I, BM
299 792 458 m·s^−1 6.67384(80)×10−11 m³·kg^−1·s−2 6.626 069 57(29) × 10^−34 J·s 1.054 571 726(47) × 10^−34 J·s 4π × 10^−7 N·A^−2 = 1.256 637 061... × 10^−6 N·A^−2 8.854 187 817... × 10^−12 F·m−1 376.730 313 461... Ω 8.987 551 787... × 109 N·m²·C^−2 1.602 176 565(35) × 10^−19 C 9.274 009 68(20) × 10^−24 J·T^−1 7.748 091 7346(25) × 10^−5 S 12 906.403 7217(42) Ω 4.835 978 70(11) × 10^14 Hz·V−1 2.067 833 758(46) × 10^−15 Wb 5.050 783 53(11) × 10^−27 J·T^−1 25 812.807 4434(84) Ω 5.291 772 1092(17) × 10^−11 m 2.817 940 3267(27) × 10^−15 m 9.109 382 91(40) × 10^−31 kg 1.166 364(5) × 10^−5 GeV^−2 7.297 352 5698(24) × 10^−3 4.359 744 34(19) × 10^−18 J 1.672 621 777(74) × 10^−27 kg 3.636 947 5520(24) × 10^−4 m² s^−1 10 973 731.568 539(55) m^−1 6.652 458 734(13) × 10^−29 m² 0.2223(21) 1.660 538 921(73) × 10^−27 kg 6.022 141 29(27) × 10^23 mol^−1
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Dragonslayer
In the land of Earlize, an exporter of lead
Ruled by a king (who’s extremely inbred)
Homeland of giants, but the giants are dead
So the towns are beset by a dragon instead
You can only burn down and eat all a man’s stuff
So many times before he’ll say, “Enough!
It’s time for the dragon to see that we’re tough,
Our knight will extinguish that piteous Puff!”
So out rode their champion, in gleaming steel armour
Bearing his shield with its heraldic llama
To be the right hand of the force they call Karma
(At this point it’s safe to assume there’ll be drama)
Up the Mountain of Dread, it’s Obsidian Stair
He choked on the poison of fresh alpine air
As he approached the black Cave of Despair:
The prime real estate of the great dragon’s lair
“Hark, scaly one! Beast of fire, come forth!”
Challenged the knight from the back of his horse
“You raze all our homes and you show no remorse
So our judgement upon you I’m here to enforce!”
The dragon did stir from his contented slumber
And out of the mouth of the cave he did lumber
“Well met, little knight, though this I must wonder,
What is your problem with me and my plunder?
I‘m sure I don’t know what it is I did wrong
I only do now what I’ve done my life long
The cows and the sheep of this land do belong
To the dragon who proves to the others he’s strong.
I fought for my province, I fought for it hard
And ever since then I have been on my guard
By rights it’s my duty to keep this land charred
Now you tell me it’s wrong? What a stupid canard!”
Such feedback was not what the knight had expected
He lowered his shield feeling slightly dejected
Before he remembered why he’d been selected
And strode to the dragon, to whom he objected:
“Now you listen here, you grandiloquent wyrm!
Your bellicose ways evoke harm, I confirm
You injure us all when our homes you do burn
So this hideous truth I implore that you learn!”
The dragon blinked twice as these facts were digested
And realised at last that he’d long been detested
By the wriggling bipeds who often protested
When their pigs and their goats and their limbs were ingested
“It seems that you learn something new every day
I had no idea that I cause such affray
But I find I care not for the troubles of prey
Your towns and your farms provide quite the buffet.”
“So be it!” the knight cried, and sword raised he lunged
Straight for the dragon, the battle begun
A jet of hot flame then burned bright as the sun
And with that lucent moment the battle was done
“Harrumph,” said the dragon, and went back to sleep
Fulfilled by the land that forever he’ll keep
To dream of high mountains and conflagrant sheep
And ashes and armour in smouldering heaps
So never forget that should ever you dare
To climb that old mountain’s Obsidian Stair
And face that which dwells in the Cave of Despair
There’s a bloody great dragon, you haven’t a prayer.
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