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Something

Posted 03-31-2012 at 09:31 PM by Phylum
Updated 08-11-2012 at 05:24 AM by Phylum
I've felt really weird in the last few weeks. It's like there's fog in my head. Everything in my mind feels a long way away. I'm getting stupider every day. I'm mispronouncing words and just generally making no sense. My typing is still reasonably coherent after a thorough proofread with the aid of a spellchecker.

I've recently realised just how fucking stupid and paranoid I've been about everything lately. I feel like I can't do anything right. I feel as if people that tell me I'm doing things well are either lying, misguided or stupid. I've honestly thought that I'm shit at everything I do and that people say things because they want me to think otherwise.

I've also been so physically tired. Walking to school feels like more of an effort than it has in the past. When I get home I'm so exhausted I can hardly do anything. My music is really suffering for this because I don't have the energy to practice.

Speaking of music, it's been going downhill lately, or at least less uphill. Again, I feel like everyone that says I'm good is lying and I don't even know why. I really feel inadequate as a player for the first time and it's really shit. I can't trust anyone to reassure me about my playing.

I also feel like nobody likes me, but I can't actually think why. I just get a feeling from people, which is completely ridiculous but I can't shake it.

I've been really on edge the last few days I feel like I could just break down soon. In English on Wednesday I felt like I couldn't breathe and I had the grab onto the back of my chair for my dear life. I don't even know why, but I just suddenly felt exposed and weird.

That's just about everything right now. It's ridiculous and probably a little exaggerated, because I obviously can't see things how they really are.

Opinions?
Posted in Crappy Crap, Crap
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Total Comments 12

Comments
Varrok's Avatar
It's all in your head. Let the logic guide you: If you can't think of a good reason for them to dislike you, there probably is none. There are moments in every teenager's life when he feels exactly as you've just described, they don't last forever, just gain some self-confidence and care less about the others.
Posted 03-31-2012 at 11:22 PM by Varrok

Varrok's Avatar
APRIL FOOLS!
You must have severe brain problems, and you'll end up in a mental institution, lose friends, family, and finally die alone
I'm obviously not honest in this comment lol
Posted 03-31-2012 at 11:24 PM by Varrok

Phylum's Avatar
:
If you can't think of a good reason for them to dislike you, there probably is none.
I know. The point was that despite there being nothing I still can't shake the feeling. Logic has gone amiss somewhere.
Posted 04-01-2012 at 02:57 AM by Phylum

Varrok's Avatar
You just have to try to ignore it, I have no specific advice there. I felt like that and it just stopped. Maybe you should search for new, other friends you feel better with (without leaving old ones)?
Posted 04-01-2012 at 03:08 AM by Varrok

OddjobAbe's Avatar
I used to get this during my later years in high school. It was shitty, because the stuff I usually did to relax I felt I had gotten shit at, so even trying to do something like paint or play music (especially if I was trying to create something original) made me feel worse. I made myself get out and do something with my friends. A lot of the time I regretted it, but that was balanced by the amount of times it made me feel better, just because I was doing something.
I also felt a lot better when I started seeing more girls. I don't know what your situation is at the moment, but that could make you feel much better.
Posted 04-01-2012 at 03:38 AM by OddjobAbe

STM's Avatar
Or a hell of a lot worse, be careful on the women aspect of things, especially since you're going through puberty, it can make things worse than it can better. That in mind though, everyone's different.

I'm not a doctor, but it sounds like you're going through proper depression. In which case perhaps you should schedule a visit to the doctor and explain your situation. Y'never know perhaps they'll give you happy pills...
Posted 04-01-2012 at 03:55 AM by STM

Mr. Bungle's Avatar
Like Oddjob said, it sounds like you've got a case of the laters years of High School. Exact thing happened to me.
Posted 04-01-2012 at 09:28 AM by Mr. Bungle

MA's Avatar
i had something like this when i was your age too, it's one of the reasons why i hated school. it does get better eventually.
Posted 04-01-2012 at 11:46 AM by MA

Bullet Magnet's Avatar
Actually, that sounds like something you should mention to a doctor.
Posted 04-01-2012 at 03:05 PM by Bullet Magnet

I fell that way sometimes but it's now starting to go away a little, I'm still shy around girls though (as usual) but that's not apart of it, I can't stop worrying about certain things 'till I eventually just took time to relax and got me thinking about other things that I actually enjoy pondering in my head, the rest is just history for the moment. I honestly can say that my life is a blur and that I can't remember most of my life (I wonder if that's the same for some/most of you...)
anyway, just keep your head up and think positive my friend :) .
Posted 04-02-2012 at 01:13 AM by sheridanm962

MeechMunchie's Avatar
I've got the same thing right now. I can't really explain it. It's like everything that made me me just sort of got skimmed off the top of my head, and now I've just got a sort of generic personality left behind.
Posted 04-02-2012 at 04:00 AM by MeechMunchie

OANST's Avatar
Sounds like AIDS.
Posted 04-02-2012 at 08:18 AM by OANST

 

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