leave his house, he decided to eat some food. Soon, he had no food left. This had severe repercussions, as when he became hungry again, he couldn't eat anything because he had already eaten it.
Deciding that survival was more important than anything, he began to eat his own legs. He pulled them into his mouth with his hands, and that filled him up for a bit. Soon though, he became hungry again and, having no other choice, ate his own arms.
After this, due to only being a torso and head, he was at eye-level with the underneath of his couch, where upon he discovered his front door key had been all along.
It was too late now, though, as he had no limbs to pick it up with. After not being able to put it off any longer, he ate his body and was now just a head.
He screamed and screamed for help but nobody came to his aid, so when he was a bit peckish he had no choice other than to eat his head. He used his tongue to pull his head into his mouth, and was full again. He licked his lips before realising that, due to being nothing but a mouth, he was able to fit through his letterbox and escape his house.

They say that he will never be full again, due to having no stomach because he ate it, so he wanders the world, riding on the back of his dog, Truffle, searching for people to eat, but never being satisfied. Soon, he will come to you, too!