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A Commentary on my Religious Stance

Posted 10-07-2012 at 08:42 AM by STM
Earlier this year, on Saturday 28th January - I believe whilst having dinner at a restaurant - I renounced my unswerving faith in God and with it my ties to Catholicism and Christianity. It has been over eight months since that day and I have decided to finally reflect upon the topic in a blog here. I'm not sure as to whether this will be particularly interesting to anyone here, however I am finding it - for want of a better word - therapeutic, to provide a written manifestation of my feelings on the matter.

To contextualise my background and to shed some light on my eventual decision, one must take a step into the murky backwaters of my early childhood. As a baby I was Baptised a Roman Catholic, without any choice in the matter and without a thought given to the ramifications this action would pose to me in the coming years. My father who is also a Roman Catholic, had the most to do with this decision. Naturally, it made sense to continue the family's religious tradition. Not to mention the fact that he unfalteringly promised to raise me a Catholic when he applied to be married in the Church. Perhaps ironically, my mother - who believed herself to be an adherent to the Church of England, but was listed as an 'un-Baptised Christian' by the Catholic Church - is less religious. As it stands, I feel that she is unsure as to what she 'is'. I know that she does not consider herself a Catholic, nor does she have any intention of becoming one. If anything, she is a theistic agnostic, though she raised me as a Catholic like my father.

I went to an (at the time) good Catholic primary school, attended a good Catholic Church and when I was bullied for two or three years, I was bullied by good Catholic children. In time I took my Holy Communion and entered the second phase of becoming a fully fledged Christian. Because apparently the Church requires you to prove your devotion three times: Baptism, Communion and Confirmation. Although I have always thought that I unswervingly followed the doctrine of the Church, apparently from even a young age I began to ask questions about faith and God that neither of my parents could answer. I do not feel that any of these questions had an impact on my belief until much later, the indoctrination was too thick and my appearance at Church was too regular.

Until secondary school I was shy, lonely, somewhat intelligent and fat. I succeeded in the academic half of primary school, and failed miserably in the social aspects. I had perhaps a single true friend by the time I left and was for the most part lonely. Ironic when Christianity promotes equality, togetherness and friendship against all men*.

In secondary school I slowly began to alter myself in accordance with my peers. Naturally, when going from a class of 30 and a total school of 210 into a class of 210 and a school of 1200, one automatically alters oneself in order to better fit in. It was a change but nonetheless, not a big enough to stop a continuation of the bullying which lasted sporadically for another two years before circumstantial events allowed me to shift this bullying onto other people. Dog eat dog. Towards the end of my 11th year of living, I began to swear, something that simply did not occur to me before. The good, quiet Christian boy who always kept his head down suddenly found himself slightly more accepted into the playground politics.

That was perhaps my first step on the road to agnosticism. By 2008, at the age of 13, I found my way onto Oddworld Forums. Obviously I was childish and immature. By my posting in religious debates and in fact elsewhere across the forums, one can follow a trail of a unique brand of religious intolerance and un acceptance. In the God debate for instance, I seem to distinctly remember condemning certain members to Hell for not renouncing their belief (or lack of).

It was not until 2010 that I began to really change my opinions. At this point I altered many of my religious opinions which I had held at one point or another in my life, as standard. Most importantly, I became more tolerant, much in the same way as the Tsarist regime became more tolerant after the 1905 revolution, I made moderate reforms to my outlook. I renounced my homophobia. To this day I am sickened to remember that I had a deep seated dislike of gays. Although I am not trying to lessen my blame for this, I would like to point out that I was 14 or 15 when this occurred, later than I seem to remember but upon reflection, that number appears more realistic than what I had initially led myself to believe. The point I am making is that a fourteen year old child had installed in him, a series of intolerant perceptions, largely put in place by the doctrine of the Church. A child does not simply acquire a dislike of gays without some external input. He does not have racist tendencies without external input.

As I have said repeatedly, one of the factors which led me to turn away from Christianity, and in fact most religion, was my time spent here. To engage in intelligent discussion with people older and brighter than I, I was opened up to new concepts and ideas which allowed me to seriously consider why I was a Christian. What did I gain from being a Christian? Why should I continue being a Christian? By 2012 these questions had overwhelmed me and after hiding behind self-created fantasies and unintelligent notions, I finally renounced my Christianity and my faith to God.

I am now an Agnostic, though if you were to have a scale:

v-------------------v-------------------V
R..........................Ag.........................At

Where R is religious, Ag is agnostic and At is atheist, you would find me in between Ag and At, a massive difference from even three years ago when I was firmly positioned at R.

Now, why do I dislike the Church? Despite the good that they spread, and continue to spread, they could be doing more for people than they are doing already. Whilst Christianity devotes its help to developing countries in the form of the Red Cross (as Islam does with the Green Crescent) they also spread lies about the negatives of condom usage at a time when we now have the potential to educate these countries and see a steady decline in HIV and AIDS. I will ignore a few other arguments that are too petty to mention and would no doubt hurt and argument I posed about whether the Church does more harm than good. Instead I will move on to one last point, Christianity, and all religion, has too much of a say in secular politics. Why does the Church of England still have a hand, however small, in the running of a secular country? I hold no allegiance to the CofE, nor did I when I was a Catholic! This has to stop and it has to stop soon. The careful blend of hysteria and propagandist brainwashing still continues to seep into the heads of the easily led and the easily confused. This is perhaps on of my most important points.

I make no conclusion here, I simply leave the blog open to comments and questions if you have any. Whilst it is not my intention to provide you with interesting life information in a period of potential boredom, I do hope that you got something out of this. Whatever that something is, is none of my concern.

Thank you for reading.
Total Comments 24

Comments

Nepsotic's Avatar
So... you don't believe in god anymore? Is that because it's a ridiculous concept and you've come to your senses, or because the religion itself is titwank? (No offense intended)

Either way, I'm proud of you.
Posted 10-07-2012 at 08:54 AM by Nepsotic

STM's Avatar
Thanks, because I was looking for your approval this whole time. That's why I did all of this...in January.

I have no real view on the matter, I think that there is a possibility a godlike being, or godlike beings exist, but not as we have thought of them/ it. The concept of an afterlife is even more unlikely to me, whilst it's nice to hope there is one, I'll not be making any reservations. This came about because religion creates so many unlikely concepts. I also disagree with the doctrine of most organised religion.
Posted 10-07-2012 at 09:18 AM by STM

Nepsotic's Avatar
"Ahh, love thy neighbour... UNLESS HE TAKES IT UP THE ARSE! BURN HIM AT THE STEAK!"

Summarising all organised religion in one sentence.
Posted 10-07-2012 at 10:16 AM by Nepsotic

Bullet Magnet's Avatar
I remember that when I said I'd stopped respecting you you switched gears from arrogant shit to repentant meekling and started listening to me. Which was cute. The cause for my outburst less so. As I recall you began detailing a pseudo-religious tale that you claimed to be the scientific account of the history of the universe, having announced that you would do so by ignoring all scientific evidence. Which really rubbed me up the wrong way.

And now you're researching and using real facts about the moon to defend science when stupid claims about the moon are made. Before I got to do that myself.


On an unrelated note, why am I getting commercial hotlinks showing up in the words of your blog? I don't want to win a new iPhone 5, quit asking.
Posted 10-07-2012 at 11:35 AM by Bullet Magnet

Nepsotic's Avatar
Dude... You have adware.
Posted 10-07-2012 at 11:45 AM by Nepsotic

STM's Avatar
I'll take that as a compliment, Marcus, despite how embroiled said compliment is with condescension. ;D

If you're using Chrome, go into the drop down menu > settings > extensions and disable some of the active ones until it goes away. It could be Realplayer HTML5 or CodecV perhaps.
Posted 10-07-2012 at 01:06 PM by STM

JayDee's Avatar
My name translates to Jesus. I am therefore proof of religion. My logic is flawless.
Posted 10-07-2012 at 01:16 PM by JayDee

STM's Avatar
And lo, didst they worship thine holy cupcaek.
Posted 10-07-2012 at 01:17 PM by STM

Varrok's Avatar
Jesus is a normal name, I believe, therefore there are way more proofs of religion
Posted 10-07-2012 at 01:36 PM by Varrok

Nepsotic's Avatar
:
If you're using Chrome, go into the drop down menu > settings > extensions and disable some of the active ones until it goes away. It could be Realplayer HTML5 or CodecV perhaps.
Oh, right. One time when it happened to me, I found out it was adware.
Posted 10-07-2012 at 02:27 PM by Nepsotic

Crashpunk's Avatar
:
My name translates to Jesus. I am therefore proof of religion. My logic is flawless.
My name mixed with the first letter of my Surname = Christ. It must be real.
Posted 10-07-2012 at 03:03 PM by Crashpunk

MeechMunchie's Avatar
BM, you should Spybot S&D that shit.
Posted 10-07-2012 at 03:26 PM by MeechMunchie

Bullet Magnet's Avatar
I found it in my extensions and lanced it.
Posted 10-07-2012 at 04:09 PM by Bullet Magnet

Jordan's Avatar
You must be feeling so Beyoncé today.
Posted 10-08-2012 at 01:36 AM by Jordan

Bullet Magnet's Avatar
:
Instead I will move on to one last point, Christianity, and all religion, has too much of a say in secular politics. Why does the Church of England still have a hand, however small, in the running of a secular country? I hold no allegiance to the CofE, nor did I when I was a Catholic! This has to stop and it has to stop soon.
I love this. This is exactly why the United States has its First Amendment, and what you have written here is exactly what too many people fail to understand. So long as it's their religion doing it, they don't care. Even though there is no guarantee that it will always be their religion, in themselves or in their government.
Posted 10-08-2012 at 02:11 AM by Bullet Magnet

Havoc's Avatar
Oh, I didn't know you had actually renounced your entire faith. Must have missed that part, unless you didn't announce it here.

In any case I am very proud of you. When you joined this place you were the stereotype religious brainwashed kid who would do anything to defend his faith. In the many debates and arguments I've had with you in those threads, I didn't think there would be any hope of you of ever fighting back against the indoctrination and questioning your faith.

It makes me really really really happy to see that some people are still able to escape it, which is what makes me proud of you because I've seen that change happening ever so gradually since that heated religious discussion. And it must have taken some guts to tell your parents you're stepping away from the way of life they spent 14 years projecting on to you.

My respect for you has been steadily growing since I saw you changing, but this has given it a major boost. Congrats on your decision and I hope you will not come to regret it.
Posted 10-08-2012 at 05:00 AM by Havoc

STM's Avatar
This it true, BM. Whilst I was a Christian it didn't bother me as much, though well before I renounced I thought it was wrong to an extent. There's no room for religion in good 21st century politics.

Thank you, Havoc, as well. I certainly haven't regretted it, after an initial shaky start where it feels like a safety net has been taken from underneath you, you realise that your destiny, as it where, is entirely up to you, there's no predetermination, no one judging you from behind the clouds and as far as we know, there is no God who created the Earth, especially not as the Bible describes it, though I never really believed that any way, I think that is the most beautiful thing. We could well be here by accident. I think that is what makes life so incredibly important.
Posted 10-08-2012 at 06:05 AM by STM

OANST's Avatar
I'm not going to say that I'm proud of you for renouncing religion. Everyone is entitled to believe whatever they want. If the topic comes up, and I'm involved in it, I will tell people what I think of their religion, and what I believe, but I don't allow a person's religious affiliation to affect how I perceive them otherwise. That being said, I'm happy for you if coming to this conclusion makes you happy.
Posted 10-08-2012 at 06:32 AM by OANST

MeechMunchie's Avatar
Havoc likes you. You're doing it wrong, whatever it is.
Posted 10-08-2012 at 09:27 AM by MeechMunchie

Havoc's Avatar
Choosing between me and religion must be a really shitty choice to make.
Posted 10-08-2012 at 02:24 PM by Havoc

Varrok's Avatar
THIS LION IS LICKING MY SCREEN, MAKE IT STOP
Posted 10-09-2012 at 12:20 AM by Varrok

Nate's Avatar
:
Choosing between me and religion must be a really shitty choice to make.
Not really. Every time I've seen you discusse religion, I suddenly feel the urge to put on my skullcap and go to synagogue.
Posted 10-09-2012 at 03:27 AM by Nate

Bullet Magnet's Avatar
Ah, so it's Havoc that's doing it wrong.
Posted 10-09-2012 at 08:52 AM by Bullet Magnet

Nepsotic's Avatar
:
THIS LION IS LICKING MY SCREEN, MAKE IT STOP
Tiger. How do you not know that after all these years?
Posted 10-09-2012 at 09:14 AM by Nepsotic

 






 
 
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