OUTLAW FLAMER, FUCK YEEAH

Also, I had a chest x-ray and ultrasound of the heart and apparently there's no evidence of Marfan's syndrome, which is a good thing. However, I still don't know what is wrong with me.

Also, more info on this woman I love: well, I dunno, I was on IRC, and she was just this person. I thought she was cool enough, I guess. Then one day she randomly said she loved me, and I naturally assumed she was just making a joke. When she continued to say similar things for the next week or two, though, and progressed to saying (jokingly, of course) that I hated her, I wondered if there wasn't some emotion behind it.

I also started paying more attention to her, and realised how lovely a woman she really was. My affection grew and I eventually admitted to her that I liked her a considerable amount, and since then we've had private conversation occasionally - nothing, like, of that kind, just talking about stuff. I still don't think she's really serious, but she uses all sorts of terms of endearment for me.

I've quite openly admitted that I love her now, and it's almost a running joke in one particular channel we talk most in. I should note that she's a rather well-known figure on this particular (large) IRC network.

Anyway. Today someone started discussing with me how what I felt was more infatuation than love, or something, and her attitude seemed to be that this guy was making too big a deal out of some harmless joking around.

I probably haven't explained it all that well here but it's past 2am so I don't really care. I love her terribly, although not in particularly sexual way... I don't want to be in a relationship with her or anything. But... I love her. And I still have no idea how she feels about me.


Oh, and I've not had pizza in weeks.