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I have news.


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I have news.

Posted 12-14-2012 at 04:58 AM by Ridg3
I got engaged last week, for all you who aren't on my Fartbake, to the bestest girl in the world. Down on one knee and everything. And even though I'm only the baby age of 21 I don't think I've jumped in too early seeing as we were together for about three years and have been living together for the past 6-7 months.

So far, though, a wedding is not on the cards... at least not for a verrry long time. For the time being it's a promise that I'm committed to her and only her for as long as that ring stays on her finger which is essentially already being married. But yeah, I'm happy, ecstatic even.

Not so happy that this is actually a very bad blog, though.
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Comments
Ridg3's Avatar
Cheers, everybody. Because it would be wrong of me to tell you the price of the ring I'll let you all know now that it's a white gold ring with diamonds which was actually pretty affordable :P

You're all invited to the wedding, or if that's not your style, the mass orgy that follows. As for the length of time for the nuptials to take place, tradition dictates that I wait at least 6 six years... or something like that.
Posted 12-14-2012 at 10:43 PM by Ridg3

Jordan's Avatar
why did this suddenly turn into a discussion about sex
Posted 12-15-2012 at 02:06 AM by Jordan

Dixanadu's Avatar
:
Anthony is the obviously the biggest virgin on OWF.
:
Anthony is the obviously
:
the obviously
What the hell is this shit, man?
Posted 12-15-2012 at 04:46 AM by Dixanadu

Sekto Springs's Avatar
I was doing one of those "can you spot the error" things. You passed. Conglaturations.
Posted 12-15-2012 at 07:12 AM by Sekto Springs

Bullet Magnet's Avatar
I thought I was the biggest virgin around here?

Or do I have to settle on "skinniest"?
Posted 12-15-2012 at 08:24 AM by Bullet Magnet

Sekto Springs's Avatar
Wil is way skinnier than you, I think, or perhaps Splat. Splat is a goddamned twig. You're all still virgins though.
Posted 12-15-2012 at 08:44 AM by Sekto Springs

OANST's Avatar
I'm pretty sure Wil is a bonerfied non-virgin. HOLY FUCK AM I A FUNNY DUDE
Posted 12-15-2012 at 09:39 AM by OANST

STM's Avatar
Well you're a dude. Probably.
Posted 12-15-2012 at 09:46 AM by STM

Sekto Springs's Avatar
We can all agree that Nate is the biggest manslut though right?
Posted 12-15-2012 at 10:04 AM by Sekto Springs

OANST's Avatar
No. Alcar. Nate is still but the learner.
Posted 12-15-2012 at 10:38 AM by OANST

Sekto Springs's Avatar
Does Alcar even post anymore?
Posted 12-15-2012 at 11:14 AM by Sekto Springs

OANST's Avatar
No.


Do we think Abe Babe has found someone willing to delve those depths, yet?
Posted 12-15-2012 at 11:29 AM by OANST

Dixanadu's Avatar
STM is still the biggest virgin.

Is he still a virgin?
Posted 12-15-2012 at 11:30 AM by Dixanadu

OANST's Avatar
Kiss me just like a bee sting.
Posted 12-15-2012 at 11:33 AM by OANST

STM's Avatar
Oh babe.

I haven't fucked but I've had sex. That, by the metric Sekto and I concluded upon earlier.

Don't you remember our rendezvous round the back of the bike shed, Dixiddly Doo.
Posted 12-15-2012 at 11:38 AM by STM

Nepsotic's Avatar
Does having sex with your hand count?
Posted 12-15-2012 at 12:01 PM by Nepsotic

Ridg3's Avatar
I had sex last night and I'm going to get some more tonight. More than likely I will get a blowjob tonight.

Do I win stuff?
Posted 12-15-2012 at 02:34 PM by Ridg3

STM's Avatar
You win a blowjob.
Posted 12-15-2012 at 02:45 PM by STM

Nate's Avatar
This may be shocking to y'all, but I've had sex far more times than Alcar has in the last year. And that's not even a high number.
Posted 12-15-2012 at 02:45 PM by Nate

Sekto Springs's Avatar
Ever since he discovered buttplugs, he doesn't get out as much.
Posted 12-15-2012 at 03:05 PM by Sekto Springs

Dixanadu's Avatar
:
Don't you remember our rendezvous round the back of the bike shed, Dixiddly Doo.
A bike shed is not macabre enough. New ideas are needed.

:
I had sex last night and I'm going to get some more tonight. More than likely I will get a blowjob tonight.
Fuck knows how many years on and he's still destroying her piss box. Only an LSD man.
Posted 12-15-2012 at 09:05 PM by Dixanadu

Phylum's Avatar
I'm probably skinnier than Wil and Splat.

I probably have a lower waist diameter than if you subtracted theirs from eachother.
Posted 12-15-2012 at 09:37 PM by Phylum

Bullet Magnet's Avatar
Where do you keep your organs?
Posted 12-16-2012 at 10:36 AM by Bullet Magnet

MeechMunchie's Avatar
Big Yellow Self Storage.
Posted 12-16-2012 at 01:00 PM by MeechMunchie

Nepsotic's Avatar
One of them just opened up near me, actually. Coincidence?
Big Yellow Self Storage
I used to think that it was for storing yourself.
Posted 12-16-2012 at 01:02 PM by Nepsotic

 
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