Scoop-Slinger Confidential Vol 1.

Zanoits.

The lack of chocolate frosties.

A lot of something, that's for sure.

I saw this earlier, yeah.

I could just imagine your stoic face glaring at him, saying with contempt, "This isn't Wendy's."

Fuck knows what he was on, probably some explicit shit like acid or something.

He was probly just a little tired.

Tired of not having a Frosty!

Cocainum.

That's exactly how it went down too. I have zero tolerance for that kind of shit when I'm at work.

I might as well take this opportunity to complain about asians, who make up about 90% of our clientele. They always come in the store en masse about five minutes before we close, asking for all kinds of bizarre orders in fractured english. You can never truly appreciate how awful asians are until you have to serve them.

One of them came in while I was sweeping up for the night. First thing she does is walk her petite self right through my sweeping path, kicking up all the dirt I had just swept into a pile. She stomps up to the register in her Ugg boots, and the following exchange takes place;

Azn: I want-a some juice.
Co-worker: We don't have juice.
Azn: Do you haff... strawbelly juice?
Co-worker: Uh...
Me (interjecting): We don't have juice. We have ice cream. This is an ice cream store. If you want juice, go to the supermarket down the block.
*Azn looks not so much at me but at the air directly in front of her face*
Azn: Do you no haff mango juice?
Me: WE DON'T HAVE JUICE. WE SERVE ICE CREAM.
Azn: Ooooooooohhhhh. Can I haff two ones?
Me: Two what?
Azn: Juice. Strawbelly and a mango.
Me: We. Don't. Have. JUICE. Order Ice Cream or get OUT.
Azn: Oooooooohhhh.

I understand that problems can occur when there's a language barrier, but if you're going to walk into a store and buy something, you should at least know enough english to read our menu. The funny part? There's an asian (I think korean) juice and smoothie bar right across the street. I don't know if she got confused or if she just expects all the frozen dessert joints on the block to be the same.

They also all behave exactly the same. Without fail, they come in groups of no less than three and immediately walk right up to the cake and pastry freezer and stare at it for several minutes. Then they walk up to the ghea, ask which flavors are which despite them being clearly labeled, and then order bizarre and difficult combinations of ice cream/mixings. If they are female, they will giggle obnoxiously every five seconds even if they aren't actually having a discussion. They never tip and never clean up their trash before they leave.

Take care of this problem, Strike Witch.

An addendum question for SW or WoF; why are asians so batshit crazy about ice cream?

Honestly this sounds a lot like me when I smoke pot and go to Dairy Queen.

The asian part. Not the blog itself. I'm guessing that weird dude was on steroids, meth and black tar heroin. And he'd just drank tequila shooters with high-octane ethanol. Some people just can't handle their ethanol.

No! He just needed a little more sleep. Stop exaggerating.

What he needed was more Asians.

Ok... I'll give you that. But can you explain why?

Doctors.

Good boy. You used your words.

God i hate it when people try to pay you with a hundred dollar bill when they only owe you like 5 bucks. I work in fast food and people do that all the time.

One night i had five people in a row hand me a hundred. They were all together, but none of them wanted to just pay for everyone. I literally had to give a guy nothing but ones back. He gave me a dirty look, but the register was almost completely empty.

I knew there would be at least one person on this forum that's had to work in the service sector and knows my plight. These assholes who throw c-notes around like chump change have likely never worked a register in their life. I can't stand when they get upset for having to wait for 95 dollars in change in fives and ones.

And there's always that one asshole who asks for like five dollars worth of quarters when you've only got three dollars worth in the till, so you have to call your manager to open the safe, take out new rolls, empty them, etc.

Last shift, our credit card machine was broke, and we put a BIG sign on both sides of the front door and the foyer door, as well in front of the ghea. I'd say more than half the customers that night still tried to pay with their cards.

I've had customers check with me whether or not one and two make three.

Isn't it terrible when people make you work at your job? God, I just hate that.

First world problems, motherfucker.

I actually quite like my job, I just hate the customers. It's a strange paradox since dealing with them encompasses most of my workday. Maybe I just like the perk of coming home smelling like cinnamon waffle cones and vanilla.

I hope you told them it was four.
I've yet to encounter this problem, because you know... asians and math.

Many Asian cultures serve desserts that are all about texture rather than flavour. You'll go to an Asian buffett and find ten types of jelly and candy, all of which taste like sugar but have different textures.

When they do have flavours, it's often fruit that aren't that common outside of Asia. Or at least that aren't commonly used for ice cream.

Come to Melbourne and I'll take you to a real Asian ice creamery. It'll be an experience.

I'd regard the texture of ice cream as one of the least unique of the spectrum.

I think his point was that they're different to what's readily available to them in Asia, not that they fit in with their tastes.

I haven't been to Asia, but I'm pretty sure ice cream is available and commonplace in many of it's countries. Perhaps they're compensating for the lack of dairy in their native cuisine.

By readily available I think I actually meant readily eaten by people who aren't tourists. They probably have it here in much the same way that we would have pasta and pizza in Italy or cheese and bread in France.

If that's the case, a new question arises...
Why so many Asian tourists in one of the smallest, most dismal, unimportant, and unfriendly cities in America?

THEM SNEAKY SLANT-EYES ARE UP TO SUMTHIN'

They don't have ice-cream in Japan. They have shaved ice. This I know from my animu.

Shaved ice looks pretty disgusting.

Some of the most fun I had in England was when I was staying with my brother out in Nailsea. Naturally people from around there noticed out accents, because nothing could be farther from Australian English than its loosely related Somerset dialect, and generally asked why in all of England we were there. The same could be asked of people who visit Adelaide. There a few interesting things around, but the city itself is just devoid of anything worthwhile. Nonetheless we still get hordes of Asians with cameras, albeit less in the last year or two.

It's also worth noting that the groups of Asians that come into your shop are probably traveling as a part of some larger super-conglomerate of Asian tourists who mention your shop to others.