Happy Birthday, Bart Simpson

Happy Birthday message!

Bart Simpson will always be relevant.

You're right, and that's exactly the problem with The Simpsons. It has to keep changing it's history to remain relevant, and the characters get lost in the process. Bart is a shell of his former self, who no longer remembers the very generation he helped define. Springfield is a self-renewing Ouroboros that manipulates the very reality and memories of it's denizens to maintain it's relevancy.

Does the most recent iteration of Marge and Homer's backstory still have that love triangle with the Jewish guy?

If you're talking about Artie Ziff, I couldn't say. I think the most recent one has them meeting in the early 90's.

I don't have a problem with The Simpsons maintaining topicality, but why completely change it's continuity? They're so out of ideas for new episodes that they've disowned earlier seasons just so they can make the same episodes over again.

That's so weird.

What about Disco Stu? Did he age up or his gimmick now incoherent?

I think they've downplayed the inclusion of Disco Stu. Or maybe they haven't, and it is totally incoherent. I couldn't say since I've only seen a handful of episodes since I stopped watching like four years ago. They were all pretty bad.

Did you see the one where they completely reinvented Homer and Marge's meeting story, and had it so they actually met during the grunge movement of the 90's?

That was something. I know The Simpsons had been shit for a least a solid few years before that, but goddamn that was a new low.

I remember when those sorts of flashbacks were in black and white.

Yeah, that's what happened. I knew it was something stupid like that.

But you have to admit, there were some real winners in the last few seasons. Like the one where Homer and Marge bond over the popular sport of curling. Boy howdy, they'll never top that one! Nothing's more exciting than curling, except perhaps philately, or maybe decoupaging.

Everyone's gonna be tuning in for the decoupaging episode. You'll see. You'll all see.

So... Bart's 43 now, right?

It was his fake id. This blog is based on a LIE!

I really don't care about the continuity of The Simpsons. What I care about is how clever and funny it is. Or was. There are now more seasons of consolidated shit than there were top notch television.

Oh well.

Probably misses his old glasses.

Bart was born in the early-mid 80's if you're going by the Homer and Marge's original meeting story.

early 2000's if you go by the most recent iteration of their meeting story.

Bit of a gap there.

Yeah, looking for continuity in The Simpsons is one of the most ridiculous things ever.

Looking for continuity in your mom's vagina is ridiculous. It's just so all over the place.

My mother is dead. You killed her when you started analyzing Simpsons canon.

Monster.

I'm... I'm sorry.

We need more episodes about Groundskeeper Willie. He's the best character in the whole damn show.

BORT