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Attention Fuckheads and Nerds

Posted 01-30-2013 at 11:39 AM by Mac Sirloin
Updated 01-30-2013 at 11:44 AM by Mac Sirloin

Stop playing fucking video games. What are you, nineteen? Twenty five? Enough already. Get an education, focus on friends. Read more. When you have a skill that makes you set for life, or a bunch of lottery money or a trust fund then you can pick that controller back up.

But why? You ask

Because it's childish and obscene and a complete waste of your time. Why don't you focus on bettering yourself a little more, young men? Why not get out into that sunlight and finish reading an author's entire body of work. Or take up painting.

But NO! The gamer heaves and haws
Gaming has subtlety and merit and is art

Of course, but the same way dubstep is a shitty medium for shitty people to act shitty in clubs or on kitchen tables, videogames are just an externalized plastic box that you trasnmuted your feelings of wonder into. They're a chimera of smut, flashing lights and exquisitely designed figures that provoke a sense of uniqueness among a people so similar and self-sabotogingly boring that they can only label themselves in the broadest sense of what they share: Gamer. A title taken from people who used to share these same types of experiences in dimly lit rooms creating their own stories, their own adeventures, now catalogued and sold more expensively than a Hollywood film. Spend sixty, seventy dollars to punch a man over and over until you're the ULTIMATE man puncher.

I'm getting off track. What I need to be is more pretentious and critical of the single peer-group I've loathsomely shared for my time here on this planet.


There is no value communicable through the video game medium. No moral message or subtext, just the bluntly stated or needlessly convoluted concepts of WAR IS BAD and LOVE IS GOOD and TEAMWORK IS THE ANSWER, DUH! Emotionally manipulative caricatures of real things are all that seem to get through to the gamer, amid catastrophic damage to the eyeballs and higher faculties, an ape bred to read but swindled into pattern recognition and mashing buttons constantly reminding itself 'This is worthwhile, this is what I am good at.' It's not mind control or some conspiracy to render mankind a bunch of catatonic boymen, it's just the natural intelligence slope having 7 billion of us creates. 'Why bother finishing or developing that unbelievably imaginative idea I had? Better play that thing I've played a trillion times before in some other form.'

Decadent little nobodies devalue their loved ones and possessions seeking that perfect digital fix that by and large cannot exist. I have an uncle who believes if we could start teaching dogs to cook their own food we would see a massive uptake in canine intelligence and understanding of stupid rotten humans Hmm, I wonder if the same works on us, if brain-putrefying ramen and TV dinners really do make you a stupid lazy piece of flab because you can't contain your attention span long enough to assemble a meal for yourself with no parental intervention.

But fear not, because there are ponies and film and the skeleton of the former drug culture and supercomputer rendered music to envelop yourself in and scream "I'M UNIQUE! NOBODY'S LIKE ME!" from the shadows of your cloned home full of cloned furniture, fueled by cloned foods. The truth is nobody will miss you, nobody cares and nobody wants to care.


You make me sick and angry and only expelling the poisonous contents of my raging hateboner will make me feel even a little better. Get some sunlight, stop watching let's plays, get out.
Total Comments 91

Comments

Varrok's Avatar
I think you've got a small rock in your shoe
Posted 01-30-2013 at 11:50 AM by Varrok

Sekto Springs's Avatar
I agree with everything you said.
Next.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 11:55 AM by Sekto Springs

Varrok's Avatar
:
A title taken from people who used to share these same types of experiences in dimly lit rooms creating their own stories, their own adeventures, now catalogued and sold more expensively than a Hollywood film. Spend sixty, seventy dollars to punch a man over and over until you're the ULTIMATE man puncher.
What about indie games, or games like Dear Esther?
Posted 01-30-2013 at 12:02 PM by Varrok

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
Indie games are either convoluted wastes of time and energy or emotionally manipulative wastes of time and energy, they're samey garbage that pretend to carry meaning when your time would genuinely be better spent reading actual poetry or finding a way to express yourself. I would say they are worse than the tangled spectacle of most games because the creators convince themselves that somewhere in the code there is heart and soul but really it's just the same thing we've seen a hundred times before, but with pastel shading.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 12:05 PM by Mac Sirloin

I played a video game once and it was terrible
Posted 01-30-2013 at 12:11 PM by Nemo

Varrok's Avatar
You're saying that it would be better if they wrote a shitty book instead of a shitty game? Is the form (and by 'form' I mean the type of media they use) really that important over the content? I agree there are loads and loads and loads and LOADS of crappy games. But still, I wouldn't call 'gaming' as a whole a waste of time, I'm pretty certain there exist some pearls.

It's not like the most books nowadays aren't just a pile of shit. They are. The same goes for music... why didn't you say: "Dubstep is shallow and has no deeper meaning, pop is made for money ergo don't listen to music"?
Posted 01-30-2013 at 12:20 PM by Varrok

Daxter King's Avatar
I'm not entirely sure if this is satire or if you're being genuine. If it's the latter, I'll agree that more people should spend time creating things instead of taking things in without creating at all, but that's a brush that strokes much larger than just over video games. Secondly, even though I hold this idea, expecting it constantly is absolutely absurd. Everyone deserves a hobby or leisure activity that they enjoy. Video games are just as fine as reading poems, both can inspire and neither make you a better person necessarily, but you might get a ride on an imaginary high horse after doing one of those activities.

Also games are in a very infantile state as a medium, to expect the same out of them as written word, or fuck even movies, is fucking ridiculous.

If you're not serious then whatever.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 12:23 PM by Daxter King

Varrok's Avatar
I took it seriously, but my foreignness justifies my satire detection problems
Posted 01-30-2013 at 12:26 PM by Varrok

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
I'm saying it would be better if we eliminated this accursed waste of time altogether and focused on something more worthwhile. A leisure activity it is, but just as indulgent and masturbatory as UFC is to closet homos Gaming has turned into an escape route for people who never grew up past high school. They spend the rest of their lives brutalizing fantasy bullies and savin' the world while collectively reaching the mental singularity of FULL SPECTRUM AUTISM. Instead of moving out of the hobby and finding a path they just coast and never clear the mental hurdle leading into adulthood, wherein if they did and then returned to the hobby would appreciate how valueless and wasteful it is.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 12:40 PM by Mac Sirloin

Varrok's Avatar
So this should be pointed rather to strictly commercial book/music/film/game readers/listeners/watchers/players than to every gamer. It feels like you chose the wrong subject to hate, it should be directed to designers, who are often too stupid to think of something original, and not to the media itself
Posted 01-30-2013 at 12:52 PM by Varrok

Daxter King's Avatar
So, you're either saying all people who play games are what you just described? Because that isn't true. And if it were true, it doesn't sound like they would have much potential to create the wonderful things you are demanding of them in the first place. You act as if no one can just play games on down time and be a productive member of society as well.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 12:56 PM by Daxter King

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
The problem is that the medium encourages this behaviour. It breeds laziness and social ineptitude just as much as television. It's impersonal, in your face and overstimulating to the point where you get burned out and can't function properly without bringing it up amongst people who don't care about it. It's an addiction, fed into by cellphones and dependence on computer technology in day to day living. It is literally addicting as hell and regardless of how you moderate it, there is nothing to be gained from video games that isn't directly related to video games in some other way.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 01:20 PM by Mac Sirloin

Varrok's Avatar
:
The problem is that the medium encourages this behaviour
Which medium doesn't? Name it.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 01:25 PM by Varrok

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
Reading. Riding a bicycle. Driving. Drawing. Small engine repair. Skydiving. Jogging. Amateur Architecture. Welding. These things can be shared. You can have a book club or a commune of artsy people that functions. You cannot have a group of people who play videogames as their hobby and function outside of that antisocial comfort zone. It just doesn't make sense. Not to mention how miserable these types can be if you really try and apply some socializing to them. You can have a pretentious painter within a social group who is haughty and proud of her work but ultimately can't deny that there are better painters, but try and explain that some loser's video game idea is trite and rife with convoluted bullshit that has been done before. It's the same zealotry that ruins everything else, but now the zealots are so unrefined, so completely dedicated to their medium, they can't form an argument about it that doesn't involve games already being acceptable and not completely useless.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 01:30 PM by Mac Sirloin
Updated 01-30-2013 at 01:36 PM by Mac Sirloin

Daxter King's Avatar
Satire confirmed by this sentence, no one can actually believe this:

:
You cannot have a group of people who play videogames as their hobby and function outside of that antisocial comfort zone.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 01:36 PM by Daxter King

Varrok's Avatar
You're denying that books like the Twilight (which I believe is shit, but I haven't read it, so I might be wrong [unlikely]) aren't popular as hell and without any special marketing? Also, riding a bicycle itself is a shitty form of art without any deeper meaning. Also, it's winter now.

:
You cannot have a group of people who play videogames as their hobby and function outside of that antisocial comfort zone. It just doesn't make sense.
You think so? ...why? No, I believe it's not true. The fact that some antisocial gaming groups exist doesn't and never will mean that every group must be like that. I'd use OWF as an example If I didn't know how messed up some of you are (and I'm pretty sure it's not because of Oddworld or video games in general. At all)
Posted 01-30-2013 at 01:38 PM by Varrok
Updated 01-30-2013 at 01:40 PM by Varrok

Ridg3's Avatar
I think that playing games can be a good stress reliever, but that's not the reason I play them.

Which means that I agree with Mac to a certain degree. Games can, and there's plenty of examples, make a person lazy. But there are people, who are actually very avid "gamers," who work, have social lives, are studying, keeping fit or maybe all at once.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 01:43 PM by Ridg3
Updated 01-30-2013 at 01:49 PM by Ridg3

Daxter King's Avatar
You play them because you're an antisocial fuckwit that will never generate anything of merit while extending your childhood far past the point it was supposed to end.

Clearly.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 01:47 PM by Daxter King

Ridg3's Avatar
On the contrary, I'm using games as a medium to mend some broken contacts with my mates at the minute.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 01:51 PM by Ridg3

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
You absolutely can. Take that peer group that depends on the vivid light from their television and place them somewhere that likely doesn't involve any form of gaming and you completely disrupt the addiction. If the end result of their night isn't 'Go home and play games' or the possibility that their routine is going to be disrupted they become truculent, antisocial, rejecting everything that doesn't mean they get to go home and be alone in their hole. Daxter is half right, but you're presuming I'm speaking about your group or directly referencing your cycles of socialising instead of concluding that there is a horrible majority of miserable inbetweeners who want nothing less than sitting alone watching let's plays of Dark Souls and Amnesia until they eventually rot away. The majority of people who play mainstream video games are
Unfriendly
Negative
Not Goal-focused
Typically lazy
Incapable of rending a meal from raw materials
wear bad clothing.

Varrok cites antisocial gaming groups, when I'm saying that the hobby itself is massively antisocial and bad for your grip on reality. Is the idea that this is truly a complete waste of your time really so alien? Don't you think that all that violence and horribleness isn't just going through your eyes and disapating in your brain, but gestating there, brewing those negative thoughts and lazy habits? Maybe there was a point where video games could have been used as well-needed tool of relaxation but ultimately they are a massive waste of time and energy that most people can't relate to.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 01:53 PM by Mac Sirloin

Wings of Fire's Avatar
The fuck
Posted 01-30-2013 at 02:30 PM by Wings of Fire

Slog Bait's Avatar
Hoaoahahahehehwahahaho fuck off, buddy.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 02:46 PM by Slog Bait

MeechMunchie's Avatar
I disagree with almost everything in this blog.

I believe the essence of life to be variety. Someone can play as many games as they like, they just ought to alternate it with other hobbies. You get people who do nothing but sit inside with books all day.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 02:58 PM by MeechMunchie
Updated 01-30-2013 at 03:00 PM by MeechMunchie

Mr. Bungle's Avatar
I hardly play games at all these days. Just a bit of Binding of Isaac every now and then.

Also this seems slightly hypocritical. I mean, I'm pretty sure you game as hard as most of the people here, based on your posting frequency in the gaming subforum.

Also are you on mushrooms or something?
Posted 01-30-2013 at 03:33 PM by Mr. Bungle

Nepsotic's Avatar
Wow, everything you wrote in this blog hurt me way more than it should have.

And now that I think about it, you're right.
What am I? A 14 year old faggot who wants to fuck ponies, listen to shit music and make shit music. Sitting inside all day with no friends playing on Portal 2, over and over again, the same thing all the time. This is all of us, we don't mean nothing, and we're all made out of shit, we're not special, we aren't unique, we're nothing, and you know what? I don't care, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 03:51 PM by Nepsotic

Mr. Bungle's Avatar
You're taking this way too personally.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 03:54 PM by Mr. Bungle

Mac Sirloin's Avatar
All of us would have benefited from speaking to another human being during those wasted hours of gaming. Sitting around a flaming pile of frozen shit in a cave relating stories to each other would have been better for you than a single frivolous evening spent with yourself masturbating the hours away with a video game controller. It burns your vision away, closes social bridges and every quiet awkward moment that you embaress your way through in your adult life, while not necessarily directly linked to gaming, is thoroughly rooted in your lazy bumbling self not sacking up and socializing.

It's hard to be told that the only thing that seems to define your personality is a horrible useless piece of junk, but I genuinely think it's better for you to just drop it and start on the road of self improvement. I wish you guys luck.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 03:58 PM by Mac Sirloin

mr.odd's Avatar
Oh my god. Mac played you guys like a fucking fiddle. The first sentence alone is obvious he's not serious.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 04:18 PM by mr.odd

Bullet Magnet's Avatar
It's obvious Mac's having one of those days again. But there is a point there.
Posted 01-30-2013 at 04:55 PM by Bullet Magnet

Hazel-Rah's Avatar
yeah, everything in moderation
Posted 01-30-2013 at 05:00 PM by Hazel-Rah

 

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