A Max to Grind

« Coalition For Equal Marriage | Main | Conversations from Work »

Rate this Entry

Block

Posted 03-16-2012 at 02:06 PM by Wil

I've been incredibly lucky. I've never been a vicim of homophobia. I've noticed people watching me during some of my camper moments in public, but whatever. I've put up with silly comments made about me and gay people in general, but they've always been comical, jovial or teasing and made by people I don't feel threatened by.

I've heard and read about homophobia, and it makes me angry and/or upset. I mean, obviously. It's not nice to know there are people who impose or support that kind of bigotry, hatred and oppression. The same goes for any prejudice. The news of what's happening in Texas is downright depressing.

But I've never felt shaken, and I've never felt threatened. But when someone I would ordinarily call a friend posted on Facebook a link to the vile Campaign For Marriage, that's exactly how I was made to feel.

It took a while to sink in. I had to read their accompanying message and subsequent comments a few times to work out if they were actually supporting it, but when I couldn't deny their advocacy of a hate group, I couldn't let them be a friend. I unfriended them.

I've never before 'unfriended' (on Facebook, IRL or anywhere) anyone because of opposing beliefs. I've fallen out of touch with people, far too many good people, but always out of laziness, never out of shame or disgust. Well I'm disgusted now, disgusted that I ever felt any kind of kinship with that person. I feel like a threat to me has been lurking nearby for a long time. My first instinct was to tweet all this, but I didn't like the idea of them reading it, so I blocked them on Twitter, too.

I have next to no daily contact with people I went to school with, but dozens of internet connections with them. I can think of just two schoolfriends I've communicated with in the last two years, but I'm still scared that our paths may cross one day.

I don't know if I'll ever want to get married, but if one day I do, and I can't because hateful bastards have felt the need to exclude 'my kind' from their little club that's supposed to be for everyone, then seriously fuck. Fuck them so much. Fuck them anyway.

Nobody's asking for special treatment, nobody's going to anull your priviledges or ruin your personal relationships. This isn't going to affect you in any way. It's not going to result in poorly raised children, it's not going to stop people breeding, historical ubiquity doesn't excuse ongoing discrimination. The only thing at stake here is equality, and you're on the opposing side.

Comments 29

Total Comments 29

Comments

It makes you wonder if the Nazis thought they were the good guys.

(thought I should get Godwin out of the way early)

Seriously though, do they genuinely feel they're "protecting" marriage, or is it simply the last acceptable outlet for their bigotry? Spare a thought for those bigots. Their day has been, and they're simply fading away, losing ground, losing their god given right to denounce people for not being like them. They're like a religion, except people are allowed to call them on their bull shit.

If this ridiculous protect marriage crap ever actually happens, I don't worry. I know that in 100 years time people will look back with disdain at those people. They will be remembered for their hate, and nothing more.

Also, when I get super powers I will punch them into the Sun.

Either way, I'm happy (and/or dead)

Posted 03-16-2012 at 02:37 PM by Glitch

I thought that by now everyone would have gotten out of these ideologies that homosexuality is an evil act* that will swallow the accursed in the flash fires of Hell. But hey, once again, the world has shown me that in many ways more that's good for them, that we are really a backwards species.

That guy's a twat, a twat who has absolutely no idea what he's talking about. He's better out of you life that's all I can say.

*Just to let y'all know that I know that this sort of discrimination hasn't stopped at all... ever. I was just expressing my thoughts that surely we've advanced enough to put that bullshit behind us.

Posted 03-16-2012 at 03:06 PM by Ridg3

	Wel i don't think unfriending is the best way to deal with differences when someone supports something you oppose or vice versa. But I sympathise with you Wil. You have every right to a legal/religious union.
	Posted 03-16-2012 at 03:12 PM by shaman

	I wouldn't unfriend someone if they said to me that they didn't like mashed potatoes. I would, however, unfriend anyone who spouts hate garbage.
	Posted 03-16-2012 at 03:26 PM by Ridg3

	Maybe it's just me. I've been capable of getting on with people whose views i found utterly repugnant.
	Posted 03-16-2012 at 03:33 PM by shaman

	Excuse my ignorance, but what is going on in Texas? I assume it is terrible and I apologize on behalf of my state. I wrote an argumentative essay for gay marriage a little while back, I don't think that its relevant now though.
	Posted 03-16-2012 at 03:33 PM by Daxter King

Wel i don't think unfriending is the best way to deal with differences when someone supports something you oppose or vice versa. But I sympathise with you Wil. You have every right to a legal/religious union.

Un-friending them without trying to reason with them first, or presenting your argument to them in a logical way that they'll understand - That won't solve anything, sure, but you have to remember that sometimes people don't listen to common sense and will stick to their flawed beliefs, no matter what you say to them... I've been there. Sort of.

Anyway Wil, I don't have a lot to say about this as usual, but I want you to know that I read this and that you have my full sympathy. I've been watching discussions, even talked about this with others, and both me and those I've spoken to really can't understand the logic behind the lobby that is trying to counter the equal marriage bills.

But it's as Glitch and many others have said in the discussions I've seen - Common sense will hopefully prevail. One day, 50 to a hundred years from now, when equal marriage hopefully won't have to be labelled as being "equal" anymore, we'll look back on this and wonder why it was even an issue for those who opposed it.

Posted 03-16-2012 at 03:39 PM by DarkHoodness

	I've considered deleting many people from my friends list for their beliefs. Instead, I just leave snarky comments like "where is the dislike button", or some such shit.
	Posted 03-16-2012 at 03:40 PM by OANST

	: but you have to remember that sometimes people don't listen to common sense and will stick to their flawed beliefs, I've never seen this as a reason to not be friendly.
	Posted 03-16-2012 at 03:41 PM by shaman

	Shaman, you're sort of missing the point here. This is an offhand and ignorant attack. If there's no motivation to try to explain to them why they are full of shit (Someone you need to interact with for work, or a current friend etc) then there's no point in staying in contact with them.
	Posted 03-16-2012 at 03:49 PM by Wings of Fire

@Shaman - Yeah, but when it's actively against something which is a part of who you are, then that's a serious problem.

EDIT: And I'm with WoF on this. If they're going to be that ignorant and you don't need to contact them for work or whatever then it's best to simply ditch them.

I mean I was ditched like that by someone too over differing beliefs, and as much as I resent that it happened, I guess it was for the best in the end.

Posted 03-16-2012 at 03:50 PM by DarkHoodness

Updated 03-16-2012 at 03:54 PM by DarkHoodness

	I was led to believe that it was a current friend.
	Posted 03-16-2012 at 04:01 PM by shaman

	Solidarity five. Those bastards.
	Posted 03-16-2012 at 04:02 PM by Bullet Magnet

I was led to believe that it was a current friend.

Sorry, I didn't explain it clearly. I went to school with this person, but that was almost six years ago. The last time we met up was Christmas Eve 2009. We might have communicated via Facebook or Twitter since, but it's nothing I can remember, so it's no loss to my social or professional life.

Excuse my ignorance, but what is going on in Texas?

I'm not at all familiar with the details, but essentially anti-abortionists have made a major leap in their mission to exert their will on the bodies and lives of women. Read Bullet Magnet's blog.

Maybe it's just me. I've been capable of getting on with people whose views i found utterly repugnant.

I've always thought that I could do exactly that; that despite whatever philosophical, political, social, ethical or cultural differences I might have with a person, I could maintain civility if not friendship in the interests of greater communication between people, and that that would be better for everyone. But I can't. This is an unambiguous and unashamed attack against me and my right to be in a relationship. For whatever reason, I'm an inferior human in his eyes, and that means I don't deserve as much happiness. Any air of friendship has now been lost.

You have every right to a legal/religious union.

Funnily enough, this isn't even the issue. For one, I'm athiest, but the considerations being made by the UK government don't concern religious marriage, only civil marriage. Religious marriage would still be legally restricted to one one man and one woman. Civil marriages must legally be free from any notion of religiousness.

This, of course, goes against religious freedom. If UK law permitted equal religious marriage, a church would have no obligation to perform it, but it would have the option if it wanted to. There are churches that want to perform religious equal marriages for their congregations, notably the Quakers and Unitarians, but are legally unable to.

Posted 03-16-2012 at 04:32 PM by Wil

Ah, well in that case I understand your position. I'm not saying I would do the same thing, but I don't want to be offended whenever I log into Facebook, especially not if it's by someone I don't give a shit about either.

Also, thanks for clearing up the religious freedom vs gay marriage policy. If they want to perform gay marriages but have no obligation to, the motion has my full support.

Posted 03-16-2012 at 04:43 PM by shaman

Wil, whilst I understand your anger and actions, you do need to give that person time, by which I mean, give them a chance.

When I came out, a response I got from one friend was "Stay the hell away from me" and he decided to block all contact with me. I told some other friends and they had a chat to him to try and convince him to still be friends with me. He wouldn't have none of it and still refused to have anything to do with me.

However, when his parents found out what was going on, he got into huge trouble with him to which his mum said to him "You two have been friends for so many years, this isn't a reason to suddenly start falling out"

People change, if you give them chance, and try to talk to them.

Posted 03-16-2012 at 05:43 PM by JennyGenesis

Just as you did in your last blog, is their a chance he could have pasted the wrong link?

But I've never felt shaken, and I've never felt threatened. But when someone I would ordinarily call a friend posted on Facebook a link to the vile Campaign For Marriage, that's exactly how I was made to feel.

Don't be too fast to judge. He is probably surrounded by people who are vehemently against gay marriage. People in general are ignorant and think little for themselves. Have you tried explaining to him that opposing something merely for the point of opposition, or perhaps because the protagonist in an archaic fairy-tale frowns upon it (amongst other oddities as wearing clothes comprised of two different materials and planting different crops side-by-side) is a really fucking moronic thing to do.

Posted 03-16-2012 at 09:17 PM by moxco

Updated 03-16-2012 at 09:22 PM by moxco

I think you were right to unfriend him. While his opinion on homosexual marriage is unfair, he's still entitled to that opinion, however stupid it is. Commenting on it might have been futile, if he has his beliefs set in stone he's not going to change any time soon. I wouldn't let this get to you Wil, chances are he'd have had negative responses to the post he made. You may have the few that are ignorant and have their narrow-minded beliefs, but you'll have plenty more who will support you for who you are.

Posted 03-17-2012 at 03:34 AM by Jordan

	: Just as you did in your last blog, is their a chance he could have pasted the wrong link? : It took a while to sink in. I had to read their accompanying message and subsequent comments a few times to work out if they were actually supporting it, but when I couldn't deny their advocacy of a hate group, I couldn't let them be a friend. I unfriended them. Don’t think that’s the case here.
	Posted 03-17-2012 at 05:13 AM by Manco

	Damn you are lucky, I for one want to live in Texas..... Or somewhere like America for that matter, New Zealand is a wash!
	Posted 03-18-2012 at 08:18 PM by sheridanm962

	Texas or America?
	Posted 03-18-2012 at 10:06 PM by Nate

	Are you some sort of mad conservative sheridan?
	Posted 03-18-2012 at 11:35 PM by JennyGenesis

	: Damn you are lucky, I for one want to live in Texas..... Who's lucky? What are you talking about?
	Posted 03-19-2012 at 02:03 AM by Wil

	[QUOTE]Excuse my ignorance, but what is going on in Texas?[/QUOTE] ^This is what I am talking about. [QUOTE]Texas or America?[/QUOTE] Both would be a bonus.
	Posted 03-19-2012 at 01:18 PM by sheridanm962 Updated 03-19-2012 at 01:23 PM by sheridanm962

	Well, if you can work out how to do the former without the latter, I'd be interested in hearing your technique.
	Posted 03-19-2012 at 04:35 PM by Nate

	http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas,_Queensland : Are you some sort of mad conservative sheridan? HERE COME THE STEREOTYPES
	Posted 03-19-2012 at 11:56 PM by moxco

	Well I've learnt something new, I never even knew there was a Texas in Australia. When will Australia stop stealing places! They have a New South Wales! They stole my region of my country!
	Posted 03-20-2012 at 03:31 AM by JennyGenesis

	: They have a New South Wales! They stole my region of my country! The rest of the sketch (embedding disabled).
	Posted 03-20-2012 at 04:30 AM by Nate

Personally, I think it's a shame you reacted in such a way.

Actually, pretty pathetic.

It's no less bad than someone who doesn't agree with homosexuality allowing it to overrule their friendship with someone, and it reeks of the whole 'LET'S LIVE IN A LIBERAL SOCIETY, WHERE WE CAN ALL GET ALONG...so long as you agree with me'.

You weren't punched in the face. You weren't called a faggot. You weren't victimised. You weren't a victim of homophobia.

You overreacted to something 'cos you have staunch beliefs. THAT'S how the other side feels. They see gays wanting marriage and THEY overreact.

I don't know if people have already mentioned the above points. But yeah. I think you totes overreacted, bbz.

Posted 03-18-2013 at 06:18 PM by Jacob

Recent Blog Entries by Wil

Community Manager Appreciation Day (01-28-2013)
Conversations from Work (08-06-2012)
Block (03-16-2012)
Coalition For Equal Marriage (02-22-2012)
Job (12-23-2011)


< > 2024
Su	Mo	Tu	We	Th	Fr	Sa
20	21	22	23	24	25	26
27	28	29	30	31	1	2
3	4	5	6	7	8	9
10	11	12	13	14	15	16
17	18	19	20	21	22	23
24	25	26	27	28	29	30