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You can start breathing again
Hey, anyone still remember this? I'm only a month late!
The follow-up to > this. < You might want to read that first, even if you were there at the time.
Sorry for the lateness. I've had school work. Yeah. SCHOOL. Will you please stop begging for the approval of a legal minor? Everyone: You suck. Anyway, this is what I've seen. You may have adopted twelve orphaned kittens, but you never showed me, so I didn't put "Charitable to young felines" in. I don't know all of you that well, so I'll admit that I may have had to search some members' posts to try and gauge what they're 'all about'.
For your best enjoyment of this blog, I recommend middle-clicking, then moving your mouse the tiniest fraction downwards so the page scrolls as slowly as possible. Make sure to play the YouTube video at the top. You can now pretend you are at a fancy awards ceremony, complete with gushing speeches. For added affect, smile and wave at an imaginary audience when you're mentioned.
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Now, in alphabetical order:
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Bullet Magnet: The resident boffin. Knows something about everything, and everything about something you can actually think of. Is most alive when arguing, borderline comatose at all other times. Uses only 10% of his brain capacity in daily life, just enough to process contempt and derisive sneering. Also a talented poet.
Is: Smart, pedantic, well-read. Likes: Steampunk, acting superior, mass debating.
Mr. Bungle: A hipster you don't want to punch. Has a casual, faintly mocking approach to almost everything. While no more knowledgeable than the average joe, makes up for it with good intuition. Probably the trendiest person in this list IRL.
Is: Canadian, indie, cool. Likes: Alternative music, creepypasta, cultural exchange.
Crashpunk: The darling mascot. Ever the soft, lisping voice of innocent reason. A Peter-Pan like state of perpetual youth and enthusiasm is what we ask of the beloved Cun't Spill, and so far he has been happy to oblige. Will we ever tire of him? I don't think so.
Is: Adorable, friendly, charming. Likes: Punk, Monty Python, everything.
Daxter King: A true gamer. Rarely seen outside of any gaming-related threads. Usually straight in with an incisive but totally irrelevant comment when he does stray outside his chosen domain.
Is: Broad-horizoned, slightly unhinged, up for anything that looks entertaining. Likes: Action games, roleplay games, a few things that aren't games.
Dynamithix: All-round nice guy of easygoing temperament. Supportive in serious matters but equally willing to dick about when called for. Slightly bitchy when roused. I can just about spell his username.
Is: Finnish, fair, polite. Likes: Good video games, meeting interesting people, being "plugged in".
Enchilado: The Jack of Dicks. While not necessarily the member most revered for his trolling, his reliable daily contribution to the banter is valuable, and very much appreciated. Doesn't like being confused with Taco.
Is: Upfront, proactive, faintly confused. Likes: Minecraft, learning, getting shit done.
Jordan: Optimistic, high-spirited everydude. Always friendly and has a nice long temper. Fills a vital supporting role. I mean, OWF wouldn't survive long if we were all dicks.
Is: Gay, supportive, honest. Likes: Jokes 'n' japes, having good friends, helping.
Mac Sirloin: Big-hearted ex-pothead lumberjack. Wanders the forums in some kind of magical rainbow haze, spewing out vivid appraisals and cheerful non-sequiteurs. The emotional centre of OWF; ready to give an honest opinion, good or bad, to any member. Passionate yet gracious in defeat.
Is: Canadian, modest, liberal. Likes: Wilful stupidity, random displays of affection, WH40k.
Molluck's Assistant (MA): Pitchfork-wielding straight-talker. Responsible for 20% of OWF's testosterone, has a broad, practical vagina sphere of knowledge. Dependable, consistent, and fierce when provoked, but rarely less than fair. Lives a modest, satisfying existence, doing an honest day's work for an honest night's rage. Surprisingly level-headed for a certified psycho. Has a moustache.
Is: Manly, hard-working, tolerant*. Likes: Tractors, kows, "DRINK!".
Mudokon_Master: Another abnormally clued-up teenager. One of the first current members to join after I did, built up a nice little reputation by joining community modding efforts, then tentatively dipped his toes into the churning waters of the COCKSTORM and made his opinions known. Given some of his early blogs, he's come a long way. May be partially due to the forums' influence.
Is: Young, Australian, often nonplussed. Likes: Martial arts, drama, hormones.
OANST: A permanent fixture. Astoundingly honest concerning his life, which oddly makes you more aware of how much stuff he, and indeed everybody here, must keep to themselves. Has become intoxicated with his own reputation, and become a proper grandfather figure to the forums; Drinking noisily in the corner, giving unhelpful advice, and making offensive suggestions about your mother. Expects the forums to adjust to accommodate him, which it usually does.
Is: Opinionated, determined, down-to-earth. Likes: Dr. Seuss, throwing his weight around, everyone on the forums more than he's prepared to admit.
Mr. Odd: Standard contributive member. Takes only a minor role in horseplay, but always shows interest in the activities of other members. Serves as a nice reminder of what forums are usually like.
Is: Stable, attentive, actually interested in Oddworld. Likes: Fanworks, seeing people have fun, living a normal life.
OddHunter: The spectral sceptic. The closest thing OWF has to a representative member, fully embodies the deadpan wit, softly-spoken intellect, casual superiority and tangible cynicism that we all love so much. Has recently started making himself more visible, somehow.
Is: Confident, subtle, sharp. Likes: Technology, British media, curiosities.
oddJO B ABe: CRANKY OLD FArtaccpted immEnent middel age with a chuCKel usulevoyse of raisin and is disMISSIve ofthese kids and theyre hair-trigger flami.ng
Is m:atURe (du)h exp erience,d sensible. Likes: lorrLOL and HARDY-HAR, British sitcom,ssimple plezzurs.
Scrabtrapman: Confused, carefully adjusting quasi-adult. Maturing at a rapid rate. Has dropped teenage introversion in favour of constant intake of others' views. May or may not emerge from adolescence with psychology intact. Lapses into cockiness when bored.
Is: Open-minded, eager, awkward. Likes: Poking fun, bad jokes, bees.
Scraby: Wide-eyed fanboy. Tries a little too hard to be funny. Seems fairly nice nonetheless.
Is: Curious, well-meaning, a little naive. Likes: New things, astronomy, confusing everybody with Croatia.
Sekto Springs: Artsy-fartsy eyebrow-raiser who was being a hipster before it was cool. Posts less than most, but makes each post worth reading. Has genuine talent and drive in independent arts, and will no doubt get his big break eventually.
Is: Observant, thoughtful, artistic. Likes: Monsters, carefully theorised fictional universes, puns.
Sheridanm962: Impetuous newbie. Resistance to hate may yet prove him to be a good member. Completely immune to trolling.
Is: Enthusiastic, insecure, undeterrable. Likes: The forums, smart people, drawing fire.
T-Nex: Pacifier, morale officer, mediator. Rinses her face in sugar water every morning. Living in Scandinavia has taught her a thing or two about dealing with trolls, the simplest being to act disarmingly nice. While happy to play along with the memery and banter, has against all odds resisted the general grouchiness, instead remaining as optimistic and trusting as (presumably) the day she joined.
Is: Cute, approachable, Danish. Likes: Being all of those things, seeing how inappropriately she can act while still remaining all of those things, woolly hats.
Varrok: The promising "new" guy (550 posts). Only surfaced on my radar recently, but shows an ongoing interest in OWF and its activities. Is already punching well above his weight in terms of banter. I expect him to hear the call and join our band of merry cunts soon enough.
Is: Snappy, precocious, agreeable. Likes: The Binding of Isaac, being contributive, witty shennanigans.
Wil: A bemused god, a child poking at his ant farm. Then getting covered in ants. Feigns exasperation at the community but is clearly entertained nonetheless. Has retained his passion for Oddworld despite constant overanalysis and hole-picking by fans. Has also retained his passion for the fans despite now being representative for the subjects of said overanalysis and hole-picking. Most likely member to still be here in 50 years.
Is: Vegan, camp, offended by being referred to as 'camp'. Likes: Younger men, flirting, his job.
Wings of Fire: The people's speaker. Willing to explain things to the confused properly, if briefly, rather than immediately switching to troll mode. Fascinating and frustrating in equal measure. Deeply annoying at times, possibly due to jealousy on my part. Commitment to general niceness and modesty neither worsens nor improves matters.
Is: Bisexual, forgiving, slightly smug. Likes: Anime, lesbians, acting cute.
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I feel the need to point out that the length of a member's bio barely reflects my level of interest in that member, or my perception of their level of complexity as person. Some things are just simpler to say than others.
*People seem to think that irritable people are intolerant. I disagree. If you're annoyed more easily than the average person, you're therefore putting up with more annoyances than the average person. So to stay on the average level of irritation, you have to be more tolerant. Also, MA was actually still called Molluck's Assistant when I wrote his.
On a more serious note, Oddworld Forums: A tightly-knit group of deep, interesting, varied people. Each one, beloved or not, is the very definition of individuality, and the ability of so many radically differing persons to connect so casually is inspiring. The initial hazing is, frankly, a fair toll for the communal embrace that awaits on the other side. I am genuinely honoured by the level of respect I enjoy here, and while I can never know by what means, I am certain my life would have been much the worse had I never come here.
Would we be living in some Bizarro-OWF, where OANST and WoF reigned supreme with no plucky underdog to distract them from mutual ridicule? Where MA sought solace in OddJob and Phylum alone? Where Crashpunk tried in vain to resist Wil's lesser-divided advances? Meanwhile, across the web, on a dreary, average gaming messageboard, a timid 14-year-old speaks incoherently of a late-'90s platform series, while slowly having the fire and conviction bled out of him by casual elitism and constant moderation...
No. I am here, now. (Unless you're reading this in some backwater timezone, in which case I am here yesterday.) I still remember, I first came here in search of an AO level editor. It may not be fate, but as long as Oddworld was compelling enough, I was always going to want more. That would lead me here, to be enthralled by the air of deadpan eccentricity. We have a fully functional level editor now, and yet I'm still here. Maybe I found something, an intangible but essential something, present within every person here, that compels me even more.
There were a good few people I would have liked to include in this blog, but I thought it impolite to put people in without prompting. But if I'm still around for OWF's 15th, I'll do a big drawing with all the veterans in it (expect it to be posted at least six months late, though). It'll also be my membership trianniversary in a couple of weeks (22-04-2009), but since I've already spoken for most people here I like, I probably won't make another blog for that, unless I think my ego needs expanding. And no, I am not especially tired, or drunk... yet.
A lot of our younger members have recently been crossing some abrupt threshold, and choosing to advance their real lives over their online ones. I respect that, and hopefully, someday, I too will have something in my life that means so much as to draw me away from my happy little fantasy here. But for now and the immediate future, I am humble, happy, and here to stay. And with pressure to achieve in my real life mounting, though you'll probably see less of me, I'm going to need my downtime here more than ever.
Here's to the next three years! *Raises pint*
X\/X
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Must have glitched.
